You Are Not A Monster
by RomanogersSwan
Summary: After Steve hears Natasha screaming and crying in her sleep he goes into her room to comfort her and what he sees disturbs him deeply. Hint of Hulktasha at the start but then strictly Romanogers. COMPLETE and under editing
1. Chapter 1

You are not a monster

Chapter 1

Fury called all the avengers into the meeting room at 1 in the morning, claiming he had some very important mission for them. Steve was slouched in back in a chair, clearly extremely pissed at the fact that he was awoken at so early in the morning for a mission briefing. Natasha half-lowered, half-fell into the seat in-between Steve and Bruce. Opposite her Tony, Thor and Clint were all looking very annoyed that they had been awoken at some Godforsaken hour.

Everyone stayed silent until the doors burst open to reveal Wanda and Peter who were both panting "Sorry sir, I didn't get your message until a moment ago and then I had to go wake Peter up." Wanda explained, for a moment it looked to Natasha that Fury was going to start shouting but instead he tipped his head back and laughed. Wanda and Peter looked embarrassed as they moved to find their seats.

When the room was once again in silence, Fury started to brief the avengers about the mission- "Red Rooms leader has been spotted entering and leaving a building about a five minute drive for here. The building is close to a very popular park" He paused his gazing flicking to Natasha who had gone very still, Bruce noticed this and put a reassuring hand on her hand. Natasha nodded at Fury to continue. "Your job is to arrest Ivan and bring him back here for questioning. If it Agent Romanoff agrees I would like her to lead the mission alongside Captain Rogers." He finished looking at Natasha who nodded and looked toward Steve- who had gone very pale and was staring repulsively at where Bruce's hand was placed protectively over hers. Natasha cleared her throat and gave Steve and questioning smile-"I would to lead the mission alongside Nat" He smiled back at her. Fury handed her the mission file and left the briefing room.

"Ok. Bruce you're with Clint, Wanda you're stick with Peter" She joked, "Hey!" Peter said feigning offence, she chuckled and continued, "As I was saying- Wanda you're with Peter and Thor and Tony are partners. Steve and I will be at this bench" She told them pointing at a spot on the map, "Peter and Wanda you guys will be up in a tree. Clint and Bruce on the roof of the ice-cream while Tony and Tony are on top of the building Ivan is squatting in, you guys can tell us when Ivan has left" she paused and looked at each avenger in turn, her gaze lingering on Steve for a moment longer it normally is should have, "Now go get some sleep. I want in the dining hall by 6:30, so we can finalise plans. Got it?" Everyone nodded.

Natasha walked back to her room with Steve and Bruce. When they arrived at their floor she said a hasty goodnight to Bruce and then walked in comfortable silence with Steve until they got to their rooms.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 **Author's note- there is the aftermath of Natasha hurting herself. There is not much detail but if you don't want to read it skip ahead to the next chapter and I will recap what happened in this chapter at the start of the next one.**

Steve's dreams were disturbed by images of Natasha and Bruce hugging and kissing. He knew he shouldn't – no couldn't- be in love with Natasha but he was. It made him jealous the way Bruce looked at her and she looked at him. Steve was brought back to reality when he heard faint screams and sobs coming from the room next to him. He pulled on a shirt and walked to his door. "Tash?" he called gently- no reply but her screaming had subsided which meant she was awake but her sobbing never ceased. He found the spare key under her doormat and unlocked the door. What he saw disturbed him deeply.

Natasha was sitting up; one wrist dripping with blood, a razor blade lay next to her. "Oh, Nat" he whispered walking over to her and grabbed the razor, he walked to her bathroom found bandages and wound cleaning solution, he then threw the razor in the bin. He walked back over to her and sit on the bed next to her as she curled into a ball next to him a continued to sob as he bandaged and cleaned her wounds. "Nat please talk to me. I won't judge please." He murmured. Steve lay down next to the crying ball that was Natasha, who uncurled herself and nestled into his side. He snaked his arms around her waist and hugged her tight.

There in that moment Natasha realised something she had subconsciously known for a while- she liked, no loved Steve in the way she should love Bruce. They lay like this for a while; until Natasha wriggle out of his embrace and sat up. "I was 5 or 6. Both my parents had been killed in fire that was set by Red Room. I was captured and put in the Black Widow programme. They kept me in that programme until I turned 18 then they gave me the best present ever!" She said sarcastically, taking a deep breath and steadied herself but what she was about to say but tears streamed down her face as she continued, "They took away my ability to have children- apparently they compromise your ability to fight and kill. After I turned 18 I was turned into a KGB assassin. I killed so many people"

Steve couldn't believe what he had just heard. "How long?" he asked looking down at her bandaged wrist.

"Since I started to kill people. Every cut and scar I have for everyone I killed." She mumbled

"Thank you for trusting me. But why were you screaming and crying in your sleep." Natasha looked up at Steve her grass green eyes glazed with tears. "I get nightmares. I have to choose whom I will kill and whom I'll save. When I refused they shot you and Peter. They forced me to sit and watch you bleed out and die before they shot me in the back." She finished her head dropping as Steve wrapped his arms and around her and hugged her. He placed a gentle kiss to her lava red hair. She looked up at him, her face stained with tears. Steve wished he could kiss away all her tears, he hated seeing her upset but he knew there was nothing he could do to help her forget her past. Natasha saw he looked upset and said, "I'm fine Steve, really." Then more hesitantly she asked, "Stay with me?"

Steve was taken aback by the bluntness of her question but he felt rude to say no after she trusted him. "Sure" he scratched the back of his head and looked awkward "I'll take the sofa?" Nat smiled, "No I want you next to me in case I do something I regret." Steve nodded and crawled in next to her. She curled into a ball at his side "Night Steve" she whispered. "Night Nat"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Recap of last chapter- Steve awakes and hears Natasha screaming and crying. He goes to check on her and sees that she was self-harming. She then told him about red room and the nightmares she gets. She asked him to stay with her to keep an eye on her so she doesn't do anything she'll regret. Also I'm going away today so I may not update everyday but when I get back I will continue to try and update this everyday. Also send me prompts for any one-shots or multi chapter fics you want to happen. Enjoy!**

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The alarm blared in her ears, she reached out a hand to stop it and saw her arm covered in bandages. Then she remembered what had happened last night. She looked round and saw no trace of Steve. He had left her. That upset her because she thought he was the only one who would stay with her to make sure she was ok. Nat tried not to think of him or the fact she trusted him. A single sob escaped her as tears streamed down her face. She wiped them of quickly. _Stop thinking about him Natasha! You were not raised this way! You got lucky with Banner, so what? Doesn't mean everyone has to like you or care for you. I mean who would like a monster?_ She thought to herself. Wiping away the last of her tears she walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out her black catsuit and after some deliberation she pulled out her favourite beige trench coat and beige-brown cat eye sunglass.

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Steve knew, he knew he shouldn't have left her. After she trusted him with her past and problems he still left. _She has a boyfriend! You want her to be happy, even if it isn't with you, don't you? So you made the right decision leaving her. Anyway she was sleeping peacefully AND you stayed up all night to make sure she was ok._ He thought. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the clicking of heals. He turned to see the most beautiful woman he thought he had very seen. Steve tried to catch Natasha's eye but she kept her gaze trained on the bar. Steve thought about going up to her and apologising but he thought better of it. He knew how Natasha got when she was upset or pissed or both for that matter.

The fact that Steve didn't come and check on her upset her. She really thought she could trust him. For the second time that morning she started to cry. She knew Steve could hear her but the fact that he blatantly ignored her pissed her off even more. _He's not your boyfriend! He is under no obligation to look after you or continue to check up on you! So stop crying and grow the fuck up!_ These thoughts made her feel no better. _This is so messed up._ She thought _The Black Widow is not meant to catch feelings for someone. An when has she EVER had boy problems?_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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 **A/N- And I'm back. I'm sorry the chapters are so short. Enjoy this chapter.**

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After half an hour of awkward silence that was occasionally broken by Natasha's sobs they both heard footsteps. Natasha dried her eyes and turned to face the people she had come to call friends. Nat got up from her seat and went to sit at the table they were all clustered around. They were in their usual attire although it looked like Tony had made some adjustments to Peter's suit.

"So you all know where you will be positioned?" She asked trying to keep her voice as steady as she could, she was met with a chorus of 'yes' from everyone apart from Peter who had fallen asleep with his head on Wanda's shoulder., Natasha shook her head at Tony who was about to wake him up. "As I was saying, Tony and Thor you are to notify us as soon as you see Ivan leave the building. It will take him 10-15 minutes to arrive at the park. When he enters the park he will start to look for Red Room 'recruits'"

She cringed and looked towards Steve who gave her a sympathetic and encouraging smile, Natasha turned away not wanting to get lost in his sea blue eyes and continued, "When he goes up to a child and starts talking to it that's when Steve and I will go up and arrest him. Hopefully he won't start an armed fight in the park but if he does you guys" She pointed to Clint, Bruce, Wanda and a sleeping Peter, "Need to get everyone to safety. You are just here as back up." Everyone nodded. So Nat motioned for them to leave. As Wanda tried to get up, Peter started awake "Wait! What's happening? What are we doing?" He shouted worriedly. Nat laughed and helped Wanda and Peter up. She ran to the front of the group.

Bruce caught up with her, "Nat you ok? You look upset and you keep either giving Steve death glares or avoiding his eye." He said worriedly, he then tried to hold her hand but she snatched it away. _He's your boyfriend Nat. He's just concerned. Try to be nice and just because someone hurt you doesn't mean you need to go all Black Widow on them and shut them and everyone else out!_ Natasha felt her eyes begin to burn at the thought so she sped up, leaving a hurt and confused Bruce.

 **A/N-**

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 **I'm writing a one-shot at the moment called 'Bye, bye swimsuits, hello bikinis' Basically Tony hires out a water park for the Avengers to use for that day. Natasha keeps thinking back to Steve's words and decides she should tease him and prove him wrong. Although her teasing doesn't go to plan. Anyway it should be posted by tomorrow so if you want to check it out by all means do. Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

30 minutes later, and all Avengers were in position- Steve and Nat were on the bench, Thor and Tony on top of the building Ivan was in, Clint and Bruce on top of the ice-cream parlour and Wanda and Peter in the tree opposite Nat and Steve. "Steve? Lady Natasha? Thor asked over the comm "Yes" Natasha smiled "Ivan has been seen leaving the building. He'll be 15-20 minutes probably." Tony piped in "OK thanks." She said.

Steve decided to tell Natasha why he left her last night because Ivan would be awhile and none of the other Avengers could hear them. "Nat? Hey Tash?" he asked reaching for her hand but she pulled it away but she still listened "You deserve an explanation about last night. You were sleeping so peacefully and your wrist had stopped bleeding and you have a boyfriend. Goes by the name of Bruce Banner? Goes green and muscly when he gets angry?" This made Natasha laugh but her laugh was mixed with sobs, Steve noticed this but continued anyway, "Look, I just didn't want you or me to get on his bad side" Steve finished and reached for her hand- this time she didn't pull away. He gave her a reassuring smile. At this Natasha removed he sunglasses and dried her eyes and tried to smile.

This made Steve laugh because she looked so cute when she smiled. At Steve's laugh she pulled her hand out from under Steve's and went to hit him, but Steve caught her wrist and she let put a cry of pain "Sorry" He whispered as he put his finger up to her lips indicting for her to be quiet. Natasha playfully kissed his finger and giggled as his cheeks turned red. He smiled and mouthed "Ivan, in the park." Natasha nodded and motioned for him to follow her. They walked out to where Ivan was talking to a young girl, who had a striking resemblance to Lila, which made Natasha's heart beat faster. Just as Ivan reached out a hand to the little girl Natasha ran forward and grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back. The young girl screamed and ran to her mother. Steve saw Ivan reach for his gun with his spare, but just before he could reach it Natasha punched him in the face. As his hand went up to cup his broken and bloodied nose she grabbed it and cuffed him. This encounter looked like it had drained Natasha so he went up and took Ivan from her. He put his arm around her and gave her a friendly one armed hug.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"What the fuck?" Bruce said angrily as he sat down next to her. "What?" She said, wiping her eyes. "That stunt you pulled with Steve", Natasha looked confused, she genuinely had no idea what he was talking about. "I'm your boyfriend, not Cap!" Natasha gave him a questioning look and mumbled, "I know" This pissed Bruce of even more. "Then why were you kissing him and not me?" Natasha knew Steve could hear her from where he was sitting opposite them, so she dared a glance over in his direction and saw hurt in eyes.

"Bruce he was just apologising for last night" As soon as the words left her mouth she knew she had said the wrong thing. "What? What happened last night?" He practically shouted, giving Steve a glare to rival that of Natasha's. "I was upset because of Fury informing us that Ivan was so close was bringing back old memories." She paused looking over at Steve who looked at her wrist questioningly she just shook her head, "Steve heard me crying and being the gentleman he is came to check if I was ok. I then asked him to stay with me because I didn't want to be alone." She glanced at Steve and thought she should tell Bruce everything she was to scared to tell Steve, "When I awoke, he had left. I was angry to trusted him not to leave me in case I did something I'd regret and then he had left, so I spent ages this morning pissed and upset because I enjoy his company and makes me feel safe. But he then apologised at the park and I realised that I was being stupid cos he cared about me because he didn't want you to get in a fight with me, so I forgave him because I couldn't risk losing my best friend." At that exact moment Clint walked past, giving her a look feigning hurt, she laughed and added, "So are you Barton!" She shouted after him as he walked into the pilot's seat. Bruce looked confused, "If you were upset why didn't you or Cap come and get me? My room is right down the hall?" He asked while flashing Steve a look, Steve pretended he wasn't listening in on her conversation. "I couldn't because I was asleep and because of the thin walls and super serum he could hear me. Either that he was stalkerishly waiting outside my door." Natasha looked up and saw that Steve had gone bright red, she winked at him and his face went an even darker shade of red.

"Well instead of thinking with his dick and climbing into your bed without a second thought, fuckboy over there should have come and woken me up. Seeing as I am your boyfriend afterall." Bruce finished and Natasha looked up at Steve and saw he looked hurt and apologetic from where he said, "It's not your fault." She whispered. Steve nodded and smiled; Natasha returned the gesture before turning back to Bruce. "In his defence he wasn't thinking with his dick, he offered to take the sofa and watch over me so don't you fing dare blame any of this on him! He was being a good friend." Natasha finished and, her voice cracking slightly.

"Nat can't you see? He just wants to get in your pants." When Natasha looked confused he explained, "If a girl asks a boy to stay with her, 'I'll take the sofa' is one of the first things a boy says if he wants to get in her pants. I've said it before and I'll say it again- he's just a fuckboy!" As Bruce finished Natasha felt a solitary tear run down her cheek. For the first time in what felt like forever, she didn't bother to wipe away her tears, for the first time in forever the Black Widow was crying in public.

Natasha got up and moved away from Bruce to where Clint was piloting the plane. She flopped down next to him and let the tears fall freely from her grass green eyes on top to her perfect porcelain skin. Upon seeing this Clint turned the jet to autopilot and went to hug Natasha. "Hey, you ok?" He asked, "Yes" she lied her voice breaking. "no your are not." He murmured and pulled away from her and reached out his hand to help her up. She took it and together they made their way to the rest of the Avenger who were laughing talking with Steve. And for the rest of the journey they all stayed together looking after Nat, laughing and joking.

 **Sorry if there are any mistakes. I was writing this on the plane.**


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha walked over to the bulletproof glass and slammed her fists into it, getting Ivan's attention. Normally the Avengers would wait and report to Fury on the success of their missions before interrogating a prisoner but Steve let Natasha carry on anyway but he still kept a hand on his gun.

"Well, well, well, this wasn't quite the welcome I was expecting Natalia." Ivan said nonchalantly. "Why the fuck were you at the park?!" She screamed, even though she knew the answer, "Recruiting" he simply stated, "I was recruiting new young girls like yourself to train. After you left we lost our best assassin. After you left we tore your room apart and what we found frankly, didn't surprise me Natalia." He paused his gaze flicking to Natasha and then to Steve a smirk on his face, "We found your notebook. It was filled with the same things, scrawled over and over again; 'I am a monster. I deserve to die.'" He smirked and continued, "Is that why you always wear a catsuit? To cover the hideous and monstrous scars that climb up your wrist? You were right Natalia: you are a monster and you deserve to die." Ivan finished his speech and turned his back to Natasha.

Natasha felt her legs buckle as silent sobs escaped her. She was about to fall to the ground when she felt Steve's muscular arms scoop her up and carry her to her room.

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 **A/N- Sorry this chapter is so short. I didn't really know how I would fit and Ivan and Natasha encounter into the story and I hope it worked. Anyway sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors.**


	8. Chapter 8

When Natasha was finally alone in her room with a Steve she broke. She screamed and hit Steve, because he removed the pocketknife from under her pillow, until he caught her wrists, being careful of her injuries and held on. Eventually she stopped hitting him and she fell into him, her head resting on his chest. She cried for what felt like hours all the while Steve whispered words of comfort into her ear. Steve picked Natasha up and placed her on the bed, she squirmed until her head was resting on his lap, she continued to cry. Her stroked her lava-red hair as it cascaded over his legs. They stayed like this for ages until JARVIS- in his robotic voice- said, "Miss Romanoff,Mr Rogers? Your lunch is beginning served."

"Ok thanks JARVIS." Steve said to the AI. Steve got up to go, "I'm just gonna go change then I'll be right back." She nodded and curled into a ball, her catsuit still on. Steve ran out to change and he returned in a tracksuit.

When he returned he saw Natasha sitting in her bed, her catsuit half off. Steve's eyes landed on her cleavage and lingered there for a while until he redirected his gaze to the ceiling. He walked to her wardrobe and pulled out the first t-shirt he found- surprisingly it was a I heart Captain America shirt and this made Steve laugh. He tossed it to her, still keeping his eyes on the ceiling and after a couple of seconds Natasha said, "You can look now solider. I'm covered." She laughed, Steve looked towards her and saw they cuts and scars running up her wrist. He didn't say anything to which Natasha was thankful for, instead he asked, "Are you coming to lunch or do you want me to bring you up some?" Natasha shrugged, "I can't face them right now, especially Banner. When you guys have finished can you bring me up some food please?" She answered sheepishly. "Of course Nat. I'll tell them that you aren't feeling well and that the encounter with Ivan left you a bit shaken. She nodded. Before he left he added, "You are not a monster Natasha. You are my best friend and my partner." Natasha smiled at Steve as he left for lunch, and settled down to sleep.

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 **A/N- I'm sorry the chapters have been getting shorter and shorter. Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors. Also send me some ideas for one shots and I'll make a new story that is just one shot ideas that people have sent me. You can send more than one idea**


	9. Chapter 9

Lunch was extremely awkward. Bruce kept shooting Steve death glares whilst was everyone was silent. "Where's Nat?" Clint asked worry in his voice. "Nat's not feeling well and her encounter with Ivan-however brief-has left her a bit shaken. She asked me to bring her some food when we've finished eating." He answered and with a look at Bruce added, "Bruce can you please stop looking at me like that. As far as I am aware I have done nothing wrong." At this everyone turned and looked at Bruce. "You stole my girlfriend you dick! That's what's wrong!" He shouted, "You have been in her room ever since we got back from our mission- which was over 3 hours ago!" Steve smiled and that pissed. "Correct me if I get this wrong but you guys are still together, right? I'm just looking after my best friend who was just encountered her worst enemy!" Thor nodded, clearly agreeing with Steve, "I agree, Steve has not stolen Lady Natasha. They are merely friends." Thor stated. _It's all true, apart from the fact I love her and she doesn't feel the same way._ Steve thought sadly. "I agree with Thor. Steve hasn't done anything wrong. The only crime he has committed was looking after his best friend who is going through a tough time." Tony piped in. "It's true Bruce." Clint said, "you practically accused Nat of cheating literally seconds after she arrested the person who practically tortured her for 18 years!"

Steve dipped his head in gratitude to his friends and looked over to Wanda and Peter. Both looked extremely uncomfortable and Wanda looked like she had been crying- her eyes were red and puffy. He motioned for them to follow him out into the corridor.

"What's wrong?" He asked, Wanda and Peter looked at each other and shook their heads. "Come on you guys. You can trust me. It's about Nat, isn't it?" He asked and Wanda nodded as Peter opened his mouth to explain, "When we captured Ivan we saw you grab her arm, as she was about to slap you and we heard her yelp in pain." Peter took a shaky breath and continued, "And when we were in the quinjet she rolled her sleeves up slightly and I saw cuts and scars. Was she hurt?" Steve groaned inwardly, as far as he knew he was the only one that knew Natasha self harms. Steve sighed, Natasha was gonna be pissed they knew, but he decided to tell them anyway, "Yes, she was hurt." Wanda looked worried, "By whom?" She whispered. "By herself. Natasha has been self harming for some time and knowing Ivan was near set her back." He voice cracking despite his efforts to keep it steady, "Please don't tell anyone." As he finished Wanda started to cry and Peter had begun to tear up. He pulled them both into a hug. "Can we see her?" Wanda asked pulling away from his embrace. "Um, let me check with JARVIS and see if she's awake. JARVIS please see if Miss Romanoff is awake." He told the AI, "I'm sorry sir, Miss Romanoff is sleeping." The AI informed them. "Thanks JARVIS. I'm going to bring her some food, and when she wakes up I'll tell her you guys want to see her." Wanda nodded and dried her eyes. Together they walked back over to the table and Steve piled some sandwiches on a plate for her.

"Unless you want to give them to her?" He asked Bruce, holding out the plate to him, "Since you are her boyfriend?" Bruce gave him a vulgar gesture. "I'll see you guys at dinner, or whenever I can convince Nat out of her room." And with that he turned on his heel and left.


	10. Chapter 10

Steve let himself into Natasha's room. He walked in and placed the plate on her dresser. He then looked at her and she looked so peaceful and beautiful.

It was dark. The kinda of dark that comforts and scares you at the same time. She turned, darkness. She was in that room again. She stumbled forward, searching for something solid. She tripped and fell to the floor with a yelp. She yelled until a light flicked on. She saw Laura, Lila, Cooper, Nathaniel, Clint, Pepper, Tony, Thor, Bruce, Wanda, Peter and Steve all standing in a line, all of whom looked terrified. Another glance and she saw a gun held to each of their heads. "Choose Natalia. Choose who dies and who you want to save!" A voice told her, "No!" Nat screamed, her voice breaking. "Kill me instead! Leave them out of it! They are innocent!" Ivan ignored her and continued, "Should it be the children, who have no say in the matter? The mother who is just as innocent? The girl who Stark has fallen for? The God of Thunder? The guy who has anger issues and accused of cheating? The multi-billionaire who even though you hate to admit it- you like to have as a friend? The archer who you have grown so very close to and who saved your life? The two youngest and most inexperienced Avengers, who you love and care for like a mother? Or?" He paused, clearly enjoying the look of pain and upset on Natasha's face, "Or, Natalia, the super solider? The one you so desperately love but deep down you know- he will never be with a monster like you, the man who comforts you at any given moment? Choose Natalia! Who will you save and who will you loose?"

Natasha was sobbing as she heard Steve's voice, urging her to wake up.

She jolted awake, gasping for air. She tucked her hair behind her ear. Steve climbed onto the bed- his heart breaking to see the woman he secretly loved so upset- and wrapped his arms around her, murmuring words of comfort. "I'm a monster. I don't deserve you." She murmured into his chest. He knew there was no way she would answer this but he gave it a shot anyway, "Nat, what happened?" Just as he suspected she didn't answer but instead she asked, "What time is it?" Checking his watch he said, "It's 5:30. Oh and I brought you some lunch." Gesturing towards her bedside table. "Peter and Wanda want to know if you're ok. They know." Natasha pulled away from him and gazed into his baby blue eyes, "Know what?" She asked suspiciously. "About your cuts and scars. They saw them on the quinjet" Natasha sighed, and to his relief didn't look pissed. "Okay. Well that's two less people I have to tell."

Nodding Steve climbed of her bed and headed to her door. "Where are you going?" Natasha asked timidly, "I'm getting you some water. And I'll get Peter and Wanda if you want to see them." He told her gently. Natasha nodded and climbed out of her bed and headed towards her wardrobe.

 **Thank you for all the reviews and favs! I'm posting a new story, not sure yet if it's gonna be a one shot or multi-chapter, anyway it should be posted later today. Check it out it's called 'Milkshakes and truth'**


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha sat at her dresser, brushing her red hair; she was trying to make herself look better than she did when she woke up. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out black leggings and a red camisole. She knew the top would show off all her scars and cuts but she didn't care. They weren't something to be ashamed of and anyway the 3 people that she was talking to already knew. Then she walked back to her bed and sat down reading 'Twilight'. _Who knew THE Black Widow was such a fan of romance?_ She thought to herself.

About 5 minutes later she heard a knock on the door, "It's open" She called. The knob and a very angry Bruce Banner stormed into her room, a green tint to his skin. She tugged her blanket over her arms, clearly this was not the time to explain to her boyfriend. "Bruce, you ok?" She asked tentatively. "You asked to see Wanda and Peter before you asked to see me? I'm your boyfriend." He exclaimed. "Bruce, leave and come back when you're calm. I don't want you hulking out and hurting me. So please just leave." She told him. "NO! Explain to me why you wanted to see Wanda, Peter and Steve before me!"

"I wanted to see them because they wanted to check if I was ok. Unlike you who doesn't seem to care" She told him, raising her voice slightly. To late she noticed that the green tint to he skin had turned him completely green. "Shit" She mumbled before getting out of her bed and running to her door. A big green fist landed on her arm, she heard a snap and pain shot up her arm. "Bruce calm down!" She screamed. Jst before she blacked out she heard Steve scream her name and Wanda and Peter rush to help her.

Steve, Wanda and Peter were walking up to Natasha's room when they heard raised voices and crashing. They broke into a run and skidded into her room. A big, green, angry Bruce Banner was attacking her room. Steve saw her very close to unconsciousness as she was attacked by the Hulk. Peter charged forward, kneeling by her side, Steve screamed her name. Wanda used her powers to calm Hulk back to Banner. Steve ran forward and scooped her up and charged to the hospital, not looking back to see if Banner was Banner again. Peter and Wanda ran ahead of him to warn the hospital. He burst through the hospital doors and placed her on a hospital bed. Turning he saw Dr. Cho run towards him, Peter and Wanda at her side. "She needs surgery, right now." She informed him, pushing him away and wheeling Natasha off to surgery. Peter, Wanda and Steve were ushered into the waiting room. Steve sat down on a chair and buried his face in his hands. He felt tears on his palms. He wiped them away as Peter asked, "Is she gonna be ok?" He shrugged as Wanda replied, "She has to be, she's the Black Widow and she's the only other girl in the Avengers." Steve nodded in agreement and put an arm around Wanda as she began to cry.

 **A/N- I know this chapter is a tad weird and very short but I hope it works. Anyway thank you for all the reviews and favs. Sorry if there are any grammatical errors.**


	12. Chapter 12

Natasha was still in surgery when the Avengers came running, surprisingly Bruce was with them. They all bombarded him with questions while Bruce stood at the back of the group- looking guilty. Steve raised a finger to his lips, indicating for the group to be quiet, as his eyes darted to Peter who's head was resting on his shoulder, and then to Wanda whose heads was resting Peter's lap. They all nodded and moved to sit in the spare seats around the waiting room except Clint who stood in front of him, one eyebrow raised, clearly expecting an explanation. "After I brought her lunch, I told her that these two" He gestured towards Wanda and Peter, who were still asleep, "wanted to see her. She then asked me to go and get them. When I came back she was being attacked by," He faltered, his gaze flicking to Banner and back in the blink of an eye. "By who? Tell me who? I swear to God I will wring their fucking neck!"

"Language!" Steve exclaimed while Clint laughed. "But seriously who?" Steve gulped and as he was opening his mouth to reply when Dr. Cho came out of the room. "Mr Rogers?"

"Yes?"

"Miss Romanoff of out of surgery and is requesting for you to visit her. She would also like Miss Maximoff and Mr Parker to visit her as well." Steve nodded and woke up Peter and Wanda. Clint got up to follow them but Dr. Cho stopped him, "I'm sorry, we are only allowing two people so see Miss Romanoff after this visit." Looking disgruntled Clint nodded and went to sit next to Thor.

Dr. Cho led them to Natasha's room. "What injuries does she have?" Peter asked, one arm around Wanda comforting her as tears poured down her face. "A broken arm and broken leg. She will be in hospital for a couple of weeks and then bed rest." Dr. Cho explained, pausing before opening the door to the room. "She's just coming of the anaesthetic so will be a bit drowsy." With that she left them alone. The three of them walked in, Steve's heart broke to see the women he loved lying in a hospital bed, her arm and leg bandaged up. Steve saw Wanda and Peter rush forward to their friend's bedside. The two then spent a while fussing over the person who acted like their mother, who was barely conscious.

After a while Natasha opened her eyes, "Now you two go get some sleep. You guys look worse than me and that's saying something." Peter and Wanda headed for the door, "Also could you please tell anyone that's waiting that I just want to speak to Steve alone. So no more visitors please." She added as Peter and Wanda nodded and left.

As the two left Natasha raised her head and tried to pull herself into, Steve saw her wince and rushed forward to help her. "Thanks solider." Steve smiled, "Do you know who attacked you?" Natasha nodded, "Hulk."

"Why?" Steve asked, Natasha just shrugged and patted the bed. Steve looked confused and Natasha laughed at how confused he was. "Come here." Steve still looked confused so feigning frustration she told him, "Come and be my human pillow dipshit." Steve laughed at her forwardness and sat on the bed, near her pillow. Natasha rearranged herself so she was using his chest as a pillow. She looked up at him, her green eyes meeting his beautiful blue ones. "Over lunch he kept shooting me death glares and saying that I stole you and he accused you of cheating on him with me." Natasha nodded, "He was mad because I asked to see Wanda and Peter instead of him." Natasha told him, looking up and Steve again and saw sorrow, worry and love? _Wait, Natasha before you get all worked up and start confessing your love for him think. He probably just loves you as a friend and nothing more._ She thought, instantaneously her smile faded to be replaced by a frown and watery eyes. _Get it together Natasha. You have known for ages he doesn't like you back so pull yourself together and stop looking so sad. Put up a front and stop obsessing over someone that will never be yours, never mind how much you love him._


	13. Chapter 13

Steve saw Natasha's beautiful smile disappear in the blink of an eye. "Nat, what's wrong?" Steve asked, "I just, its, I, don't worry, its nothing." She mumbled, wiping her eyes. "Come on Nat, you can trust me. What's wrong?" Natasha swallowed and opened her mouth to reply, but a panting Bruce Banner cut her off. "Oh my God, Nat! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to loose control." Bruce said, walking forward to hug Natasha.

"Leave." Was all Natasha said, "What, Nat, come on. I'm your boyfriend, come on, I'm sorry." Bruce exclaimed, trying to touch Natasha's hand. Natasha snatched her hand away. "No, no you're not." She mumbled. "Not what?" Bruce asked worriedly, "My boyfriend, you are not my boyfriend and don't want to see you ever. So leave." She told him and turned to bury her face in the crook of Steve's neck- her body shacking with sobs.

At Natasha statement Steve's heart missed so many beats. _Does this mean I may have a chance with Natasha?_ He thought to himself, _don't be silly, just cos she broke up with Bruce doesn't mean she loves you or even likes you like that._ He scolded himself.

"Nat please." Bruce pleaded, "I think you should leave." Steve told him. Bruce sighed, gave Steve a vulgar gesture and left.

"Nat? He's gone," He murmured. Natasha uncurled herself and looked him straight in the eye. "Nat, I know something else is bothering you, please tell me what it is." Steve pleaded but Natasha just shook head. "Natasha I have known you for ages and I know when you're hiding something from me. Come on, spill." Natasha murmured something that Steve didn't catch, despite his super solider serum. "Pardon?" He said, "Ok, what I'm about to tell you really hurts me cos I know you don't feel the same way. So can you please let me finish what I'm going to say and then you can judge me and leave." Steve didn't say anything he just nodded, "It bothers me because I love you. I know you don't feel the same way as me. I'm going to leave the Avengers because I can't stand the thought of you knowing I love you and you not feeling the same. I'm sorry, I let you leave." She told him, leaning forward to let Steve but he didn't move.


	14. Chapter 14

It took Steve a while to process what Natasha had said. She loves him? She was going to leave him? Natasha had leaned forward so he could leave, he didn't leave and instead he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him and kissed the back of her head. "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you." He murmured.

Natasha twisted and faced him, "Wait, what?" Natasha looked and sounded bewildered. "I love you too. Why do you think I was always up in the middle of the night? I cared for you so much and seeing you with Bruce hurt- even though I set you up. Seeing you to fight made me hope we could be together but seeing you laying here, completely helpless just broke me." Steve finished, as Natasha looked straight in his eye and this time she knew she saw love.

Stifling a yawn Natasha smiled up at him, "You tired?" Steve asked, smiling a little. "I'll leave you to sleep." He said, kissing her forehead and trying to get up. "No, don't leave. Stay, anyway you are a very good human pillow." Steve laughed at how cute this lethal assassin was being at the moment. Leaning down Steve kissed Natasha's nose and settled down to sleep. "Night Steve," She whispered, "Night Nat." This time when Natasha woke up Steve was still there.

Natasha awoke with a strong pain in her leg. Leaning forward she check her phone- 1:43- yawning she snuggled back down to sleep but felt that someone was watching her. Sitting up straighter she felt Steve stir, "Hey solider, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I just have a sore leg and" Her voice trailed off as Steve pulled her onto his lap and captured her lips. Natasha pulled away almost as soon as his lips met hers. Steve pouted, "Hey! This may only be my third kiss since 1945 but it wasn't that bad? Was it?"

Natasha smiled, "No, no, its good but I feel like someone is watching us." Steve nodded and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her safe and close.

"Very good Natalia. I'm glad to see that what you learnt in the Black Widow programme is still with you. Now tell me where Ivan is and you won't get hurt." Natasha gasped and turned to look at Steve, fear in her eyes. "What do you want?" Natasha asked, trying to keep her voice from breaking. Steve reached one hand under her pillow and pulled out the gun and cocked it discreetly. "All we want is her and Ivan," He demanded sharply pointing a finger at Natasha. "Well unfortunately for you, you can't have either." Steve said tightening his grip on the gun. "I'll just have to take her by force then shall I?" Natasha heard his statement and buried her head in his chest.

Steve saw the scout cock his gun, but Steve being the super solider he is pulled the gun out from under the sheets and shot once, twice, three times.

Natasha heard 3 gunshots and expected to feel blood covering her and Steve, but she didn't. Natasha felt her eyes brim with tears as she looked up at Steve, worry in his gaze. Looking around the hospital room she saw the Red Room scout lying in a puddle of his on blood, three bullet wounds. Natasha just stared at the body blankly, not even registering the fact that Steve was shaking her shoulders and talking to her, "Natasha? You're safe, ok? You're safe." Steve whispered into her ear, whilst holding her close. "I love you Steve and that is why you need to leave. They will kill you. I'm sorry." She whispered her voice breaking and tears streaming down her face.

"Nat, listen to me, you're safe, ok? Everyone here will protect you." Steve whispered, "I can't loose you. I am a danger to everyone here, please leave me alone."

"No. How many times will I have to tell you? I'm not leaving.'' Natasha had never felt so cared for in her entire life, she didn't know how or what to do, it was all new to her. She felt even more tears spill down her face. She felt Steve lower her onto her pillow and plant a soft kiss to her forehead. "Where are you going?" She asked worriedly, all her previous comments about Steve needing to leave her had disappeared; now she was just worried about being left alone. "Please don't leave me." She whimpered.

"I'll come back, I promise. I just need to tell Fury and the others about what just happened." He told her, walking to the door. Just as he opened the door she heard him say, "JARVIS can you please inform Director Fury, and the Avengers that I need to see them in the hospital waiting room." Natasha lay down, her hands on the gun. Slowly, he drifted into a fit-full sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

"Why in the holy hells of fire would you wake us up and bring us here at 2 in the morning, Agent?" Fury asked, clearly pissed that he had been awoken up so early.

"Red Room came and wanted Natasha and Ivan. I killed him but Natasha's a bit shaken up." Steve stated, looking straight at Peter and Wanda both of whom looked worried and scared. "Why were you with Natasha so late?" Tony asked, eyeing Steve suspiciously. "Does it matter Tony?" Clint asked, "What matters is the fact that someone from Red Room got into Avengers tower and then into the hospital." Clint continued. Steve dipped his head in thanks as he heard a scream coming from the hospital. "Natasha." Steve mumbled before charging into the hospital.

Natasha was thrashing around, her forehead drenched in sweat. Steve climbed onto the bed and held her arms down, still careful of her cuts and broken arm. "Natasha. Wake up." He repeated until she had woken up.

She saw Steve's face gazing down at her, his eyes filled with love. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him like her life depended on it. "Nat? You ok?" She heard Clint ask. Reluctantly she broke away from Steve and nodded to Clint. "Yeesh! Is that the scout? He was really ugly!" Tony exclaimed, earning a smack to the back of the head from Wanda. "Rogers, take Agent Romanoff back to her room and stay with her, make sure she stays safe." Fury ordered him. Steve nodded and scooped Natasha up, being careful of her arm and leg. "Steve?" He heard Wanda ask quietly, "Yes Wanda?"

"Can we come with you? We want to help Nat as well." Before Steve could answer he heard Natasha say, "Sure you can."

* * *

 **A/N- Sorry this chapter was so short. I'm hoping the next few chapters will be longer.**


	16. Chapter 16

5 minutes later and the four of them were all in Natasha's room- Steve and Peter facing the door, Natasha sitting on her bed (still in the hospital gown) whilst Wanda searched through her closet, looking for clothes. "Nat? I don't think any of your clothes are going to fit over your casts. They all look really tight fighting." Wanda called, her head still in the closet. "Steve, can I borrow some of your clothes?" Nat asked sheepishly. "Sure. Be right back"

As soon as Wanda and Peter heard the lock click they looked Natasha questioningly. "What?" She asked eyeing them. "Are you and Steve together or something?" Peter blurted out earning a slap from Wanda, "Oh God, were we so obvious?" Nat asked worriedly. "Oh my God! You guys are together! Tell us everything!" Wanda ordered, sitting next to Natasha expectantly. "Ok. It all started when we first started working together, you know when Loki invaded New York with Chitauri?" She stopped when they heard the door being opened. They all turned and looked at Steve, holding tracksuit bottoms and a top. "Nat? What are you telling them?" He asked worriedly, moving to sit next to Natasha. "Oh, they figured out we were together so they wanted to know when I realised I loved you." She explained, and Steve instantly relaxed. "Don't stop on my account. I want to hear this story too." He told her. "Ok, after we defeated Loki, Fury partnered us up. Then he saved my life and I knew I felt for him more than I friend. He then thought it would be a good idea to set me up with Bruce. I agreed cos I figured he wouldn't set me up with someone if he liked me. Anyway skip forward a couple of years and we just captured Ivan and then Bruce attacked me and he was in my hospital room and I told him I loved him and he said it back and yeah." She finished her face breaking out into the biggest of smiles. Wanda and Peter looked at each other before hugging Steve and Nat in turn. "Ok, story time's over. Boys be dears and face the door, Wanda could you please help me get changed." Wanda nodded as the boys headed to the door.

Once Natasha was changed she said, "You two probably haven't had much sleep considering the attack and then getting woken up like 2 hours later for another attack so go get some sleep. So do you guys want to go back to your rooms and get some sleep?" Wanda shook her head as Peter explained, "We know we aren't much help fighting bad guys well we love you like a mother and we want to try and help you." Nat's heart melted at Peter's statement and her eyes brimmed with tears. "Well if you guys don't mind staying in the same bed then you can use my room so you are close to Nat." Steve offered, both Wanda and Peter nodded eagerly, "Wait, before you go let me grab a change of clothes." He said and left. "I love you guys too," Natasha whispered, pulling them into a hug. Steve came back and Wanda and Peter charged out of the room. Steve went to the bathroom to change.

"Stay with me?" Nat asked jokingly, "Sure, the couch?" Natasha laughed and limped into bed. Steve followed her and she turned to face him. Reaching out she entwined her fingers in his hair as leaned forward and kissed her nose, then her lips. This time Natasha didn't break the kiss as he licked the seam of her lips. They broke apart, gasping for air; Steve whispered, "I love you Natasha."

"I love you Steve, goodnight." And with that, they fell asleep, Natasha curled in Steve's arms.


	17. Chapter 17

She was back in the hospital bed, surveying the scene around her. She was no longer safe in Steve's arms instead she was sitting alone in the hospital bed, Steve's body laying in place of the Red Room scout's. She stumbled of the bed and ran towards his body, and cradled his dead body. "Natasha?" She heard Tony asked. He ran forward, the rest of the Avengers in tow. It all happened so suddenly; they all got shot as she was left all alone on the hospital room. "No, no, no, no, no" She repeated over and over again through tears. "You don't deserve love Natalia. The amount of blood you have split is a very clear sign that you are a monster." Ivan said, before she was pulled from sleep.

* * *

Steve awoke and saw Natasha sobbing and thrashing around; he moved and knelt between her legs, holding her wrists down- careful of her injuries. He heard her muttering something, "I am a monster. I don't deserve Steve or Wanda or Peter."

"Natasha, wake up. Come on, wake up." He murmured, her eyes snapped awake and she wrapped her legs round is waist as he pulled her up to hug him. "You're ok. It was just a dream." He whispered in her ear, hoping she would calm down. When Nat felt that her breathing had gone back to normal she told Steve what had happened, "It was horrible." Natasha whispered, her emerald green eyes meeting his baby blue ones and she instantly felt safer. "I was back in the hospital and instead of the Red Room scout being dead and lying in the middle of the flour it was you." She choked out, "I heard Tony call my name and I he came running along with the others to look after me and I heard more gunshots. I looked up from your body and saw everyone around me lying dead. Then Ivan came out of the shadows and told me because of all the people I've killed I don't deserve love. It's not true is it?" She asked worriedly, hoping Steve would tell her it would all be fine, they never broke eye contact the whole way through Natasha explaining about had happened. "I love you Natasha. You are not a monster, you have been one and you never will be one. So please don't listen to anything your old torturer says to you- dream or reality." He told her, whilst Natasha nodded and fiddled with his hair. "What time is it?" She asked him, "No idea. I'll check." Checking his watch he told her, "7:28." Natasha didn't say anything but she nodded and tugged on the hem of his shirt. "What?" Steve asked confused. Natasha still didn't say anything but she leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, pulling away quickly, which made him pout. Natasha laughed before pulling the hem of his top closer to her and crashing their lips together. She let out a moan when Steve bit onto her bottom lip. She grumbled when she heard someone knocking at the door and broke the kiss. "Nat? You up?" They heard Clint call. Climbing of Steve and laying back in her bed she called, "It's open." Steve moved to sit on the edge of her bed just as Clint opened the door. "What do you want Barton?" Natasha asked grumpily. "You woke me up." Clint eyed Natasha and Steve suspiciously before asking, "Steve what are you still doing in Nat's room?"

"Umm, I… she, ummm." Steve stumbled. "I asked him to stay with me in case Red Room sent any more scouts." Natasha explained smoothly. "Right. Breakfast is being served." Clint informed them whilst backing out of the door. "Ok." Steve said, helping Natasha sit up. "Come on Steve. Carry me down to the dining hall." She begged. Steve nodded and scooped Natasha into his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "I love you but please be quick. I'm hungry." She teased, "Of course. I love you too." He told her, carrying her out of her room and to the common dining hall.

* * *

 **A/N- I'm starting to write a new fic that is post infinity war. It'll be called 'I lost him** **.' It should be posted by tomorrow.**


	18. Chapter 18

Steve lowered Natasha into her seat before going to the bar and getting breakfast for the two of them. "Wanda, Peter?" He asked, tipping them on the shoulder. "Yup." Peter asked, "Me and Nat want to keep our relationship secret so we can play some games with them- so please don't tell anyone. Ok?" Steve asked as Wanda grinned wickedly as Peter nodded. After Steve had filled up his and Nat's plates he walked back to the table. They all ate in comfortable silence until Tony asked the question Steve and Natasha were both dreading- "Ok, Capsicle why were you in Red's hospital room so late?" Natasha saw Wanda hide her grin under her coffee mug as she heard Steve answer Tony; "I was in her room so late because she asked me to look after her because she was a bit traumatised by what happened." He said swiftly. Natasha was very proud of Steve at how fast managed to think of a lie. "Ok another question." Tony said, "Are you still a virgin?" This question caused Steve to choke on his food and Natasha to blush slightly. "Yes. I am still a virgin, not that it's any of your business." Steve answered. "Ok, another question,"

"Seriously Stark? Stop with the questions." Steve snapped looking at Natasha and enjoying the fading blush on her cheeks. "What do you want to do for your birthday in a couple of months?"

"Um, I think I'll probably just spend it here. I dunno." Steve said matter-of-factly, "Come on Steve. It's not everyday you turn 100! Do something fun!" Natasha pleaded, her eyes growing wide. "Fine. Nothing to big but my birthday's not for 4 months." Steve mumbled giving in. "Ok, changing the subject slightly. Are you ok Lady Natasha?" Thor asked, smiling slightly Nat said, "Bit shaken up and bit terrified of running into Bruce again but other than that I'm ok." Out of the corner of her eye she saw Steve's eyes narrow, discreetly she placed a hand on his thigh and she instantly saw him relax.

"Wait why are you scared of seeing Bruce?" Clint asked, "He is the reason I was in the hospital. He got mad when I asked to see Wanda, Peter and Steve before him and then he hulked out and attacked me. If it weren't for Steve, Wanda and Peter I would probably be dead." She answered matter-of-factly. "Oh, I'm sorry" Tony said, he sounded genuinely sorry. "It's fine. You didn't know." Natasha answered. "Miss Romanoff?"

"Yes JARVIS?"

"You presence is requested in the hospital." The AI informed her. "Ok, thanks. Steve, help me up there?" She asked innocently, "Sure." He replied scooping her up and carrying her to the hospital.

* * *

Dr. Cho was waiting for them in the hospital, an angry look on her face. "What on Earth possessed you to leave your hospital room after you had just been attacked?" Dr. Cho fumed. "Oh right. Red Room sent a scout for Ivan and me. Steve killed him but then I didn't feel safe so he took me back to my room." She stated simply. "Did you not see the body and blood on the floor of her room?" Steve asked incredulously. "It must have been cleared away after you left." Cho answered "I don't believe you have gained anymore injuries from being carried everywhere." Cho said eyeing Steve as if she knew what was going on, "so you won't need anymore surgery but I'm going to give you a wheelchair to prevent any unnecessary injuries." She told them, looking straight at Steve who turned away guiltily. "Ok, thanks Cho." Natasha said before Steve helped her into the wheelchair and wheeled her to her room.

* * *

Once they were in the safety of her room, she turned to Steve and told him, "If you loose your virginity to anyone other than me I am going to murder you, understand?" Steve chuckled and helped Nat out of the wheelchair and into her bed. "If I know Tony I'm gonna be dragged to a strip club on my birthday." He told her, he kissed her forehead when she started to fume. "I promise you, I will give it to you when the time is right." He told her and sealed his promise with a kiss. "You better." She said, a smirk spreading on her face. Natasha stifled a yawn and leaned up to kiss him again. "You tired?" He said, breaking the kiss. "Just a bit."

"I'm not surprised you didn't sleep much last night. I'll stay and watch over you." Natasha nodded and placed her head on his lap, "Or you could place your head on my lap- keeping me as your prisoner." Steve added through a chuckle. "I like the second idea better. Now shut up so I can sleep." Natasha said grumpily. Steve laughed and kissed her forehead, before grabbing the nearest book to hand and starting to read.

* * *

 **A/N- The first chapter of 'I lost him' is online.**


	19. Chapter 19

It was a week before Steve's birthday and Tony had been dropping not so subtle hints about Steve's party and Natasha hated it. Natasha had never really been the jealous or possessive girlfriend but she had to admit that whenever Tony said something like, "Oh, Steve they just hired a beautiful girl you might like." Or, "Hey, when the party gets boring we are ditching to go to a club." Natasha felt the urge to punch Tony.

* * *

Natasha had had her casts removed 3 months ago and was now sitting on her bed reading when she heard a knock on the door, "Its open, come in" She called, hoping it was Steve, she really needed to talk to him.

"Hey baby. You look pissed, what's the matter?" He asked, sitting down next to her and pulling her onto his lap. "It's, I just hate Tony right now. I hate the fact her wants you to loose it to some slut!"

"I know baby, I know, but I have an idea of how to get him back." Steve told her, smiling at the intrigued look Natasha gave him. "I could pretend to get drunk and then like make-out with you or something?" He said half-heartedly, "Seriously? Is that the best you can do?" Natasha asked, a wicked grin spreading across her face. "Oh dear." Steve mumbled before earning an elbow in the stomach from his beautiful girlfriend. "Or either us, Peter or Wanda could suggest we play truth or dare, and we could have like clean questions or smutty questions like who here would you fuck, marry or kill. And we could have some really fun." She said mischievously. Steve laughed and bent down to kiss her when they heard a knock on the door.

Untangling themselves Natasha called, "Come in." A moment later they saw Tony eye them suspiciously. "What do you want Stark?" Natasha snapped, "I thought I would fid you here, but not fully clothed." He told them, with a wink at Natasha. "Again, what do you want?" Steve asked. "Well I just checked with JARVIS and he says you haven't been sleeping in your room for the past 3 and ½ months, so what's going on?" Tony asked, "Oh and he also says that Wanda and Peter have been sleeping there instead of you." Natasha looked to Steve and then back to Tony before saying, "I get these nightmares about Red Room and I usually wake Steve up cos I end up screaming or crying and we just thought it would be better if he sleeps with me so I don't do something I regret." Natasha said quickly, looking at Steve again to make sure he didn't give anything away. "Ok then. Oh and Steve are you looking forward to your birthday?" Tony asked, winking at Steve who blushed, "Yes."

"Ok, I'll leave you two in peace." And with that he was gone. "This is a bit off topic but are you ever gonna tell anyone?" Steve asked looking at her wrists. "I really want to, I do but I'm worried about how they will react. Anyways I like only having a select few people know." She said, wrapping he arms around his neck again. Turning his head he kissed each and everyone one of her scars on one arm and then turned his head and kissed her other arm. Natasha felt her eyes brim with tears, "What was that for?" Natasha asked, whilst blinking back tears. "You talk in your sleep, when you're not having nightmares. You say things like- 'I am a monster', 'I deserve to die.' And so on, I just wanted to remind you that you are not a monster, you are beautiful and strong and I love you so much. I will always be here for you." He told her, sealing his promise with a kiss. "I love you too Steve." She said, trying and failing to hold back tears. "I'm going to bed. You coming solider?" Natasha asked teasingly. "Sure." He murmured, crawling into their bed and lying down next to her. Wrapping his arms around her waist he kissed her nose before falling asleep, her safe in his arms.


	20. Chapter 20

Steve awoke to find Natasha curled into a ball at his side, sleeping calmly for once. He checked his phone, the time was 9:49 and his phone was bombarded with messages from the Avengers. "Nat, baby wake up." He whispered into her ears. "Mhmm, what?" Nat groaned, "I was sleeping peacefully for once."

"The rest of the Avengers want to know where we are and it's nearly ten"

"Fine." She walked to the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of red denim shorts and one of Steve's long sleeve tops. "Don't you think it will be a bit suspicious if you wear one of my tops to breakfast?" He asked, "True. I'll wear this instead." She said, pulling out a black and purple long sleeve top with a red spider on it.

When she was changed she felt arms snake around her waist, and Steve nibbled on her ear. Turning to face him she whispered, "Happy Birthday babe." Leaning forward she kissed him, breaking away she saw him pout. "Come on, let's go. I'm hungry and you get that tonight." She laughed.

10 minutes later both Avengers were seated whilst the rest of the dining hall sung him happy birthday. "Can we please get some breakfast? Like I know it's Steve's birthday but like a girls gotta eat!" She exclaimed, earning a nudge from Steve and an eye roll from Clint, "You are always hungry little red!" Tony told her whilst clapping his hands, loads of food appeared on the bar.

When everyone had his or her food Tony broke the comfortable silence by saying that Bruce was coming back from sabbatical today. Natasha tensed and felt her eyes water, Steve noticed this and discreetly placed a reassuring hand on her thigh she relaxed slightly.

"Nat you ok?" Clint asked. "Oh, yeah. Tony is he coming back here forever or is he leaving?" She asked whilst placing her hand over Steve's. "No, he's just coming back to get the rest of stuff and then he's gone." Tony told her, and saw her relax greatly. "Ok good. I can't face him again… seeing as…" She trailed off, eyeing her and Steve's hands.

"Seeing as what, Little Red?" Tony inquired, "TELL US!" He shouted, "Nope, hopefully you'll find out about him tonight." She teased, smirking. "Wait, you have a boyfriend?" Peter asked, clearly guessing the game she was playing, "Yes Peter. I have a boyfriend" Natasha saw Steve pretend to be downfallen, "What's wrong Capsicle? All your flirting hasn't paid off?" Tony asked, while Natasha smirked.

"Right changing the subject, reluctantly. If I haven't asked you to help set up for Steve's party then please leave." Tony declared, "I'm talking about Capsicle and Little Red. Also we are gonna play truth or dare at your party so be prepared." Steve nodded and got up to help Nat up. "Whoa solider, you still trying to flirt with me even though you know I'm taken?" She teased; Steve just waved her off and walked with her to her room.

"I don't know what to wear!" She called to Steve; who was hanging off her bed, admiring the view. "I'm sure whatever you wear will make you look beautiful." He told her, reaching for a book and opening it. "Oh don't worry! I have it!"

"I wasn't worrying anyway!" Steve laughed as a knife landed on the side of the bed next to him, "Where the fuck did you get a knife from your closet?" He called through laughs. "Never mind, none of your business." She called back to him. She emerged from the bathroom in a tight, low cut long-sleeved red crop top and a black denim skirt with fishnet tights. She walked over to her bed and lay next to Steve, their hands entwined. "Natasha? We need to talk, can I come in?" An all to familiar called, making Natasha tense and Steve grip her hand tighter. "Fine." Sitting up she pulled Steve up and they scooted a safer distance away from each other. "Hey Nat."

"Don't call me Nat, Banner." She told him, scowling. "Seriously Nat? That's a bit harsh" Bruce told her. "What do you want Banner, other than to come and have a fight with me and Steve again." She asked, sighing and looking towards Steve, who looked serious. "I want to apologise and ask are you seriously dating HIM?" He asked incredulously.

"First of; apology not accepted and two; I am dating, but I'm not dating Steve- our relationship is purely platonic. You have the information you came her for so can you please get your big, green accusatory ass out of my room?" She asked, sassily. Bruce scowled at her, "Happy Birthday Steve." He practically growled at him. "Bye Banner." Steve said, once he heard the door shut he whispered, "Forever!" Natasha laughed and moved lay down next to him, her head on his lap. "Don't move or you will wake for me. I'm going to sleep." Steve laughed, "Move, let me sleep next to you."

"Fine" Natasha grumbled and moved to curl into his already asleep side.


	21. Chapter 21

When Natasha awoke, still sobbing from her previous nightmare she found no trace of Steve. "Steve?" She cried, "STEVE? Where are you?" She screamed, hoping her nightmares was just that- a nightmare. She heard the lock click and Steve ran in. She jumped off the bed and ran to hug him. "Don't leave me ever again." She cried into his chest. "I promise Nat."

"Good. I can't loose you. You are the one that loves me for me and you're the love of my life." She whispered whilst choking back sobs. Scooping her into his arms, Steve carried a sobbing Natasha to her bed where sat resting against her pillows as she placed her head on his chest.

They stayed like this for a while until Natasha looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Hey, you looking forward to your birthday?" She asked him. "No not really. I hate the fact that you're 'dating' someone else." She laughed, "Well, when we play truth or dare we can have some fun." Looking up at him she smiled before getting of the bed and pulling him up with her. Natasha got up and moved to her makeup stand. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she added a smoky eye and almost black red lipstick.

"JARVIS how long till the party starts?" Cocking her head to the side she waited for him to answer. "Tony requires both of your presences." The AI told her. She laughed and thanked the AI. "You ready to go?"

"I will be in a minute." Leaning up she kissed his cheek, leaving a big red lipstick mark. "Seriously Nat?" He laughed and moved to the bathroom. Natasha put on her red and black heels. Steve emerged from the bathroom sans lipstick mark, "I'm gonna pay for that later aren't I?" She asked warily, "Yup." He said popping the 'p'. Natasha laughed before taking Steve's outstretched arm. They walked to the elevator in silence, arm in arm and her head resting on his shoulder.

 **A/N- Again sorry the chapters are so short, the next couple should get longer. I'm back at school right now so updating everyday may be a little harder. I will try as hard as I can to update everyday but it may turn to once every two days. This will be the same for my other story- I lost him.**


	22. Chapter 22

The elevator doors opened at they looked out into what used to be the dining room. Tony had changed to it resemble a club. The tables and chairs had disappeared to be replaced with a dance floor, a spare space on the floor- for games- and booths dotted around the room. The bar was still there but it was covered with more booze than Steve ever thought he'd seen. In the middle, standing higher than the rest a bottle that would defiantly get him drunk- Asgardian mead. "Oh shit, I'm screwed." He whispered to her, "Language." She laughed.

"Happy Birthday Steve!" Tony called, sounding drunk already. Natasha eyed him suspiciously until Wanda's voice floated through her head- _Yes, he is drunk already._ Natasha laughed before going to the bar and pouring some shots. When she came back she heard Tony say, "You are like 100 today, so get ready to get really, really, really drunk!" Steve looked guiltily to where Natasha was sitting taking shots with Thor and Clint. "Ok. Let's go get wasted!" Peter screamed and bolted to the bar. Natasha grabbed his wrist; "You get three drinks tonight ok?"

"Yes mum." Peter joked and sat next to her. Then a night of partying ensued.

"Right me, Steve and Thor are ditching. Let's go boys." Tony slurred, "Come on Steve!" At this point in the night Steve was pretty drunk but he didn't want to go to a club. "No, I'm staying here. It's my party anyways."

"Really Steve?" Tony asked in disbelief. "Yes." Steve answered, "Who wants to play truth or dare spin the bottle?" Steve shouted and everyone answered yes apart from Natasha. Steve walked over to Nat, leaving Tony by the bar. "Hey you ok?" He asked sitting down next to her, the Asgardian mead had worn off by now and he was a bit more sober. "I think I'm just gonna go back to bed, I'm a bit tired and I'm not feeling well." 

"Leaving so soon Little Red?" Tony asked, then with wiggle of his eyebrows, "You going to meet your secret boyfriend?" Natasha rolled her eyes and moved to get up but Steve grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "Steve let me go! I have a boyfriend!" She giggled, playfully swatting his hands away. "Not until you play a game of truth or dare with us."

"Fine."

"YAY!" Both Tony and Steve screamed like they were fangirling over her.


	23. Chapter 23

"Um truth." Wanda said with a slight hiccup. "Clean or smut?"

"Clean." She said stifling a yawn. "Okay what is something you do that you think others would judge you for?" Peter asked also stifling yawns. Wanda paused before answering, "I, sometimes, like when we're all hanging round lazily or we have a day off I sometimes wear Pietro's sweaters and jumpers cos I miss him…" Her voice trailed off and Natasha saw tears threaten to spill so she pulled Wanda into a hug and kissed the top of her forehead before adding; "No one here judges you Wanda. That's perfectly ok." She told her as she saw Wanda yawn. "Steve what time is it?"

"12:37."

"Ok, these two need sleep." She said looking at Peter who was no longer stifling yawns. She got up and the two youngsters followed her, when she got to the door she said to Clint, "Make sure these three stay right here. I'll be back shortly." Before following Peter and Wanda up to Steve's room.

"So Steve, truth or dare?" Tony asked a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Truth." Steve said, taking another swig of Asgardian mead. "Clean or. Who are we kidding? I'm asking you a smutty one whether you like it or not!" Tony exclaimed, rather loudly and Steve laughed. "Out of Natasha, Maria, Laura and Pepper who would you most want to loose your virginity to?" Tony asked with a smirk plastered all over his face. Steve looked up and saw Natasha leaning on the doorframe, a bemused smile plastered on her face as she nodded for him to answer. Steve didn't answer Tony's question instead he got up and walked over to Natasha, grabbing her hands he pulled her back to the circle. "Steve, how drunk are you?!" She exclaimed, sitting down next to him. "Doesn't really matter and to answer you question Stark; Natasha." Steve declared and Natasha blushed. Leaning over she whispered into his ear, "I'd love to take it." Steve laughed and put his arm around Natasha, who kissed him and snuggled into his side. "Wait Natasha I thought you have a boyfriend?" Thor asked confusedly. Natasha smiled, "I do."

"Who?" Tony asked the drinks had clearly taken their toll on his smartness. "Me you dumbass." Steve told him. Clint smiled at the couple. "Nat you haven't had a go so truth or dare?" Tony asked. "I really hate dares so truth." Steve looked at Tony silently saying nothing to rude. "Clean or smut?"

"Clean." She laughed. "What is something only Steve knows, that Clint doesn't even know?" Tony asked, clearly expecting a much more funny answer than the one he got. Upon hearing the question, Steve looked down at Natasha and then to her wrists questioningly. She nodded and pulled her sleeves up, tears blurring her gaze. 

"Natasha what are those?" Clint asked worriedly. Everyone then asked her a bunch of questions and she stayed snuggled into Steve's side, feeling the tears threaten to spill over. "Natasha what happens if you have children? What will you say to them when they ask about it?" Tony asked still very drunk.

Natasha felt the tears spill down her cheeks as she got up and ran from the room- surprisingly fast despite her shoe choice. "Fucking dumbass." Steve growled at Tony whilst eyeing the other Avengers. "What, everyone else was asking questions?" Tony said, he was still drunk but he knew he had made a big mistake. "She can't have children. Red Room made sure of that." He hissed before getting up and ran after Natasha, leaving 4 drunk, dumbstruck grown-ass adults.


	24. Chapter 24

Natasha ran through the halls, tears blurring her eyes. When she got to her room she kicked off her heels, ran to her bed and screamed into her pillow. _What if Steve wants children? I can't give him that. I can't give him a proper family._ She thought to herself and if even possible even more tears flowed down her face, ruining her makeup but she didn't care. "Nat?" She heard Peter calling her. _Shit. I must've woken them up._ "Can we come in?" That was Wanda.

Natasha didn't answer; instead she got up and unlocked her door. They both ran in and hugged her; she kissed the tops of their heads and ushered them to sit down. She turned and shut the door before walking back to the bed and flopping down next to Wanda.

"What happened?" Wanda asked, reaching for Natasha's hand. "We were playing truth or dare and Tony asked me to tell them something only Steve knew and I showed them my scars. They asked me a bunch of questions." She paused and took a deep breath.

"Then Tony asked me how I would explain that to my future children." She choked out, "I'm sorry Nat but why is that so bad?" Peter asked, "I can't have children." She began to cry again while Wanda squeezed her hand and Peter hugged her.

"Nat? Are you ok?" They heard Steve call through the door. Natasha smiled sadly before going to open the door. She was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, she let out a shaky breath, "I'm ok. Come on we have company." Looking over to where Peter and Wanda sat, both looking very uncomfortable. "Um we should go get some sleep." Peter mumbled, Natasha let out a shaky laugh before each ran up to her and gave her a hug, "Ok, I'll see you guys tomorrow." She kissed their heads and they ran out of her room into Steve's.

"Listen, I can't give you what you want. I understand if you want to end it, I won't hold any grudges. Seeing as I have a mental illness and I can't have children. So I understand." She finished, crying she walked away from Steve and towards the open window.

Steve was utterly confused, he didn't understand why Natasha wanted to break it off with him, so she couldn't have a family, so what? He loved her for who she was, not what she could give him. As silently as he could he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, making her jump slightly.

"I'm gonna say what I said to you in the hospital that night- I'm not going anywhere and neither are you." He whispered into her ear, nibbling on it lightly. She turned to him, her face conflicted, "But I can't give you what you want- a family." She murmured a tear rolling down here cheek.

Steve saw the tear and bent down to kiss it away. Natasha smiled at the gesture, "I want a family- yes- but I want you more. Also I don't know how I would be Captain America and a father. I love you so fucking much and it breaks my heat to see you upset." He told her, kissing away the rest of the tears she let fall. "Language." She teased, smiling. "I love you too Steve Rogers." She told him earnestly, wrapping her arms around his neck for emphasis. Steve leaned down and kissed her, he titled her chin back and deepened the kiss.


	25. Chapter 25

Natasha's eyes fluttered open as a cold wind blew through the open window. Looking around she found Steve's shirt, putting it on she walked over the window and shut it. Quietly so as not to wake Steve, he looked so peaceful when he slept. She walked back to bed and climbed in next to him, kissing his forehead she curled into half a ball, her head on his chest. Steve stirred for long enough to wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her nose.

"Because I'm the one that was cold so I got up and put a shirt on." She teased.

"But it's my shirt." Steve whined. "Give it back."

"You will have to take it." She challenged.

"You are gonna regret that Romanoff, I always win!" He laughed whilst chasing her around. He caught her whilst she was on the bed, picking her up and spinning her around. "Ok, ok." She said between laughs and giggles, "You can have it back." She pulled the top over her head and handed it to Steve. She jumped off the bed and walked to her wardrobe. Pulling out black denim shorts and a red short-sleeved crop top, she smiled to herself. "Pass me a pair of jeans and a top, please babe?" Steve asked, "Sure." She chucked him his clothes and moved around her room, picking up the discarded clothes around her room she threw them in the hamper.

"You ready to see Tony?" Steve asked, "Yeah, and now I can wear short sleeves around the tower cos my secrets out." She said a bit to forcefully, Steve cocked his head to the side, one eyebrow raised- sensing she wasn't telling the truth. "Ok no. I know it's not his fault and all but it still hurt. I feel guilty about not being able to give you a family and he just… I dunno…" Her voice trailed off as Steve pulled her over to sit next to him on the bed. "I know baby I know. Don't feel guilty; it's not your fault. If you want to blame anyone blame the dicks at Red Room." He told her kissing the top of her head. "Ok, enough of the melancholy bullshit. Let's go get breakfast I'm hungry." She said more cheerfully, she took his hand and pulled him up, together they walked to the elevator and didn't drop their entwined hands as they entered the dining hall.

Everything went silent as the entered, everyone turning to look at their hands and some looked at Natasha's wrists. Neither seemed to notice or care. Natasha looked around and saw many, many people looking jealously at her, as they walked over to their usual table she heard snippets of conversation, "She doesn't deserve him." And "I bet she seduced him and is still working for the enemy." And, "I don't think she even likes him, I think she just wants to get in his pants." Natasha tried her hardest to ignore the comments being made about her, "Ignore them babe. They are just jealous that I chose the most beautiful girl in the world to date and not just some random girl." Natasha couldn't help but smile at this and she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. 

They sat down and Steve went to get them some food. "Hey, red?" Tony asked sheepishly. "Yes Stark?"

"I want to apologise about last night, I didn't know and I wouldn't have said anything if I did. I just didn't know how to process that fact that one of my friends self harms." Tony told her and she reached out and grabbed his hands reassuringly. "It's fine, really Tony I'm ok." She reassured him. "Stark, what are you doing with me girlfriend?" Steve asked, sitting next to Natasha. "Oh nothing really we were just planning on when to run away." Tony joked, "Now, now, now, what would your dear Pepper say to that then?"

"Oh dear lord please don't tell her." He begged jokingly. Natasha laughed, as Tony and Steve continued their banter. For a short second everything was normal, they were no longer super-hero's who fought to save the world, they were a group of friends eating together. Tony and Steve bantering, Natasha looking on her gaze trained on Steve, Thor demanding more coffee, Clint eating and Peter and Wanda looking on absolutely confused but happy nonetheless; for a second they were a family.

"Mum, my head hurts." Wanda blurted out before she had time to thing of what she was saying. Natasha choked on her food, "Pardon?" She sputtered, "I'm sorry, it's just you are like a mother to me and, well, I won't call you that again."

"No, it's fine honey. As for the head you are probably a bit hung-over from last night." Getting up she asked, "Anyone else need any painkillers? Before I leave?" Everyone said yes and she laughed before leaving the dining room.


	26. Chapter 26

Natasha ran to the bathroom and vomited, seriously what was wrong with her? She had been throwing up for the past couple of days. She flushed the chain and crawled back to bed. Then a thought hit her, it was most defiantly not possible but it was worth a try. She got out of bed again and pulled on some more acceptable clothes. "Hey baby, where are you going?" Steve asked groggily, "Just down to medical. Not feeling well." She whispered, "Be back soon." Turning on her heel she shut the door and ran down to medical.

"You can look now Natasha." Cho told her, gently. Natasha picked up the plastic stick and saw a blue cross. "No, that can't be right. I can't be, I mean, Red Room." Her voice trailed off as her eyes started to water. "Have you experienced the need to throw up in the past couple of days?"

"Oh My God, I'm pregnant. I need to tell Steve. Can we keep this between us for now?" She asked, "Yes of course but first I would like to do an ultrasound." Cho said and Natasha nodded. She lay down on the gurney, pushed her sweatpants down a bit and her top up. On the screen she could she a bunch of grey, black and white lines and a little nub. "That is your baby Natasha." Natasha looked at Dr. Cho and then back to the screen again, "Would you like a picture to show to Steve?" Natasha nodded eagerly, after she was given two photos her baby's heart beat filled the room. Natasha felt tears on her cheeks. "Right, you're done." Dr. Cho said and Natasha jumped off the gurney, "Thank you." She said before running back up to her room.

"Steve?" Nat called as she opened the door to their room. "In the bathroom. I'll be out in a sec." He told her, walking over to the bed she sat down and tried not to fiddle with the edge of the photo she was holding. "Ok, on a scale of 1-10 how much do you want a family?" She asked, practically bouncing on the bed with excitement. "Natasha we have talked about this…" His voice trailed off when she handed him the photo. "Nat, what is this?" He asked, although she had a suspicion he already knew. "An ultrasound."

"Of what?" Again she thought he already knew and just wanted to hear it from her. "I'm pregnant." She stated simply. Steve burst out in one of the cutest smiles she ever thought she'd seen and pulled her off the bed and spun her around. She giggled as he set her down, "Seriously?" He asked, she nodded and saw tears roll down his face. "You're gonna be a father." She said through tears, "But how? I thought Red Room." He stopped when she kissed him. "It doesn't matter, what matters is that I'm pregnant, you're gonna be a father and I love you." She said, wiping away both of their tears.

They heard a knock on the door and Nat called "come in." Peter and Wanda walked in, "We heard shrieks, are you guys ok?" Wanda asked worriedly, eyeing the happy couple. "I'm pregnant." She said, her voice breaking again. "Oh ok." Wanda said, her voice bare of any emotion. "Wanda, honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just nothing." Wanda said, turning to leave. "Wanda, tell me what's wrong. Come on you can trust us." She added when Wanda shook her head. "It's just your pregnant. You will have the baby and loose interest in us." Wanda said, her voice breaking slightly. "Wanda, why would we loose interest in you? We have a baby, so what? What does that change?" Steve asked, confusedly. "We love you so much. We would never forget you. EVER." Natasha added. Wanda and Peter walked over to them and hugged them. Together they walked to the dining hall, after Natasha declared she was hungry.

At breakfast Fury approached them and told them he had an undercover mission for Steve and Natasha. "Ok, Fury but nothing to strenuous." Natasha agreed, "Why not Romanoff? You always seem up for a good fight." Fury asked, and Natasha smiled at Steve. "Oh yeah um I'm pregnant, I don't want to hurt the little baby." She said simply- like it was no big deal. Fury congratulated them and handed her the case file.

"Congratulations Steve, you are no longer a virgin! I'm so proud!" Steve laughed and Natasha shook her head, "Oh yeah and congrats Little Red." He said- pretending she was an after thought. "Wait, Tony. What are you talking about? I thought you knew it was yours." She joked and burst out laughing at the horrified look on Tony's face, "I thought we used protection!" At this it was Steve's turn to laugh, he kissed Natasha and smiled. "Congratulations! If you don't mind me asking, who are the Godparents?" Clint asked whilst hugging Natasha. "I haven't spoken to Steve about this but I was think Wanda, Peter and you Clint." She told him, "Really?" Peter and Wanda looked surprised, Natasha looked at Steve before he said, "Really." Wanda looked overjoyed.

Natasha finished eating and yawned, "I swear to God you are always tired." Steve joked. "She'll be even more tired now that she's pregnant. Laura was like that." Clint told him. "Right, I'm going to bed and before you say anything Stark yes I know I've just eaten but I'm tired." Steve laughed and kissed her before she left.

She had just given birth to her son- James- and now she was being held at gunpoint so did Steve. "Give him to us or die!" Ivan declared. "No, please no! He's my son! No." Steve begged, grasping Natasha's hand. "No take me instead. I'm who you truly want, please leave my boys out of this." Natasha begged, "Since you are both so desperate I will leave you alone." Natasha breathed a sigh of relief but then she saw blood gushing from his wound and Steve had slumped down on the floor next to her. "James, Steve!" She shrieked. "You are all on your own now Natalia, enjoy death." Ivan said before disappearing.

 **A/N- so this chapter was a bit longer than the others but I had to fit so much into this chapter. I'm sorry for the ending and I promise the next chapter will be happier and won't be as sad.**


	27. Chapter 27

Natasha jolted awake. She was drenched in sweat. "Steve?" She called out, her eyes watery. "Steve she screamed, "No, no, no, where is he?" She whispered to herself, "JARVIS, please find Captain Rogers and send him up to my room." She asked the AI. Meanwhile she curled up and started to cry. _I can't have this baby. Red Room will come and try to hurt him and me and Steve. He can't stay with me; I can't allow him or my baby to get hurt._ Natasha thought, left alone with her thoughts she felt all the feelings that had been building up since Ivan and Bruce burst out, she screamed into her pillow. Steve wasn't there to comfort her and she needed him right now. _Steve needs to leave me. I need to break it off with him before we both get hurt. When I have the baby I can come back to Avengers tower and give him to Steve and then I can leave again. He doesn't deserve me. I all I can offer him is pain and hurt, I can't do that to him. I love him. He needs to stay at Avengers tower and I need to leave._

To long after she heard a noise at the door. She didn't look up; instead she curled into an even tighter ball. She felt Steve lift her up and hug her. She looked up at him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. "Nat, what are you sorry for?" Pressing a kiss to her head he hugged her tighter. "I'm sorry, cos what I'm about to say will truly break your heart." She whispered, struggling out of Steve's embrace she walked over and sat in front of her make-up desk.

"Nat, what do you mean?"

"I mean, I need to leave; both Avengers tower and you. When I've had the baby I'll come back and give him/her to you and then I'll disappear. I'm sorry." She choked out the last words, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"Nat, have you ever thought I would rather be with you and be in more danger than be without you and be 'safer'?" He asked gently, coming up behind her he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not leaving you, ever. Even if that means I have to follow you everywhere." He told her.

Natasha turned and looked at him, "You always do stuff you're meant to, for now can't you carry on with that and just leave, it's the right thing for both you and me."

"Yeah…no, that's never gonna happen. Because for once, I'm gonna do what I want. I want to be with you, I don't care how many times you tell me to leave, I'm not going." He whispered in her ear. He saw more tears fall down her face Steve wiped them away.

"Are you serious? You aren't going to leave me?" She asked in disbelief. "Yes! How many times do I have to tell you that?" Natasha laughed and flung her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Breaking apart, he cupped her face and kissed her deeply. "I love you Steve." She said between kisses, "I love you too Nat." Steve said into the kiss.


	28. Chapter 28

"Nat. Come on wake up. Fury needs us." Steve whispered, feeling bad he was waking her from her peaceful sleep. "Mhmm, 5 more minutes." She grumbled. "Natasha we have a briefing. Come on." Steve sighed and placed feather light kisses on her face and trailed them down to her neck. "Right, I'm going to go and tell Fury you can't do the mission. I'm sure he'll understand. Bye babe." He told her, kissing her softly before leaving.

Natasha heard the door shut and looked around, her eyes slowly adjusting to the light. She felt nausea over take her and she charged to the bathroom. She flushed the chain and decided to have a bath. She drew herself a bath and got in. She lay there for what felt like forever and only got out when she felt the bath water go cold. She went and changed into a summer dress and walked down into the dining hall. She saw that only Sharon and Kirsten where the only ones in the dining hall and groaned. She ignored them and walked to get some ice cream, what? She was hungry! And walked back to the door.

"Hey! Romanoff do you want to join us?" She heard Kirsten call she turned to face them. "Um, no thanks." She said harshly, "Are you sure? I mean all the Avengers have gone out for some mission and you have to stay here, that must hurt." Sharon said with a smug smile. "Um, I just want to watch some movies and eat ice cream so no thanks." She told them and turned and began to walk away. "Wait! Why are you eating ice cream at 7 in the morning?"

"Ummm, because I wanted ice cream? And anyways it's none of your business." She told them and walked away, hoping that the baggy shirt she was wearing didn't show her barely there bump. "Oh, Natasha. You do realise that when Steve finds out your eating ice cream for breakfast he'll find you unhealthy and probably leave you." Sharon whispered loud enough for Natasha to hear. Natasha whirled around at Sharon and shouted, "I believe it is none of your business when I eat certain foods, whether Steve will leave me or not and how I feel when I've been left out of missions!" And walked away.

She walked over to the hangar and leaned against the doorframe waiting for them to leave the briefing and into the jet. She found an upturned crate and sat on it, and eating the ice cream. About half an hour passed and she saw all the Avengers charging to the jet. "Have fun!" She called and Tony gave her a thumbs up and she laughed. Steve veered away and ran towards her. He hugged her and kissed her before she shoved him away, "Go kill Hydra!" He laughed and ran towards the jet. She watched them all run off and board the jet. Natasha watched it fly off and she sighed. _Great, a day where I might run into Sharon or Kirsten at any time!_

She walked into the common room and flopped down on the sofa. She asked JARVIS play the Star Wars and that's how she spent her first real day off- watching the first three Star Wars' and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

She sat and watched two of the four movies before she got hungry again and ordered two pizza's and a salad, she was about to get off the sofa to get the pizza when Sharon and Kirsten came up with the pizza and salad, smug smirks on their faces.

"Oh, poor Natasha. Is today your cheat day? Cos Steve's not here?" Sharon asked. Natasha smiled slightly- knowing that Sharon was lusting after Steve, and didn't know Nat was pregnant with his baby.

"Oh, I would love to tell Steve that his girlfriend is a fake!" Kirsten exclaimed happily again Natasha smiled- happy she knew something that those two busybodies didn't know. "Have you come here to talk about my eating habits or are you going to give me my food." Just as the words left her mouth she nausea wash over her at smell of the pepperoni on the pizza.

She charged up off the sofa and ran towards the nearest bathroom and locked the door. She knelt down next to the toilet and regurgitated her ice cream breakfast. She felt horrible as she washed out her mouth and walked slowly back to the common room, where Sharon and Kirsten were sitting on the sofa eating her pizza and salad.

"Get off the sofa. I need to sit down and get rid off the pizza. Also since your eating it then you both owe me $6." She asked forcefully and glared at them. 

"Oh, Natasha, has your extremely disgusting breakfast caught up with you?" Sharon asked with a smirk. "No, the pepperoni stenches made me feel sick." She stated matter-of-factly. "Anyways it's none of your business, so I'd get off the sofa before I do something I won't really regret but will definitely hurt the both of you." She added with a glare, successfully scaring them enough that they left with the pizza. She sat back on the sofa and watched Return of the Jedi and Harry Potter whilst eating the salad. She was about to watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when JARVIS alerted her that she was needed urgently in the hospital.

She burst through the doors into the waiting room and saw all the Avengers mucky and grubby in the waiting room. Wanda turned and looked at her, her eyes puffy and blood shot. Natasha scanned the room and saw no trace of Steve. She looked at Tony who looked towards the OR and back to Natasha.

She felt her eyes brim with tears as Thor lowered her down into the seat. "What happened?" She asked through tears, "HYDRA." Peter told her and Natasha screamed into her hands. She felt Thor hug her and Tony rub her back as she sobbed into Thor's shoulder.


	29. Chapter 29

She didn't remember when someone brought her up to her room but he first thought- after the morning sickness- was Steve. She didn't even know what had happened yesterday during the mission, all she knew was that had been in the OR. She shot out of bed, changed and ran to the waiting room. She skidded to a halt and Tony was the only one still there.

"Where is he?" She panted, scanning the room. "In his room. He isn't allowed visitors at the moment so Cho will get us when he can have visitors." Tony explained. "Have you eaten?"

Natasha shook her head, "No. I woke up like 5 minutes ago and I literally ran down here after I woke up." Natasha told him, "What?" She asked, seeing Tony's disappointed expression.

"Nat, you're pregnant. You need to eat."

"But, Steve."

"No, come with me. You need you need to eat. Come on, we'll get some food and then come back here." Natasha sighed and finally agreed after some persuasion. "Fine, but we are coming straight back here after." 

"Ok." Tony said and together they walked up to kitchen. Tony made Natasha porridge with strawberries and they ate at the island together. "Tony, what happened yesterday?" She saw Tony swallow.

"Ok, so as you know our mission was to attack and kill a HYDRA cell. We had finished, everyone had been killed and we Wanda was getting in Intel and one person that we thought was dead set off a bomb and the walls started to crumble and break around her. Peter and Steve noticed this and told us to get to the jet and him and Peter would go and get Wanda and get back." Tony paused and rubbed and hand over Natasha's. "We agreed and they ran off to get Wanda. We waited for ten minutes and then only Peter and Wanda came back. They told us the ceiling came down and Steve got trapped under it. I told them to get in the jet and I ran out and found him- turns out he was shot twice and didn't get badly hurt by the rumble. I pulled him out and took him to the jet where we did basic medical care and then got him to the OR. And you know the rest." Tony finished and hugged Natasha who had tears in her eyes.

"Come on, I want to see him." Natasha said, her voice wavering slightly. Tony nodded and they walked back down to the hospital. When they got to the waiting room they were told he already had a visitor and only one more person was allowed to see him. "Tony, do you want to see him first? I want to see him alone." Natasha explained and Tony nodded. "I'll try and get whoever it is out the room, if not I'll come back and tell you who it is." Natasha nodded and lowered herself into a chair.

A few minutes later Tony came back in looking pale. "Err, Nat?"

"Yes?"

"His visitor, um, won't leave." Tony explained, looking terrified. "Tony, who is it?" Natasha asked sternly- which didn't really scare Tony as her eyes were gleaming with tears. Tony swallowed, "Sharon." He whispered. Natasha shot up and charged past Tony into the waiting room.

She stopped at the door and saw Sharon sitting on the chair nearest Steve and she was holding his hand. "Sharon? What the hell?" She asked at first trying to stay calm but failing spectacularly. "Oh, I came down here and saw that no one was in his room so I came and kept him company. It's a shame really- his own girlfriend couldn't be bothered to come and see him. It's surprising how he hasn't broken up with you yet." Sharon said smoothly. Natasha felt her eyes water, "Trust me, I have told him to end it with me cos he will get hurt." Natasha took a shaky breath before continuing, "But the stubborn idiot won't leave cos." She was cut off when she saw Steve yank his hand away from Sharon- wincing at the pain- and finish her sentence, "Cos I love her too much."

Natasha smiled smugly and sat in the seat Sharon had shot up from. She took Steve's hand and kissed it gently and he smiled up at her. "You are making a big mistake Steve. She will leave when she gets bored!" Sharon screeched.

"No I won't. Why would I leave Steve when I love him and I'm pregnant with his baby." Natasha said simply and smiled smugly when she understood the words Natasha had spoken.

"Wait, how?" Sharon asked in disbelief. "Sharon, do really not know how children are made?" Steve asked laughingly and Natasha smiled.

"I know that! I just mean why her?"

"Um, cos I love her and she loves me." Natasha laughed at Sharon who turned and ran from the room, muttering something about how everyone would know 'the truth'. Steve looked up at Natasha who was smiling smugly. "You ok?"

"You are seriously asking me if I'M ok? You got shot twice and are in a hospital bed connected to more medical tubes and wires than I think Tony has in his suit." She told him and he laughed. "Yeah, like I heard you had to spend the whole day with Sharon and Kristen I believe."

"It's Kirsten but yes, I'm ok. Apart from the fact that I have been worried sick about you since I was told you were here. I'm so so sorry I wasn't here as soon as I woke up. I ran down here as soon as I woke up and then Tony made me eat breakfast. So again I'm sorry you had to wake up with Sharon on this chair and not me." She blurted out, tears spilling down her eyes. Steve didn't understand why she was crying and neither did she.

"Hey." He said, brushing his hand along here cheek, "It's not your fault. I know you would have been here if you could have and I am slightly annoyed that Sharon thought she could waltz in here and play my girlfriend. But it's fine; you need to eat to keep up both your and our little baby's health and strength." He told her and she nodded gently. Steve moved his hand away from her face and trailed it down to her stomach. She moved her down and placed her hand over his own. This time it was Steve's turn to tear up. Natasha laughed at this and smiled down at him. "Why are you laughing at me? It's not my fault I am happy my beautiful girlfriend is pregnant with my baby." He asked. "Yes you are allowed to be happy."

"Good. I now it's a little early since we don't even know the sex of out little baby but I have been thinking about great names for out little baby." Steve told her, "Ok, tell me them."

"Ok, for a girl Hannah and for a boy Alex." He told her and Natasha nodded although looked like she had better ideas. "Ok, I like both of those but could I say mine?"

"Sure."

"Ok for a girl Violet and for a boy James." She said and saw Steve's whole face light up. "So I'm gonna guess you like the idea of calling our little baby James- if he is a boy." Steve nodded eagerly and Natasha smiled. "I love you Steve, but I'm really, really hungry." She said, silently asking his permission to leave and get some food. "Go get some food. I can't go anywhere." Steve told her with a laugh. "On the way out I'll ask Cho not to let anyone in unless they are the Avengers." She told him, kissed him and ran out the room- in search of sandwiches.

Natasha walked into the dining hall and saw even more female agents there than she thought she had ever seen. Seriously, like why were there some many of them? Like was Tony just hiring them for no reason? Natasha ignored them and walked towards the fridge and found a plate of chicken and lettuce sandwiches. She pulled the platter out of the fridge along with a can of Coke. Natasha turned and saw that everyone was staring at her.

"Yes?..." Natasha said drawing out her question. "How come he slept with you and not me? I'm not some broken assassin who can't control their feelings I am perfect unlike you. So why you?" Kirsten asked jealously. "Because Steve has really good taste in women?" A new voice said and Natasha look up to see Wanda walking into the dining hall, she came up to stand next to Natasha and gripped her hand. "Any more questions?" Natasha scanned the room and saw no sign of Sharon; clearly she hadn't spread the rumour this far yet. "Yeah, how did you seduce him? I want to know and see if it can work for myself." Christine Everhaart asked- _seriously what was she doing here? I thought she liked Tony?_ Natasha thought to herself. She was brought back to reality when she heard Wanda laugh at Christine's question. "Do you really wanna know?" She asked and all the girls nodded eagerly, "Ok, but it's a secret. First what you have to do is…" She paused for dramatic effect before continuing, "be yourself, getting attacked by your now ex-boyfriend. Make your current boyfriend be your human pillow, break up with your ex, then confess your love for him. Then keep your relationship secret until his birthday, pretend you are dating someone else and then sleep with him. Then get pregnant with his baby."

When Natasha had finished her little explanation she walked away smugly.

 **A/N- OK, I am struggling on ideas for my other story so I will update that every Monday. Thank you to SswolfsS for pointing out a mistake in this chapter, I have updated it.**


	30. Chapter 30

Natasha spent the rest of the day in Steve's hospital room, sitting next to him as he slept and mulling over what she told the female agents. _Shit! I made it seem like I am still the enemy! Shit, shit, shit!_ She thought.

Eventually his eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him brightly. "Hey, how are you?" She asked whilst handing him a glass of water. "My chest hurts but I think I'm healing. Are you ok?" Steve smiled up at her and she nodded. "Remember I can tell if you're lying. What happened?"

"Nothing, apart from we have some many female agents here today and they cornered me in the dining hall and asked me how I got you to sleep with me. I told them in a way that makes them think I am still working with the enemy so yay!" Steve took her hand and squeezed it, "Let them think," She told her, "Let them think whatever they want, the important thing is that we know the truth and that's all that matters."

"I know but still, I don't want any unnecessary gossip about us. Also Sharon will spin some lie and who are people most likely to listen to; the broken assassin turned SHIELD agent or the perfect blonde?" Natasha asked bitterly and blinked tears away furiously.

"Well, they'll listen to whoever they want to be does it matter? I mean we know the truth, ok? All you need to worry about is yours and our baby's health. I love you and out baby." He told her, and placed their entwined hands on her growing bump. Natasha smiled at him.

They heard a cough at the door and saw Kirsten and two other female agents the couple had never seen before, "Yes?" Steve asked annoyed, they had broken the perfect moment between them. "I should go." Natasha said, straightening up and walking towards the door. She looked round at Steve, "Nat, come back. I'm sure whatever they want to say they can say to the both of us." He called after her disappearing figure, he sighed when she didn't turn around but he knew she could hear whatever was said.

"Kirsten what do you want?"

"Me, Violet and Sammy want to tell you the truth about your 'girlfriend'." Kirsten said, putting quotations around the last word. "Ok…" Steve was worried, not for his sake but for Nat's; he didn't want to hear this and relapsing, he'd just got her to stop self-harming and he didn't want her relapsing.

"Ok, we did some digging and found out loads of stuff. We think she's still working for the KGB and Red Room since she miraculously acquired feelings for you overnight." Kirsten said proudly. Steve laughed at how stupid they were beginning. He looked around and saw a flash of red and smiled, she was still listening to what was being said.

"I'd be careful what I say if I were you. Nat's a damn good SHIELD agent and she can hear whatever is being said, so be careful." He warned and saw her head pop round the door and she winked at him before coming up and standing behind the three agents.

"Carry on guys. I think you're on to something." He said with a glance at Natasha who had her hand over her mouth and was trying not to laugh. "Natasha is also 'pregnant' with your baby. How can you be sure it's not just a joke so she can get you alone and then hurt you? How can you be sure?" Sammy asked, Natasha opened her mouth to reply but Steve shook his head lightly, _they could scare them a bit more._ He thought. Natasha gave him a whiny look and he smiled but shook his head anyway.

"Ok, we also think…" Violet was cut off when Natasha started speaking, "I think you three need to get off my back and stop researching me." She said calmly but it made the three agents jump out of their skin. "Steve, don't you see what we're talking about? She crept up on us and listened in on what we're talking about." Violet exclaimed, still shaking slightly.

"Nat, come here." Steve said and she pushed her way forward to sit next to her. "You ok?"

"Yeah." She said forcefully, eyeing the agents. Sammy looked a tad apologetic but the other two probably couldn't give a shit. "Are you guys just gonna stand there and listen in on out conversations or are you gonna leave?" Natasha snapped and glared at them.

"Fine, we'll go but listen and think about what we said Steve!" Kirsten said whilst walking out the door. Natasha sighed and flopped down on the chair next to his bed. "Nat, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Tell me."

"Fine, I don't like the fact that people keep trying to break us up. It's none of their business what we do but it still hurts." She confessed and smiled sadly. "Nat, come here." He moved over so she could slip into the bed next to him. She shook her head and leaned forward to check his wounds, "I don't want to hurt you."

"They've healed, you could never hurt me anyway." Steve told her and she kissed him. "Ok, but are you sure I won't hurt you?" 

"Yes, come on." Natasha smiled and slipped in the bed next to him. She turned to face him, "Are you ok?"

"Yes. Although I think it is hilarious how people keep wanting to break us up!" Steve exclaimed which made Natasha laugh. "Ok, let's sleep. It's like 10:30 and i'm tired!"

"Ok. Love you Nat."

"Love you too Steve. Night." She said sleepily. She felt Steve press a kiss to her bare shoulder and she melted into his touch. Steve nuzzled his face into her hair and drifted off to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Natasha stirred some 5 hours later and she felt Steve sigh into her neck. She relaxed back into his embrace and settled back down to sleep. She was about 4 months along in her pregnancy and she felt a small fluttering in her stomach- her baby. Her baby was kicking slightly, she smiled widely and realised it was only 3 in the morning. She really wanted to wake Steve but since he was shot only two days ago she thought he needed rest.

She shut her eyes and relaxed at the feeling of Steve's breath on her neck and her baby moving inside her. She drifted back to sleep.

Steve awoke and hugged Natasha- who was still asleep. "Nat, babe, wake up." He whispered in her ear, he felt Natasha grin into his shoulder but she stayed 'asleep'. "Nat, come on. I know you're awake." He whispered again. Natasha grumbled and groaned as Steve peppered kisses to her face. "Honestly. You are terrible." She grumbled and leaned forward to kiss him. "I know. Mornin'"

"Morning to you too. I'm gonna go have a shower and then I'll be back." She kissed him again and slipped out of the bed. "I'll tell Cho not to allow any of the agents in, only Avengers." She told him and walked off down the hallway. She bumped into Cho on the way to her and Steve's rooms, "Hey, Cho?" 

"Yes?" 

"Could you only let the Avengers into see Steve's room please? Yesterday Kirsten, Violet and Sammy barged in and accused me of a bunch of bullshit." She explained when Cho looked confused. "Of course. Talk to Tony and he'll have them fired."

"Thanks Cho."

"Also you need an ultrasound in the next couple of days." Cho told her. Natasha nodded and walked off towards her room. She showered and then walked down to the kitchen where there were just as many female agents as the past few days. "Jesus Christ!" She muttered and pulled her hoodie down over her face so she wasn't easily recognized. She walked over to the cupboard and pulled out some cereal. She poured herself some and settled down with her back to the agents.

She ate in a hurry and charged up to one of Tony's many, many rooms. "Tony?" She called and found Pepper but no sign of Tony. "Pep, do you know why we have so many female agents this week?" She asked her friend who was lounging on the sofa watching Gilmore Girls. Pepper didn't answer but Natasha sat down next to her and saw a conflicted look on her face.

"Pep?"

"Yeah. I know he hired loads and they're kinda taking up our space but is that a problem?" Pepper asked, finally turning away from the TV. "Yeah. They are all jealous I'm dating Steve and they keep trying to break us up. So Violet, Sammy and Kirsten came into Steve's room and then accused me of still working with the enemy. Then Sharon was in his hospital room when I came down yesterday and she started saying stuff like it was a mistake to date me." She paused and tried to gage Pepper's reaction. "God, Nat- that's horrible! Are you ok?" Pepper asked, taking her friends hand and squeezing it tightly.

"Yeah, we're ok. But what I'm worried about is that they'll sell out information for money, like the fact I'm dating Captain fucking America and I'm pregnant." Pepper's face widen in surprise, "What?!" She screeched and Natasha laughed. "Oops! I forgot to tell you! I'm about 4 months along."

"Oh my god! Natasha! That's amazing! You better let me plan a baby shower or I won't talk to you again!" She exclaimed, "Ok, you can plan the baby shower but Tony can't help plan, he'll do something stupid." Natasha agreed, "Pep, can you fire the female agents, cos I really don't feel comfortable with them here."

"Sure. I'll arrange that. I'll also tell them if they tell the press anything about what happened at the tower I will take them to court and sue them." And by the look on Pepper's face Natasha knew she wasn't joking. "Ok, thanks Pep." Natasha hugged her friend before walking back down to the hospital.

Steve wasn't blind, he knew there were so many agents waiting outside his door. He groaned and checked his wounds- all healed. He got up and pulled on some tracksuit bottoms and a top. Walking up to the door he peered through the crack in the blinds- there were so many agents. Through the sea of blonde and brunette hair he saw no trace of red hair.

 _Really, where was she? She promised she'd come straight back. It's cos she doesn't want to be harassed by the agents._ He reasoned with himself. He wanted to get out of the hospital room but that was never gonna happen. He sighed and sat down on the bed, there was nothing to do here.

He heard a small noise in the ceilings above. He looked up just in time to see his red-haired girl fall down gracefully from the vents. "Hey solider." She said and Steve walked up and hugged her tightly. "Hey, you ok?" He asked, checking for non-existent wounds. "Yeah. I'm fine. You?" She kissed him lightly. "Yeah, but there's really nothing to do in here." Natasha winked and he laughed. "No, there are female agents outside." Steve said through laughs. "Fine. I'll call Cho in and see if you can get discharged." She lifted up the hem of his shirt and checked his wounds. "I mean you're all healed." He nodded, "Be back with Cho in fifteen mins. We'll have to go through the vents probably." She kissed him again before climbing through the vents.

Just like she said, her and Cho arrived through the vents 14 ½ minutes later. "Ok." She finished inspecting his bullet wounds, "I think you're good to go." She said and left the room. "Come on. Let's open the door and slip out through the vents!" And they did just that- Natasha opened the door and ran up to join Steve in the vents. Together they crawled out of his room and landed on the floor behind all the female agents- who turned and saw a flash of muscle and red hair as the couple ran down the corridor.

When they got to their room they collapsed on the bed, laughing.


	32. Chapter 32

"Natasha, come on wake up!" She heard someone explain, why did she have to get up? She was quite comfy where she was, thank you very much.

"C'mon Nat!" Natasha held onto the covers even tighter and curled into a blanket burrito. "Natasha we have a meeting with Fury so wake the fuck up!" Natasha grumbled and ignored the voice. "Nat if you get up know I will take you to Broadway." Great! Now he was trying to bargain with her. "Ok." She said reluctantly. "What can we see?"

"We'll talk about that later. Right now you need to get dressed and come to the meeting with me." Steve said and helped her out of bed. They got changed- Steve into a suit and Nat into a black pencil skirt and a white blouse. "You ready?"

"Yes, but I'm really hungry." She complained as they walked out of their room. "I'll grab something from the kitchen." He said and ran towards the kitchen. Natasha stood and waited for him to get back- she saw him and smiled when she saw that he had a breakfast bar and chocolate.

"Thanks." She took the food from him and started to eat. "Who is going to this meeting?"

"I think it's just us, but I have no idea." Natasha nodded and smoothed down her outfit. Together they walked into the meeting room to find Sharon, Violet, Sammy and Kirsten all sitting at the table looking smug while Fury and Hill stood at the head of table looking annoyed.

"Ah, Rogers, Romanoff, have a seat." The couple looked at each nervously before sitting down next to each other. "Why are we here?" Natasha asked, her voice showing nothing but her face betraying how scared and nervous she was. Steve noticed this and grabbed her hand.

"We have been receiving complaints from these four girls about how you have been treating them." Maria said, Natasha's eyes widened in surprise. "What? How? They…" Her voice trailed off as Fury looked at her sternly.

"They say you have been telling them to shut up and forcing them to get off the couch, with death threats." Fury said with pointed look at Natasha, who shrugged.

"Apparently you have also been threatening them to fire them." Maria said with a disapproving glare. "Agents, would you like to add anything?"

Violet nodded eagerly, "I think she's still working with the enemy. Like I told him isn't amazing how she miraculously acquired feelings for him over night? Also she's pregnant with 'his' baby. How do we know it's not someone else's?" This made Natasha seethe with anger and she had to restrain herself from punching them.

"I think that's enough girls. You are free to go. We will have JARVIS inform you when to comeback after we have made our decision." Fury said and the agents smugly walked out the door.

Natasha sighed and leant back against the chair and held Steve's hand tighter, she knew- she knew this was it. Her perfect home, her work and she was being fired because they only took on side of the story.

Steve looked over and saw Natasha- tears threatening to spill from her beautiful eyes. What would happen to them? He didn't want to loose Natasha and he didn't want her to loose her home. He just hoped they wouldn't be fired.

"Ok, Romanoff, Rogers. Would you like us to do about these agents? They are such a pain in my fucking ass." Fury asked and Natasha looked at Steve breathed out a sigh of relief.

"What? I thought." Steve was dumbfounded and had no idea what was happening.

"Should I fire them? I asked JARVIS and he said that they had been searching up information on agent Romanoff, and the security feed says they have been harassing you for the past couple of days." Fury said and Natasha nodded eagerly.

"Please fire them! I don't think they will survive anymore if they stay!" Natasha exclaimed.

"Nat?"

"Yes Maria."

"They said you were pregnant, is that true?" Maria asked and Natasha knew she wasn't asking as her employer but her friend. "Yes." Natasha smiled as her friend hugged her tightly.

"Oh congrats! When's the baby shower?"

"No idea. Pepper's planning it, not Tony." She added as she saw Steve look wary. "Hill." Fury warned, "Yes boss?"

"We need to tell the agents about our decisions. JARVIS, can you please tell Violet, Sharon, Sammy and Kirsten to come back to the meeting room." Maria nodded and walked back to the head of the table.

The agents walked back in looking pleased with themselves. "So, what is your decision?"

"You're fired." Natasha laughed as the agents clearly thought they were talking about her and Steve. Natasha couldn't help it, she had to ask, "Aren't you going to leave?" The agents looked confused, so Maria elaborated what her boss had said, "You… are… fired." She said slowly, enunciating each word. The agents looked pissed.

"Why?" Was all Sharon could say.

"Because we know what really happened. Your belongings are in garage. If you sell any information to the magazines, papers or post anything on your social media accounts we will sue you. Is that understood?" Fury explained and ushered the girls out of the room. "Bye!" Nat and Maria called after them.

"You are both dismissed."

"Thank you." Steve said and helped Natasha up and they walked back to their room. "I'm gonna guess that the name Violet is off the table then?" Natasha asked when they were safely in her room. She walked to her closet and changed into sweatpants and one of Steve's tops.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers?"

"Yes JARVIS?"

"You are needed in the hospital for an ultrasound."

"Ok, thanks." They answered and walked down to the hospital. They were called into a room and Natasha lay down on the gurney. Cho placed some cold jelly on her stomach and told them to look at the screen.

"That's your baby." Cho told them and pointed to the screen. "And, he's a boy." Then she had flicked the switch and the room was filled with the sound of her baby's heartbeat. Natasha felt tears prick her eyes.

"I'll give you two a minute. I'll be back with a photo." Natasha nodded and Steve hugged her tightly.


	33. Chapter 33

When Natasha and Steve got out of the hospital they called everyone into the common room. "How'd the ultrasound go, Nat?" Clint asked, "It went well. We are having a little boy." Steve smiled and hugged her from behind and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"The baby would be called Clinton, right?"

"In your dreams, bitch! It'd be Anthony!" Tony butted in. "Actually, we've already chosen the name. He's going to be James." Steve said and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah, sorry guys. He's a James."

"Natasha Romanoff, why is child not being called Clinton?" Clint yelled and Natasha laughed because he was trying not to laugh. "His middle name will be Clinton, I promise." Steve said.

"Ok, good." Clint said and everyone laughed. "Ok, Nat, Steve give me and Pep 2 days and we will plan the best baby shower in the entire universe!" Tony practically screamed and Thor slapped him round the back of his head before Pepper could.

"We will plan a good baby shower." Pepper reassured the couple. "Do you have a photo?" Maria asked, Natasha nodded and handed Maria the photo, who passed the photo around.

"Where are Wanda and Peter?" Natasha asked, "They went on their on first partner mission." Maria informed them, "WHAT?!" Tony screeched. "You sent Peter on a mission without me?! You didn't think to tell me?"

"Tony, calm down. Stop panicking. He'll be fine." Pepper said, and hugged him. Meanwhile Natasha was panicking about Wanda. "Where is there mission? When did you send them on it?" Natasha asked.

"We sent them at the start of yesterday. They'll be back by tonight." Maria confirmed. "Or we could be back today." Wanda said, Natasha turned and hugged Wanda. "Are you ok?" Tony asked, hugging Peter. "Yeah, we're ok. The girls are fine." Wanda told Maria.

"Ok, so what's going on?" Wanda asked and flopped down on the sofa- she was half asleep. "Oh, we got the results of the ultra-sound."

"And…"

"It's a little boy." Steve said and sat next to Wanda. "Who's planning the baby shower?" Peter asked, "Um, Tony and Pepper." Natasha said and sat down on Steve's lap. "Can we help?"

"I guess so. Anyone else wanna help?" Pepper asked, everyone nodded. "Ok, Steve, Nat, we have to kick you out, stay in your room for the next two days. I'll send meals and stuff up for you and JARVIS can play movies for you." Tony said and everyone laughed, thinking he was joking.

"Wait, you're actually serious?" Nat asked, her voice edged with worry. "Yes, we're kicking you out. You aren't allowed in the dining hall or common room. Pep, we also have to kick everyone else out that isn't in this room." Tony said.

"Holy fuck, he's serious." Steve whispered in her ear, "Language, solider." Natasha whispered back and everyone laughed.

"What about Laura and the kids? They'll want to be here?" Clint asked. "I would like them to be here as well." Natasha said.

"Ok. Clint call them and get them here on the quinjet. The party'll be in 2 days and will be for the entire day." Tony instructed. "Tony call down." Pepper tried to calm her boyfriend but it didn't work.

"Natasha, Steve get out of here." Tony pulled Natasha and Steve up and shoved them towards their room. "Ok, ok we're going." Steve laughed. "So just to be clear, we're staying in our room for the next two days, and you are going to send us up food and movies?"

"Yes! Is it that hard to grasp?" Tony asked exasperatedly. "GO!" Natasha laughed and grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him up to their room.

They reached their room and she flopped down on the bed. "Wanna watch a movie?" She asked, "Sure. What should we watch?"

"No idea." She said with a yawn. "Let's just watch the Harry Potter's since we have nothing else to do." Steve said and sat next to Natasha. She turned around and rested against his chest. "Huh, yeah let's do that." She said sleepily. "JARVIS, play _Harry Potter and the philosophers stone_." Steve asked the AI.

They were halfway through the first movie when Steve realised that Natasha had fallen asleep on his chest. She was so cute when she slept and sometimes he had trouble believing this was the girl who used to be a deadly assassin.

Steve lay her back down on the bed before going around and getting ready for bed himself. Natasha was already ready for bed because she was wearing his top and sweatpants. Steve walked over to Natasha and got her put of her sweatpants because she was going to over heat with them on before slipping in next to her.

She didn't budge as he wrapped his arms around her and fell asleep.


	34. Chapter 34

Natasha and Steve had locked in their room for the past 2 and ½ days and they were so bored. Natasha stirred and she was still wrapped in Steve's embrace. She smiled sleepily and snuggled back into him. For one of the first times in her life she believed she was happy.

She checked the time- 9:37. Natasha started to press kisses along his arms until he woke up. "What was the point of that?" He asked and pinned her down under him. "To wake you up. The shower's today." She smirked and pushed him off of her.

She walked to the shower, stripped and got in. She turned around and smiled when she saw Steve was still lying in the bed.

"You gonna shower or." Her voice trailed off as Steve jumped of the bed and into the shower. Natasha screamed with laughter as the water splashed into her face. "Arh! What the hell was that for?"

"You told me to come shower." He defended himself, "Yeah! I told you to come shower, not splash me in the face!" She sputtered and coughed. "Sorry." He said and patted her back. They stayed under the water for a while and then got out a changed.

Natasha stared at Steve while he changed into a white top and blue jeans. "What are you staring at?" He asked and she realised she was still in the towel. "Nothing." She whispered and moved to her wardrobe. She pulled out a flowing floral dress and slipped into it.

She walked over to the vanity and added some natural make-up. She felt arms snake around her waist and hands on her stomach. She covered his hands with hers and smiled.

She felt Steve's lips on her neck and she pushed him away. "Sorry babe. Baby shower." Steve groaned and grumbled and helped her up. He hugged her tightly and Natasha smiled into his collarbone. "JARVIS, how long till the party?"

"The party will be at 12:00." The AI informed them- they had an hour. "I'm hungry." Natasha said and the AI told them they would have food in fifteen minutes. Steve sat down on the bed and grabbed a book. Natasha flopped down next to him and put her head on his lap.

"I love you." She mumbled and looked up to see him smile. "I love you too." He told her and this time it was her turn to smile. "Steve, I think- I think I'm happy." Natasha told him.

"Happy? Well if you're happy I'm happy." Natasha nodded and jumped off his lap when the door opened with food. "Thank you!" She grabbed the pancakes and waffles and sat on the bed and began to eat. "What? I'm hungry!" She defended herself as Steve looked at her. "Do I get any food or no?"

"Fine." She feigned annoyance and handed him a plate with 2 waffles and a pancake. They finished their breakfast and walked out of their room after JARVIS told them the party was ready.

They followed a bunch of signs Tony had left out and stopped dead when they saw the 'party'. "Oh dear Lord. I thought we asked Pepper to plan." Steve whispered when they saw what looked like a club in place of the gym.

"Tony! Get your ass out here!" Natasha shouted, rage and annoyance flaring in her eyes. "Yes, little Red?" Tony asked and stepped out in a dark jeans and a blue top. "What the hell is this?" Steve asked and gestured towards the club. Natasha rose up onto her toes and whispered, "Language."

"Why it's your party." Pepper said, stepping out in ripped jeans and a floral top. "Pep, I thought we asked you to…" Her voice trailed off as both Pepper and Tony laughed. "What?..."

"It was Peter's idea. To prank you and see your reaction. The party's this way." Pepper said and took Natasha's hand and led her to the really party.

Natasha stopped dead when she saw the party. "This is beautiful!" She exclaimed. It really was. There were balloons on the ceiling, a giant teddy bear on a sofa. It was beautiful. She hugged Natasha and led her to the couch. Steve followed and sat next to Natasha.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila screamed and ran toward her. She hugged her niece tightly and looked up and saw the Barton's coming through the door. "Hey sweetie." She said as she let go of her niece.

Laura walked up to the couple and Natasha looked around, "Who are you looking for Nat?" Laura asked confusedly. "Nathaniel. Where is he?" Just then a little boy ran towards Steve and fell at his feet. Steve bent down and picked him up. "Hello there. How are you?" Steve asked and hugged the boy.

Natasha looked over and saw Steve holding her nephew and her heart swelled. He was so good with kids. "Come here." She said and made grabby hands for him. Steve laughed before passing the infant over to his girlfriend.

Natasha sat Nate on her lap and played with him for a while until Tony shouted, "Presents!" Natasha smiled and as Tony staggered over, his arms full of presents.

"Good Lord Tony." Natasha exclaimed as Tony flopped down in front of her. "Stark, are they all from you?"

"Yes. Open them! Open them!" He screeched like a little child and Natasha complied. She received a bassinet, Iron Man baby clothes, toys and a pushchair. She laughed a lot when she saw Steve's reaction to the baby clothes.

She opened the rest of the presents and they walked to the dining hall. They were all seated when she heard a voice call her name. At first she ignored it, not wanting to listen to what they had to say. "Natasha." The voice said again and she sighed. Everyone was preoccupied, but she still told Steve that someone needed to talk to her. He nodded and his eyes turned to slits when he saw who it was.

She grabbed the source of the voice's arm and dragged him into the corridor. She avoided his eye.

"Natasha." She still avoided eye-contact but she still said; "What do you want Bruce?"


	35. Chapter 35

"What do you want?" She repeated. He looked uncomfortable and shuffled his feet. "Bruce what the hell do you want?" She snapped. "I have a party to get back to. BRUCE!"

"Nat."

"Don't call me 'Nat', its 'Natasha' to you."

"Please Nat."

"What?" Natasha snapped, she was losing patience with the guy who attacked her. "Why are you here?" Now she was curious.

"I wanted to talk to you." Bruce said and twisted his hands together.

"Then fucking talk!" She shouted all patience lost.

"Look, I know you're dating someone but I assume you broke up with him or vice versa since I watched you at the party and the only person you stayed with was Steve. It's not even your birthday so I don't know why you got a bunch of presents."

 _It's a good thing we didn't hire you because of your sight._ She thought and was glad she wore a flowing dress to hide her small bump. "Bruce you're stalling, get on with it. I want to get back, they'll be wondering where I am."

"Natasha, I love you. Please, I'm so sorry and I'm going to guess you're single since you never mentioned a boyfriend. So." He stopped talking and kissed her.

Natasha's stopped functioning for a second but she then shoved him away and kicked him. "BRUCE! What the fuck?!" She shouted, her voice wavering slightly.

"Natasha, I still love you. I'm going to assume your single. So please. Give me another chance." She started to back up against the wall as Bruce began to advance. As soon as her back hit the wall she jumped up and kicked him, which was hard since she had a dress and a baby bump. She hit her target and he doubled over in pain.

"Get out. I have said this once I am going to say it again. _GET THE HELL OUT!_ I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN EVER!" She screamed and a few traitor tears slipped from her eyes.

"Nat please."

"Deal with these feelings yourself. I don't love you. I love someone else. Now get out." She whispered. "Please."

"No get out, or I will call in the Avengers and they will get you out. If you don't want me to repeat what happened here then get out or everyone else will know, especially Steve; he'll enjoy kicking your ass after the shit you put me through."

"Wait, why Steve?"

"He's my boyfriend. Get out." She whispered and Bruce turned and walked out of the tower. She fell back against the wall and more tears slipped from her eyes. She knew if she stayed here for longer then people would come looking for her. How would she tell Steve?

She shut her eyes and thought about what to do. The happiness she had felt mere hours ago had shattered and- and had she cheated? Shit, she was no good with relationships. What would he say? What would he do? _It wasn't like it was that bad he just kissed me it's not like he attacked me anyway. But he still loves me. I love STEVE not him._ She thought.

"Natasha?" She heard Peter's voice coming down from up the corridor. She nodded her head. "What happened?" Peter asked and charged to her side. "Banner. He- he came here and kissed me." She whispered.

"Oh my, Nat. Are you ok?"

"Yes- no- I don't know. I don't want to see Steve. I'm scared how he'll react. It's not my fault. Please believe me. It's not my fault." She whispered.

"I know. I know, come on, you can come up to my room. We don't have to go through the party. We'll go through the vents. After you."

"I'm wearing a dress." She quipped and Peter laughed as she regained her old nature. "I'll go first." He told he and she nodded. "Come on." He said and jumped into the vent.

She climbed up and followed him to his room. She dropped from the vents and walked over and stood by his bed. "Can I sit?"

"Sure. Do you wanna talk?" Natasha didn't feel comfortable talking to someone so young about this so she shook her head. "Do you have any homework I can help you with? Anything to take my mind off of what happened." She asked and Peter nodded.

"I have quadratic equations."

"Ok. Um so you have to…" She continued to explain what they what to do and managed to push most of what had happened out of her mind. She left Peter to do a few questions for himself.

She sat on his bed and wondered if she should tell someone. "Peter, do you really want to know why I'm so upset about what happened?" She asked and hoped he wouldn't agree. "Ok, but only if it's ok with you."

"It reminds me of what happened to me in the Red Room. I was attacked, tortured and more. I dunno why, it's just stupid that these feelings still haunt me. It really is stupid."

"No it's not. But I think you really need to talk to Steve. He needs to know." Peter said and hugged Natasha. "Please Nat. For me?"

"Fine." She laughed and Peter looked confused, "What?"

"It's just I never thought I would be taking advice from a 17 year old." She laughed and this time Peter joined in. "Miss Romanoff, Mr Parker, Captain Rogers is wondering where you are. What should I tell him?" The AI interrupted them and Peter looked towards Natasha who shook her head.

"JARVIS can you please inform Captain Rogers that I am safe but not ready to talk." The AI agreed and then left them alone.

"I know its bad but I don't want to tell Steve just in case he wants to go and attack Bruce… Not that I don't want him to." She added hastily when she saw Peter's reaction.

"But…?" 

"But if I want to beat him up. But before I do that I want to let the realisation that I'm dating the one person he doesn't want me to, and eventually he'll realise that I'm having his child." Peter laughed and how evil she was being.

"I am a lethal assassin, you shouldn't be so surprised at how evil I can actually be!" She exclaimed and Peter laughed again. Natasha got of his bed and walked around the room and back to his bed.

"Natasha. What are you doing?"

"Just walking and thinking." She sat down on the opposite side of the bed. "What time is it JARVIS?"

"It is exactly 11:06. The party has finished and everyone is on their ways back to their rooms. Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers has said he will listen to your request but will wait up until you come back." Natasha smiled and closed her eyes to stop the tears falling.

"Natasha do you want to go back to Steve or stay here?" Peter asked. "I'd better go back. He's worried." She said. "Night Peter." She said and slipped out of the door. "Night Nat." He called after her.

Natasha slipped out of the room and up to her room. She opened the door and saw Steve lying on the bed reading a book. "Hey." She whispered, he looked up from his book and smiled slightly.

"Natasha, are you ok?" Putting his book down she climbed onto the bed and sat next to him. "Do you want to talk?"

"Yes, but not now. I'll talk tomorrow. Sorry." Natasha said and changed into one of his tops. "Ok. Night Natasha. I love you." He whispered as they settled down to sleep. "Night Steve. I love you too." She whispered back and slipped into sleep.

 **A/N- Sorry for not updating yesterday. School was hell and I didn't have time.**


	36. Chapter 36

"Natalia! Wake up!" Natasha groaned and her eyes opened to see a dark room and medical supplies on each side of her. She started to thrash around, when someone started to hold her down. "Natalia, stop thrashing. It's going to happen."

"NO! Get off me!" She screeched but it came out as a whisper. "Natalia, accept your fate. You cannot have this child. We need you to kill Captain America. He is the reason you are here." The voice she recognized as Ivan's said.

"NO! I won't kill him no!" She whispered. "Get off me!" She screamed when a nurse picked up a medical tool and Ivan held her down.

"Natasha. Wake up. Please." Steve's voice floated through her nightmares and she snapped her eyes open. She was drenched in sweat and her eyes were puffy. Steve had a hand on his face and a hand on hers. "Natasha, what happened? Are you ok?" Steve asked and hugged her tightly.

She noticed a red mark on the side of his face. "Did I hurt you?" She asked timidly. Steve shook his head but she knew he was lying. She scrambled out of bed and up against a wall. She was fully crying now.

"Oh my God, I hurt you didn't I? I'm so sorry. It wasn't my fault. He brought back memories of the Red Room." She slid down the wall and hugged her knees. Steve came up and sat beside her, not touching her.

"Who did?" Natasha shook her head. Her mind was racing- _She hurt him. How would she be with their child? Would he leave her?_

"Natasha. Please, talk to me." Steve begged and reached for her hand. "Steve. I'm so sorry. Bruce-" She whispered and rested her head on his chest.

"Bruce what? Natasha, babe, what did he do to you?" Steve whispered and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into him and tears slipped down her eyes.

"Natasha, honey, please talk to me. I want to make sure you're ok. What happened with Bruce?" Steve asked and rubbed his hands up and down her arms.

"He came to the tower. He told me loved me. He kissed me." She choked out. She felt Steve tense beside against her.

"I kicked him out." She whispered and kissed his chin. "I'm sorry if this changes how you look at me." She whispered and turned away from him.

"Hey, Natasha. Look at me." She did and he smiled at her. "It's not your fault. Does he know you're pregnant or with me?" Steve asked and hugged her tightly.

"I told him I'm with you but he's really stupid and didn't notice that I was getting baby stuff." She laughed. "Good thing we didn't keep him for his observation skills." Steve said and Natasha agreed.

"Wait, so you're not mad at me for kissing him?"

"Did you kiss him back?"

"No! I kicked him in the stomach and punched him!" She exclaimed. "Then no. I'm mad at you, I'm pissed at him." Steve said.

Steve released his hold on her and helped her up. "You hungry?"

"Yes. Let's get changed and we'll go down."

"Nat?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not having a go but why were you so scared to tell me what happened?" Changing into some clothes, he took her hand and together they walked down into the dining hall.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Natasha breathed out when they reached the hall. Steve look up and saw Stark on a call with reporters and the like.

"He told, didn't he?" Natasha asked and walked closer to Steve's side. Steve nodded, "I'll talk to Stark."

"Stark! A word!" Steve called and Natasha moved to sit at a booth.

"Ahh! Captain America! Is it true you are dating the Black Widow?" A reporter asked. Natasha sat at the booth and heard so many other questions that she didn't want to hear.

"How do you know she is not working for the enemy?"

"She moved from Bruce Banner to you very quickly, do you believe she truly loves you?"

"Bruce Banner says that the Black Widow said she still loves him and pushed him against a wall to kiss him, is it true?"

Natasha buried her head in her hands and tried to block out the questions. She looked up and saw Steve and Stark trying to hang up with the reporters. They managed and came to sit with her. "I am going to kill that green motherfucker!" She shouted. Steve laughed and put his arm around her.

"Stark, why did you answer those calls?" Steve asked whilst eating cereal. "I usually answer them because they are usually about previous missions or about me. Didn't think it would be about you. Anyway, how did they know?"

"Bruce paid me a visit yesterday. Everything the reporters said was true but for him. He said he still loved me and then he kissed me." Natasha explained.

"Oh. Wait, you didn't tell him about the baby did you?" Tony asked. Natasha shook her head, "He didn't notice the fact that the presents I got were for babies."

"Ok. That's good." Tony said. "Mr Stark?"

"Yes JARVIS?"

"There is someone at the door. Should I let them in?"

"Yes please JARVIS. But make sure they aren't a reporter." Stark added when he noticed the fact people were still calling him. Steve looked over and saw Natasha had rested her head on his shoulder and her eyes were drooping.

"Hey guys? There is a bunch of people outside." They heard Peter call. "Peter come in here!" Tony called. Natasha raised her head of Steve's shoulder for a second to look at who was coming in but then lowered back down on his shoulder.

Everyone walked into the dining hall and sat around Natasha. "Auntie Nat, where did you go last night?" Lila asked. Natasha looked at the girl and she smiled before her face fell and she started to shrink into Steve's side.

"Nat?" Steve asked before looking up and seeing some people he really didn't want to see, ever again. "Natasha, come on. Let's go before they see us." Steve said and helped her up and they ran towards the vents. Natasha smiled before jumping into them after Steve. They crawled till they were over the dining hall and could hear everything that was being said.

"Banner, Carter. What do you want?" That was Tony.

"We want information as to why you are lying to the press." 

"I'm not lying."

"Then where the hell are Cap and Nat?" Bruce asked, Steve saw Natasha mouth, 'It's Natasha to you motherfucker.'

"Get out." Peter said and everyone echoed him.

"We won't leave until we have proof that Romanoff is lying to everyone." Sharon said. Steve turned and saw Natasha crawling out of the vent. Steve followed her and grabbed her arm lightly as she was about to go into the dining hall.

"Take my jumper. We don't want them knowing your pregnant." Steve said and gave her his jumper; Natasha put it on and saw that it really did cover her bump.

"But Sharon already knows." She pointed out, "We can lie. Say we never said that, or only said it to get her out of our lives." Steve said. Natasha laughed.

"And they say I'm the liar!"

"I'm not that bad!" Steve defended himself. "Of course babe. Come on." She kissed him before they walked out into the dining hall. "Hey guys!"

"Auntie Nat!" Lila screamed and ran up to hug her aunt. Natasha bent down and whispered in the girl's ear. "Ok. I won't tell them." Lila whispered back.

The couple walked back to the booth and both stopped dead when they saw Bruce and Sharon. "What are you doing here?" Natasha snapped.

"Why aren't you taking press interviews? It's bad publicity?" Sharon asked mockingly. "Shouldn't the public know that Earth's mightiest defenders are pregnant? And can't do it any more?"

"Wait, you're pregnant?" Bruce asked bewildered. "Nat, is there something you need to tell me?" Steve asked, pretending not to know.

"No! I'm not pregnant!" She exclaimed. "Then how come when I last here you told me you were pregnant and to get out of your lives." 

"We lied!" Steve exclaimed. "Really, Steve? She's roped you into lying with you. Honestly, don't listen to her; she's gonna lie to you."

"Sharon, please stop." Steve asked gently as Natasha sat down next to Wanda.

"Why? Why should I? It's not that hard. It's easy to tell that she's lying. Banner and I just want to protect the both of you. Steve you can come with me, Natasha can go to prison or with Bruce." Sharon said, holding out her hand. Bruce prised Natasha's hand away from Wanda's and held it tightly. He tugged her up and pulled her towards the door.

"Get off me!" Natasha shouted and tugged her arm away. "No, please Natasha. I love you, come on." Bruce begged and resumed walking towards the door with here.

"Natasha." Steve shouted and ran after her. "Natasha. Fight back." Steve whispered. Natasha nodded and twisted her arm, causing Bruce to bend over and then she punched them in the face. He realised his grip and she stumbled back into Steve.

Bruce stumbled upright and stared at Steve. Sharon shoved past them and stared at Natasha's stomach. "We will be back in 5 months." Sharon hissed and stomped off.

"Natasha please. Come with me, I love you. Please come." Bruce begged. Natasha got up and moved away from Steve, moving towards Banner Sharon said, "See Steve, she'll go to anyone who says they love her."

Natasha saw Steve begin to tear up; she winked at him before putting her arm and Bruce's shoulder. Steve saw Bruce smile and he turned to kiss her. She put her hand on his shoulder and punched him in the stomach.

He doubled over in pain and she kicked his legs out from under him. "Stay away from me and Steve." She hissed before shoving him towards the door. Natasha stood up, "If you bother coming back again we will call the police." She hissed.

Banner and Sharon turned and walked out of the tower. "JARVIS, make sure they don't come back." Clint said and the AI agreed.

Steve stood up and walked over to Natasha. She fell back into him. Steve caught her and hugged her tightly. "Come on." Steve whispered and she nodded as he helped her up. They walked over to the table and everyone sat down around them. They continued to talk about tactics to keep everyone out. Natasha smiled and laid her head back on Steve's shoulder and listened.


	37. Chapter 37

"Natasha come on. I have to go." Steve whispered. "No, please stay. I don't want to stay here alone." She pleaded. "Can't sorry. I have to go. I'm sorry; I'll be back next week. I love you." Steve kissed her and she hugged him before pushing him towards the hangar.

"I love you too. Get the mission done quickly or I will get mad." She called after him. "Can't promise anything." He called back and ran into the quinjet where everyone else was waiting for him.

She waved them off before sighing and walking back to their room. So she had nothing to do and she was alone in the tower. She flopped down on the sofa and started to eat the pack of biscuits on the table.

She mulled ideas over about what to do today. She could either stay here and become bored out of her mind or she could go out and risk running into the press. Being the reckless, stupid lethal assassin and spy she was she decided to go shopping.

She got changed and slipped out of the tower without anyone noticing her. "Come on little baby, mama is taking you shopping." She whispered to her bump. She made her way through the thrum of people, her hood covering most of her face and the baggy jumper she was wearing covering her bump.

She made her way to a maternity shop, so far successfully avoiding stares. She started to look around the shop and couldn't help but laugh when she saw that they had a display full of Avengers baby clothes and the sort but none of it was Hawkeye, Spiderman, Black Widow or Scarlet Witch themed; they had one for Fury for crying out loud. She pulled out her phone and took some photos. She would enjoy watching Clint's face.

She walked around the shop and picked up some clothes and baby supplies before turning to the cashier and paying. She walked out of the shop and straight into someone. "Oh, sorry." She said without even looking up.

"It's fine." The man said and she rushed off, not wanting to attract too much attention. Suddenly she was being pulled into the women's bathroom. "What the HELL are you doing here?" The woman asked, like Natasha this woman had a hood over her face but she knew exactly who it was.

"Shopping." Natasha said defensively. "Why are you here alone?"

"Because, like you, my boyfriend was sent on a mission." Natasha looked up at the woman, who was looking at her sternly. "What if you had been recognized?"

"Sorry Pep. I was bored. Wanna shop with me?" Natasha asked hopefully. "Sure. What are we shopping for?" Pepper's demeanour changed instantly.

"I just bought some baby and maternity clothes." Natasha said as the two walked out of the bathroom, arm in arm. "Cool. I was shopping for dress and the like." Pepper said.

They walked around aimlessly for a while until Natasha saw someone with a camera walk up the opposite set of stairs to them. "Pep. Camera." She whispered and Pepper nodded. "Come on, let's get some food." Pepper said and pulled Natasha to a pizza joint that was never shut but today it was.

Natasha picked the lock and the two slipped into the shop without being noticed. Pepper flicked the light on and they climbed over the counter into the kitchen. Natasha found some cold pizza, she brought it out to Pepper and they sat at one of the tables.

Natasha looked up when she heard a ticking in the corner of the room. "I think I know why this place is closed." She whispered and got up out of her chair and walked over to the corner.

"Pep, what was the nature of their mission?"

"Dispose of a bomb that HYDRA planted. Why?" Pepper asked and came up to stand behind her friend. "I think I found it." She whispered.

"Fuck. What do we do?" Pepper asked quietly.

"First off- Pepper I don't think I have ever heard you use that word. And second off- I know how to diffuse certain bombs. We need to tell them." Natasha said and Pepper nodded. "We also need to clear the mall." Pepper said as she peaked out of shop windows.

"I'll call Fury and tell him to get them to clear the mall." Pepper said and walked off to call Fury. "Hey Fury you need to clear the mall…" Their conversation drifted into background as Natasha looked at the bomb. She began to tug at the wires. The ticking increased, "Pep… we need to go. Now!" Natasha said and dragged Pepper out of the shop. The mall was empty and they saw the quinjet landing through the glass roof.

Natasha turned as the ticking stopped. Shit! She grabbed Pepper's arm and shoved her away from the store. The bomb exploded and pieces of wall, ceiling and glass flew everywhere. Natasha saw Pepper fall and then darkness covered her eyes.

Steve got a call from Fury halfway through the mission telling him that the bomb was at a mall; what he didn't know was that his girlfriend was there- trying to diffuse said bomb. He ordered the avengers back into the jet and then they set off.

"Capsicle, where are we going?" Tony asked from where he was tending to a wound on Peter's shoulder. "Fury got a call from Pepper saying the bomb was at a mall she was shopping with. We're going there now." Steve explained and Tony looked worried.

They were hovering over the mall and Steve saw people clustered outside. He looked through the glass roof and saw a flash of red. "Natasha." He said and began to land the jet. The roof caved in and the walls shattered just as the jet landed. Steve jumped out and charged through the groups of worried civilians and into the mall. He charged in, Tony not far behind. Steve found Pepper first; conscious but she had a broken leg by the looks of it.

"Are you ok?" He asked and knelt down next to her. "I'm fine. My leg hurts but I'm fine." Steve nodded and helped her up. She couldn't support her weight and she began to sway but Tony caught her. "Take her to the quinjet. I'll find Natasha and then be there." He said. Tony nodded and picked up Pepper.

"She's somewhere over there." Pepper said and pointed to a pile of rubble before passing out. Steve's throat tightened and he felt his eyes burn. Once Tony had left he ran towards the pile of rumble and began to look through it.

He couldn't find her so he looked behind the pile and there she was. Lying on the floor, a gash on her forehead, unconscious but alive. Steve let out a cry and ran towards her. He shook her body and repeated her name. "Come on. Wake up." He pulled off the jumper she was wearing and tore it up to use as bandages for the scraps and cuts on her arms and legs. He kissed her forehead before scooping her up and carrying her out to the quinjet.

There were reports bombarding him with questions but he ignored them and ran to the quinjet. He placed her on the medical table Tony had placed out. "Is she ok?" He heard Pepper ask from the seat she was sitting in, her leg bandaged.

"I don't know." Steve said earnestly, he stood next to her; holding her hand as Tony bustled around her, fixing her wounds. Steve felt hands on his shoulder and then Peter and Wanda and shoved him into a seat.

He tried to get up but Wanda pushed him back. "You need to rest. She'll be fine. If you don't want to sleep that's fine, but just sit." Peter begged. "Fine." Steve leaned back in the chair but didn't take his eyes of his pregnant girlfriend.

The jet landed and Steve picked Natasha up and carried her to the hospital. He placed her down and asked JARVIS to scan her for any lethal injuries. "No life-threatening injuries. A concussion and some cuts and scraps." The AI told Steve and he breathed out a sigh of relief, but then something dawned on him- _the baby!_

"And the baby? Is he ok?" A second later the AI told him that the baby was fine, no damage was done. Steve let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He turned and saw Pepper being wheeled in.

"How is she?" Cho asked, coming up to stand beside Steve and checked her temperature. "JARVIS says she has no outstanding injuries apart from a concussion and the baby wasn't harmed." He told her.

"That's fine, she'll need to stay here for a day and then bed rest, ok?"

"Yeah that's fine." Steve said. Cho nodded and walked out of the room and shut the door behind her. Pepper pulled herself into a sitting position and looked over at her friend.

"What happened?" He asked, coming over to sit next to her. "She said she was bored, we walked around and then she saw someone with a camera so we snuck into this shut pizza place. We ate some pizza and then she heard a ticking." Pepper paused and took a sip of water. "Then she walked over and realised it was the bomb you guys went looking for." Steve nodded and looked towards his girlfriend.

"She tried and failed to diffuse it. We ran out of the shop and she shoved me in front and then it exploded." Pepper finished and smiled. "She saved me, if I was behind her I would've been killed."

Steve nodded. "Thanks Pepper. How are you?" He asked. "Fine." Steve nodded again. They both looked up when they heard a clatter from the other side of the room. "What ARE you doing?" Pepper asked and Natasha staggered over to them and flopped on top of Steve. "I don't like it in those beds." She defended herself. "Are you ok?" She asked Pepper.

"Yeah, fine." After a minute she added, "Thank you."

"For what?" Natasha asked confused. "Nat, do you remember what happened?"

"No, not really. I remember finding a bomb and then nothing else." She whispered.

"Oh my God. What did I do? Did I put you here?" She asked and began to panic. Steve grabbed her arms and hugged her. "Nat, you pushed me out of the way of the ceiling. You did nothing wrong." Pepper relaxed and Natasha calmed down. She buried her head in Steve's neck and murmured something.

"Pardon?" Steve asked. "At least I didn't get spotted by the paparazzi." She whispered. "Oh my God! That's the one thing you think about!" Steve laughed and Pepper and Natasha joined in.

"Are you ok?" Steve asked whilst looking over her. "Yeah, I'm fine." She said and kissed him. Steve smiled, just then someone charged through the doors and barricaded chair in front of them.

"Holy shit!" Peter exclaimed. "Language."

"Peter? What on Earth is going on?" Pepper asked and Natasha raised her head from Steve's shoulder. "Reporters." Peter panted and walked over to them. "They want to know why the famous Black Widow was being carried out of the mall by America's golden boy."

"They are never gonna stop until we give them information are they?" Natasha said whilst lowering her head back onto Steve's shoulder. "No, probably not." Steve said and wrapped his arms possessively around his girl.

 **A/N- Sorry for not updating in forever, school's been hectic. The updates will continue to be random but I made this chapter extra long to make up for the lack of them in the past few days.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Time skip. She's 9 months pregnant.**

"NO! I don't want to hear it! Just leave." Natasha shouted at him. "Please. Nat, I didn't mean to. It was an accident." Steve pleaded and grasped her hands. "Please, you have to trust me."

"NO! I can't trust you anymore. You got someone else pregnant." Natasha sobbed and placed a hand on her stomach. "I didn't mean…" He trailed off as his phone rung.

"Go on. Answer it." Natasha motioned to his phone where Sharon's ID had come up. "Hey, Sharon. Now's not a good time… What? Oh, it's a girl? Oh ok."

"You got Sharon pregnant? You told me you got someone pregnant but didn't bother to tell me who it was." Natasha walked towards the door and opened it. "Get out. I don't want to see you again. Get the hell out and don't come back." Once he was out the door she slammed it shut and fell to her knees.

"Steve, please!" Natasha sobbed and shot up from the bed. She placed and hand on her protruding belly. Looking around she realised her boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. If he'd disappeared he'd left no note. She looked over at the alarm on her beside table and groaned 10:15. _God damnit I thought they would've woken me up!_

Natasha stumbled out of bed and changed into a flowing maternity dress. Placing a hand on her back, she walked out of her room and into the corridor's of Avengers tower; not noticing the broken window or blood stains on the floor.

"Guys?" She called when she got to the dining hall. No one looked up from the CCTV screen. "What we looking at?" She asked and sat down next to Wanda.

"Have you checked your room?" Wanda asked and took Natasha's hand into her own. "No, why?"

"Someone broke in, they drugged Steve and took him. We don't know where but it was a HYDRA agent." Peter explained. Natasha's eyes began to water and the worst scenario's came into her head.

"What? How…" Her voice trailed off as a wave of pain shot through her. "No. Fuck, not now." She whispered and put a hand on her back.

"Nat? You ok?" Peter asked. "No, the baby is coming." She hissed as another contraction started. "Wanda, help me to the medical wing, the rest of you start looking for Steve." She got up and Wanda helped her out of the room.

"Ok, one more push. He's almost here." Cho said. Natasha gripped Wanda's hand and pushed. Then she heard a crying. She threw her head back onto the pillow and Wanda let go of her hand and handed her her son.

"Steve is gonna be pissed he missed this." Natasha said and tears fell on her cheeks as she fussed over her baby. "What are you going to call him?"

"James. James Clinton Rogers." She whispered and kissed her son. "Hi, baby. Mommy loves you a lot and so does your daddy. He doesn't know you're here yet because he's not here but I can tell her loves you a lot."

"Your Auntie Wanda loves you a lot too." Wanda said and held onto her nephew's hand. "Your other Uncles and aunties will love you a lot as well." Natasha whispered as her son started to cry.

"Oh baby, please don't cry. Mommy's here for you." She whispered and Wanda began laughing. "What?"

"I'm sorry… I just never thought I'd see THE Black Widow talking to a baby." Wanda said between laughs. "Oh." Natasha said and began laughing too.

* * *

"Well, well, well. Look who it is." Steve heard someone talking but his eyes wouldn't open. "You know Garrett, I think he needs to wake up." Steve jumped as an electric course ran through him.

His eyes shot open and he saw that he was in a room with two other men, one of whom must be Garrett. "What do you want?" He hissed but a stab of pain shot through his side.

"Oh, we just want some information." The other man hissed. "Well, you won't be getting any."

"Oh I think we will. Ward." Garrett said. Steve looked up at the two men and saw live footage of more HYDRA agents torturing Natasha.

"No, no it's not real. It's fake." Steve kept telling himself. There was no way Natasha would get caught. "No, no please. You can't. Steve, Steve if you're watching this please don't give anything away. I'm still at the facility." Just then Tony burst through the wall into the frame.

He knocked out the HYDRA agents that had been holding Natasha and she fell into him. "Did you find him?"

"Yes, Wanda's looking after him. He's fine. Cho will check him over when you get back to the hospital." Tony said and began dragging her away.

"Wait, no. I want to find Steve." Tony mumbled something that Steve couldn't hear but Natasha shouted back, "I don't give a shit if I've just had a baby, I want to find my boyfriend." Steve stopped breathing, she'd had the baby and he'd missed it?

He didn't know if she could hear or see him but it was worth a try. "Nat?"

"Steve? Steve where are you? I can hear you please just tell me where you are." Natasha pleaded, tears escaping her eyes.

"Hey, hey calm down. I'm ok-ish. I can see you. I'm at a HYDRA base with two men called Garrett and Ward. Don't come find me, get everyone else to. You need to stay with our son." Steve wanted to say but a jolt of pain shot through him and he screamed.

"Steve, Steve are you ok?" He could see Natasha's tears slipping down her face, and then it all went black.

* * *

"Tony, please we have to go find him." Natasha pleaded as he pulled her to the hospital. "We will. You won't. You need to recover and look after your child. Peter can stay with you."

"Fine." Natasha gave in when she saw her baby. Rushing over to him she picked him up and cuddled him. "Hi James. You're ok, mommy's here."

"Umm. Natasha, you need to be checked over." Cho said. Natasha nodded and gave her baby to Tony. After a painstakingly long check up, Natasha was finally settled in the basement because it was the safest place in the entire tower.

"Nat, they've all left to find him." Peter said as he walked into the basement with trays and trays of food. "Wow that's a hella lotta food."

"Yeah but we don't know how long we're gonna be stuck in here." Peter said and sat down on the sofa. "Tony's done a great job refurbishing this place." Natasha said as she lay James in his cot.

Natasha was right, he had. There were two beds, a cot, and oven. It was basically a scaled down version of the tower in the basement that wasn't on the blue prints. "Are you ok Peter? You look worried."

"I'm fine, just worried if anyone will find us."

"We'll be fine. I may have just had a baby but I can still snap someone's neck if needs be." Natasha joked but they both knew she was completely serious. "Ok, ok. I'll make sure not to get on your bad side."

"Good." Nat said as she grabbed a bar of chocolate and lay back on the sofa before putting on a film for them to watch.


	39. Chapter 39

**Merry late Christmas guys!**

"Mr Rogers, we need you to leave here. The Avengers are here." Ward said as he untangled Steve's chains. Steve, who was pretending to be unconscious, waited until they had undone him before punching Ward square in the jaw.

"Ward, are you ok in there?" Garrett asked from outside the door. Steve grunted before knocking Ward out fully. "Ward, seriously the hurry the fuck up." Steve felt someone shaking the door and then it was knocked down.

* * *

Natasha awoke to someone shaking her awake. "Wh- Peter, you ok?" She woke up quickly when she heard the sound of her son crying. She shot up and bashed her head against Peter's. "Sorry. James won't stop crying."

Natasha laughed and then remembered her son was crying. She got off the bed and walked over to her son. Picking him up she began to feed him and talk to him. She turned around when she was done and saw Peter still sitting on his bed watching _Stranger Things._

"Peter, honey, have you slept at all since we got in here?" She asked as she sat on her bed with her beautiful baby boy in her lap. "Nope. Just finished 5 episodes." He said both sleepily and hyperactively. "Ok." She said and began to sing to both her son and Peter.

 _Котя, котенька, коток,_ _Котя – серенький хвосток,_ _Приди, котя, ночевать,_ _Нашу деточку качать,_ _Уж как я тебе, коту,_ _За работу заплачу –_ _Дам кусок пирога_ _Да кувшин молока!_

She looked down at her son once she'd finished and saw that he was fast asleep, as was Peter. She laughed at the both of them before turning off Netflix. She laid James down in his cot and laying down to sleep.

* * *

"Steve! Oh my God! Are you ok?" Wanda said as she ran through the door. "Yeah." He said as he swayed on his feet. "Yeah…no I'm fine."

"Yeah, you're not fine." Wanda said as she used her powers to help him up right. "Come on. You need to get back to the jet."

"No. I need to fight HYDRA. They kidnapped me, took me away from my girl and son and then spent a good couple of hours torturing me so I need to kill them." Steve said, his serum making him regain his strength.

"No, St-" Before Wanda could even finish her sentence; Steve had shot out the door.

* * *

"Moye malen'koye chudo, wake up." She whispered to her son. "No? Ok, then chudo. I'll leave you to sleep." She looked up when she heard Peter laughing at her.

"I swear if you say, 'I never thought I'd see THE Black Widow talking to a baby.' I will kill you." She warned. That effectively shut Peter up. "Ok, ok. You and Steve are going to make great parents." Natasha began to tear up as she thought of Steve in that place.

"Shit- please stop crying. Please, I didn't mean it." Peter flustered. "No, no it's fine. I just don't want to think about Steve until I know he's out of that place." She whispered. Peter nodded. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Nah- I'd rather watch a bootleg of a musical. Steve promised he'd take me to Broadway." She said with a smile on her face. "Ya know, it doesn't really surprise me that the Black Widow wants to break the rules and watch an illegal video."

"Oh, shut up!" Nat laughed and they settled down to watch Bonnie and Clyde.

* * *

Steve punched a man in the guts and he fell to the floor. He turned a corner and saw Tony, Clint and Thor fighting a bunch of HYDRA agents. "Steve, behind." Thor screamed.

Steve nodded and elbowed an agent in the guts. "DUCK!" Wanda screamed and a second later a man flew through the air, knocking out most of the men. "Nice." Steve was impressed.

"You saw me move a entire truck and this is what impresses you?"

"No! Yes! I've been stuck in a room being tortured so allow me to be impressed!" He shouted as he broke a man's jaw and leg.

* * *

 _Dyin' ain't so bad_

 _Not if you both go together_

 _Only when one's left behind does it get sad_

 _But a short and lovin' life_

 _It ain't so bad_

 _I only hope to God that I go first_

 _I couldn't live on memories_

 _I'm sorry but I'm not that strong_

Nat sat there and let the lyrics sink in. She was like Bonnie in this song in so many ways. She couldn't live without Steve and Bonnie couldn't live without Clyde. She let a few traitor tears slip down her face before she wiped them away when her son started to cry.

"Moye chudo. Pozhaluysta, ne plach'." She said as she picked him up and began feeding. "Do you miss your daddy?" She asked her son. "Me too, chudo, me too."

"Nat, why have you suddenly started speaking Russian?" Peter asked as he stuffed his face full of chips. "I don't know. I want him to learn both languages. I was brought up learn Russian and sometimes I find speaking my native language makes me feel better." She stopped before smiling.

"It's cos you can swear infront of Steve and he won't say language, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Nat laughed. "I miss him. God! He's only been gone for less than a day and I already miss him."

* * *

Every HYDRA agent was sprawled on the floor, either unconscious or dead. No one had any serious injuries, well apart from Steve, but that was understandable, he had been being tortured for about 13 hours.

"Guys, come on. I need to get back to Nat." Steve said as his vision began to blur. "Wanda quick." Was the last thing he heard before he lost all consciousness. They took him straight to the ER as soon as they got back. He got hooked up to a drip.

They didn't want to tell Nat yet; they wanted to surprise her and not worry her. So they kept it quiet.

* * *

"We've been down here for ages. Nat please I want to go upstairs. I want to go outside! PLEASE!" He begged.

"I'm sorry you can't. We don't know whether HYDRA is still out there and where Steve is." Natasha said and began to tear up. Peter nodded and hugged Natasha. He looked up and saw Steve standing in the doorway. A stitched up gash on his forehead, but he was alive.

Steve saw Natasha hug Peter and when Peter saw him, he put his finger to his lips as he walked into the room.

 _Awww, my son is so cute._ He thought as he picked him up. "James." He saw Peter mouth. Steve nodded. Peter and Natasha broke apart but she still had her back to him.

He hugged his son before gently settling him back in his cot. "You know, you should really keep an eye on your son. You never now who might take him." Natasha spun around and ran into Steve's arms.

"I missed so so much. Please never get kidnapped ever again." She said as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. Steve kissed, her forehead repeatedly as she cried into his neck. "Nat. I love you, and our little son."

 **Sorry that this update was really late but school has not been great. Also, the Russian I used in this chapter was taken from google translate so I'm sorry if it's inaccurate.**


	40. Chapter 40

"Ok. I'm out." Peter said. "Welcome back Steve." He said as he charged out of the basement and into the rest of the tower.

Steve smiled to himself and picked Natasha up. "I love you." Natasha said as she pressed her lips against his. "Are you ok? You need to go to the hospital?" She fussed over him and began to check him over.

"No, I'm fine. They wouldn't let me out of the hospital for a week. I'm sorry." Steve said as her face fell. "Are you ok?"

"Why wouldn't they let me see you, or even tell me? I was left to believe that you were dead! I thought you'd died. I haven't slept for a week because I didn't know if you were alive." She sobbed out. Steve took her hands and kissed them.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" Steve asked as he bent down to pick up his son. "Hi James. It's your daddy." He spoke to his son whilst Natasha began to pack up. "I'm so so so sorry I wasn't there when he was born. I'm so sorry I didn't try to fight the HYDRA agents. I-"

She cut him off. "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're back and safe." She took her son from his father and kissed James' head. She yawned and began to sway on her feet.

"Ok, you're going up to bed. Come on." Steve wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her up to their room. He placed James in his bassinet and helped Natasha change. "Stay till I go to sleep. Please." Natasha begged. "You don't need to ask. I'm going to leave once you're asleep because I need to talk to Wanda for advice on something but I'll stay till you're asleep. I promise. I love you so much." Steve kissed her forehead and then her lips.

"Thank you. I love you too." Natasha said and placed her head on his lap. He began to run his fingers through her hair. He stopped once she was asleep. Slowly, gently, he laid her head on the pillows and kissed her temple.

Then, he walked over and looked at his son, sleeping peacefully. "Hey James. Your mommy is very tired so please try not to wake her up if you wake up." Steve said.

"JARVIS, could you please notify me if either Agent Romanoff or my son wake up?"

"Will do Captain Rogers." JARVIS said. Steve walked out of the room and into the common room. "Ah! Capsicle!"

"What do you want Tony? I really need to talk to Wanda." Steve said as he sat on the sofa next to Wanda. "What's up?" Wanda said as she flicked off the TV. "Oi! I was watching that." Clint shouted.

"I don't care." Wanda hissed back. "What's up?"

"I want to propose to Nat but I don't how to." Steve confessed and Wanda nearly screamed. "You want to-! OH MY GOD! Please let me help you! Please!"

"What is with all the screaming?" Tony asked and Clint nodded. "Steve, they can all help. Please let them help." Wanda begged. "Ok fine."

"What's with the screaming and shouting?" Pepper asked as she walked into the room, Maria in tow. "Stevie boy is keeping something from us and only our resident Scarlet Witch knows." Tony huffed.

"Ok, I really want to propose to Natasha but I don't know how." Steve said and Pepper put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from squealing. "Fucking finally. I thought you were never going to. I thought I was going to have to do it for you." Maria said as she perched on the arm of the couch.

"I have one idea but I don't know." Steve said and everyone turned back to him. "A couple of months ago I promised I'd take her to Broadway." Wanda smiled. "Great idea. Go see something on Broadway, then take her to a nice restaurant or something." Clint suggested.

"Just, don't let the press get wind of this. They still don't know you guys are together." Maria added.

"What about the ring?" Tony asked, "I have someone who can hook you up."

"Mr. Stark, you do realise that makes you sound like a drug dealer." Peter said walking into the room.

"I already have a ring." Steve said. "Well, I want to see it." The girls demanded. "I'll go and get it. Be right back." Steve got of the couch and went to his room. Popping his head around the door, he checked to see if either of them were awake.

"Nat, honey?" He whispered, no answer. So he walked into the room and knelt down to feel under the bed. He moved his hand around until he found the one single floorboard that was loose. He pulled it out and grabbed the small red velvet box.

He pocketed it when he heard Natasha mumbling something on the bed. He put back the floorboard before standing up and looking at Natasha. "Baby, you ok?" He asked before she began to shake.

Steve grabbed her shoulders and began to shake her awake. "Natasha, wake up. You'll wake up James." He pleaded and kissed all over her face. Her eyes shot open and she looked around the room. "Steve? You're still here?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around him. "Yes Nat. I'm still here baby. You're ok. Nobody can hurt you."

Steve kissed her temple. "Do you want to come down and see if you can sleep better while I'm down there?" Steve asked and Natasha nodded. She picked up her son and together the family walked downstairs.

"Do you have it?" Wanda called before she saw Natasha. "Yeah. Found it." Tony said and passed her the remote. "Thanks."

Steve sat down on the couch. And Natasha sat next to him. Seeing that she was about to fall asleep, Pepper took her son and began to cradle him. Natasha laid her head on Steve's chest and fell asleep.

"So let's see it." Wanda whispered. Steve nodded and handed her the box. Wanda opened it and gasped. "Oh my God! Steve, this is beautiful." Wanda whispered. "It has been handed down for ages. It is the only thing I have left of my of my family." Steve admitted.

"Natasha's gonna love it." Wanda said. "Let me see." Clint made grabby hands for it and Wanda handed it over. "Ok, this is some much like something she would get herself."

The ring was a gold band with small green gemstones set on it with a blue sapphire set in the middle. Natasha began to move around on her seat so she was sitting on his lap. Everyone laughed.

"Wanda, could you look after it. Seeing as I live with a super spy I feel like she can find it." Steve laughed. "Sure, I'll keep an eye on it." Wanda said and pocketed the box.

"So, what do you want see?" Tony asked as he got JARVIS to pull up all the new musicals. "Uh, _Hamilton_?"

"Yeah. She listened to that soundtrack on repeat whilst the two of us were stuck in the basement." Peter laughed. "Ok. Stevie boy, I can get you two seats right at the front." Tony said. "Tony, are you sure?"

"Yes, of course! Anything for my favourite couple." Tony said happily. "Ok, what date?"

"Uh, 26th April?"

"Yeah, that's free. And… they're booked! You guys are going on a date and getting engaged in a month!" Tony screamed but thankfully Natasha didn't wake up.

After a while, James began to cry and that was what woke Natasha up. "Hi chudo. You hungry?" She asked and took her son from Pepper.


	41. Chapter 41

"Steve where are we going?" Natasha asked as a blindfold was placed over her eyes. "It's a surprise." Steve said and pecked her lips. "Wanda." Steve said and Wanda handed over the ring she had been keeping safe for the past month.

"Thank you." Steve said and helped Natasha onto the car. Steve smiled to himself when he saw Natasha's dress properly. It was pale blue and stopped just above her knees. She looked beautiful.

"Steve, PLEASE tell me where we're going." Natasha begged and tried to pull her blindfold. "You can take it off because the windows are blackouts." Steve said and helped her with the blindfold.

"Nice!" Natasha exclaimed and crawled over to him. "Who's looking after James?" She asked suddenly. "Tony." Steve lied, he wanted to see Natasha's reaction. "What? No, no! Turn this limo around! Steve I swear to GOD!" Natasha shouted.

"Wanda and Peter have him. Don't worry baby." Steve said. Natasha slapped him lightly before sitting in his lap. "I'm tired. Where are we going?" Natasha begged.

"No. JARVIS, who long we got?" Steve asked as Natasha yawned. "We're 1 hour away from our destination." The AI informed them. "Why, are we going somewhere so far away?!" Nat shouted.

"You'll understand when we get there." Steve said. "You could probably go to sleep, I'll wake you up before we get there." Natasha nodded and rested her head on his chest. "Steve, thank you." Natasha said before hugging why. "Why?"

"Thank you for keeping me safe and being the best boyfriend ever. I love you so much." Natasha said. "I love you too." Steve said and kissed her head.

"Natasha. Baby, wake up. We're here." Steve shook awake his girlfriend. "Put the blindfold back on honey." Steve said. Natasha nodded and put her blindfold back on.

Steve explained what was happening to the security guard in front of the theatre. He understood and let them into the theatre. Steve found their seats and still wouldn't let Natasha take her blindfold off until the show started.

The lights dimmed and finally Natasha was allowed to remove her blindfold. The stage read _HAMILTON_ in bold letters on the front of the stage. "No." Natasha said before turning to face Steve who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh my God!" Natasha whispered. "Steve!" Natasha leant over the arm rested and kissed him. "Thank you."

"Hey, I promised I'd take you to Broadway. I'm just fulfilling that promise." Steve hugged her. "Thank you." Natasha said and removed the armrest so she could snuggle into his chest.

Steve smiled and kissed the top of her head as the musical started. Steve put his hand in his pocket and felt the ring box.

At the interval Natasha was buzzing and Steve went to get ice cream to try and calm her down. "Thank you, Steve. So much." Natasha said as he handed her the ice cream.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's fine." Steve said. Natasha kissed him repeatedly until someone behind them cleared their throat. "Sorry." Steve said. "Oh my God! You're Black Widow!" The man exclaimed. "Sh!" Steve said. "And you're Captain America!" 

"Please sir. Shush." Natasha said. "Why should I? The press really wants information about the two of you!" The man said and got his phone out. Natasha gasped and buried her head in Steve's chest.

Steve wrapped an arm around his girlfriend as the lights dimmed.

Halfway through the second act, Steve turned around and saw Natasha crying and he smiled to himself. Admittedly, he was crying as well. I mean, who wouldn't be! Philip was dying!

By the end of the musical Natasha was non-stop crying! "Come on. Let's get out of here. We don't want to draw even more attention." Steve said and they hurried out of the theatre.

Once they were in the car, Natasha let out breath and moved to sit on top of Steve. "So, how did you like the date?" Steve asked.

"It was fucking amazing! Thank you so much!" Natasha said and hugged her boyfriend tightly. "Where are we going now?" Natasha asked.

" _Le coucou._ " Steve said. "How far away is it?" Natasha asked and Steve could practically see her eyelid droop. "'Bout half an hour. Go to sleep, you haven't had a good night's sleep since before James was born."

Natasha nodded and nestled her head in the crook of his neck. Steve smiled to himself and picked up his phone. He opened twitter and scrolled through it.

' **OMG, I just saw the Black Widow and Captain America making out at Broadway! R they rlly dating? But is she rlly good enough for America's golden boy. #** _ **Isshegoodenough #Notgoodenough**_ **'** Someone had sent.

Another said: ' **Is Black Widow still working for the enemy? There is no way Captain America could fall for a Russian, broken assassin.** _ **#DisgustingWidow #Isshegoodenough #Notgoodenough'**_

Steve continued to scroll through the hashtags and hoped Natasha wouldn't see them. He read some news articles as well. All because one person sent a tweet. Oh, wait no. It was because they were in a theatre full of people. Steve, nor Natasha, exactly minded if the public knew they were dating but the press had never truly liked Nat and these articles and tweets didn't help.

Then he saw one the truly infuriated him: ' **Wait what? My girlfriend is cheating on me? WTF? Natasha Romanoff, you are such a cheater. Tbh I'm not surprised. She always was unstable.** _ **#Romanoffthecheater #Notgoodenough**_ '

Steve hissed at his phone. Natasha was most certainly not a cheater! And she was good enough. Steve shut his phone off and shook Natasha awake because they were there.

"Come on." Steve said and helped her out of the car. They were hit with lots of flashes and microphones being stuck in their faces. Steve sighed and grabbed Natasha's hand and pulled her through the thrum of paparazzi into the restaurant.

"Steve, how did they know where we were going?" Natasha asked sheepishly when they were seated. "You know the guy who took photos of us in the theatre?" Steve asked as he looked at the menu.

"Yeah?"

"He posted the photos on twitter and tweeted some stuff about it. It's really rude and then Bruce got involved and called you a cheater." Steve explained.

Natasha let it sink in. Of course people hate me. No one wants a broken Russian assassin with fucking problems dating THE Captain America, their golden boy.

Natasha began to tear up. "Let me see them. Let me see the tweets and articles." Natasha begged. Steve sighed before handing her his phone. "Fine, but please know that none of it is true. You deserve me and I deserve you." Steve said.

Natasha scrolled through the texts and felt tears drip down her face. "I'm sorry I ruined your life Steve." Natasha said. "You didn't ruin my life baby. You made it better." Steve said and grabbed her hand.

"Before anything happens I want to ask you this- to show how much I love you and how much better you have made my life. Natasha Romanoff, will you marry me?" Steve asked as he got down on one knee and revealed a beautiful ring.

"No. No, I don't want to ruin your life." Natasha said and ran out of the restaurant. Slowly, Steve stood up and tried to force back tears. She did it, she actually left him all because of Bruce.

He apologised to the waiter before running out of the restaurant. Again, he was hit with cameras and microphones in his face but he didn't care. He barged his way through the sea of nosy people, who have nothing better to do with their lives, and called out Natasha's name.

Steve got to where the limo was meant to be parked and found that it had disappeared. Natasha must've taken it. Sighing, he hailed a cab and started a long, lonely drive home.

 ***runs away** *****

 **What do you guys think will happen to their son?**


	42. Chapter 42

"So?" Wanda asked as Steve got back to the base. She looked around him to try and find Nat. "She said no." Steve said. Wanda walked over to him and hugged him.

"Why?" Pepper asked as she handed him his son. "Twitter found out about us. They were really horrible." Steve said. "She said she didn't want to ruin my life."

Steve sighed as he walked up to his room with James in his arms. Steve began to cry as he heard his son cry. "James, your mommy isn't going to be back for a while but I'll look after you."

Wanda stood at his door, watching the super solider cry over his lost girlfriend. She was going to find Nat because there was no way she was going to have three people heart-broken because of a fucking social media site.

Natasha sat in the charred remains of the pizza place and sobbed. There was no way she could go back to her home and Steve, she hurt him when she said 'no' and there was no way he would ever forgive him.

She missed James as well, when she ran away he was only 1 month old; he'd be 2 now. He wouldn't remember her, his own mother. Natasha looked up to check that none of the Avengers were around before she walked out of the burnt shop.

She walked through the mall and sat by the fountain. After a while of debating what she should eat tonight and decided on sushi. She walked into the shop and bought some of the cheapest shit because she hardly had any money, all her stuff was at the Tower.

She walked towards the escalator and began to let her eyes water when she remembered the last time she was on this escalator, with Steve.

Once she got to the bottom, someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into the ladies bathroom. "What the hell Natasha?" Wanda shouted. Natasha stood there and stared at Wanda who was holding her son.

"Why have you left the tower? Why did you say no?"

"I'm gonna ruin his life. He can't be with someone as broken as me, he needs to be with someone who won't ruin him." Natasha cried and stared at her son. Wanda saw and handed her James.

"Jamie, hi baby. I missed you. I'm sorry I didn't come to see you. I'm so sorry." She sobbed and held her son.

"Natasha! Do you not understand how much you've hurt Steve? The only reason he's eating is because of his son. You hurt him so much when you said no, yet he'd take you back in a heartbeat."

Natasha just stood there, hurt and confused. Why would he take her back, she had hurt him. "I didn't want to hurt him, I really didn't."

"So why did you say no?" Wanda already knew but she wanted to hear why from Natasha. "Because I was going to ruin his life. I love him so much but I don't want him to have a shitty life because of me."

"He doesn't care what the press think. He only cares what you and your son think. He wants you back but only if you want him back." Steve wanted her back he only wanted her. He didn't care what the press thought.

"Wanda. I want-" Natasha tried to speak but began to cry before she could finish. "You want to go back to him don't you?" Natasha nodded.

"Thank God. I miss you so much." Wanda hugged Natasha tightly. "I can't go back to him so quickly."

"Yes you fucking can. The night after you left he expected you to come back, he didn't sleep that week just in case. Natasha, you broke him."

Natasha held her son close to her as Wanda got out her phone. "Clint, she wants to come back."

"I knew she would." Nat heard him say over the phone. "Tell everyone but Steve. He needs to be surprised."

"Ok, bye. See you back in a couple of hours."

"Bye Clint." Wanda said and hung up the phone. "Thank you Wanda. I'm such a coward; I got affected by some shit from Twitter. I miss Steve, I miss my son, and I miss my home."

"You can come home, you have your son back and we just need you to get Steve back and Steve needs you back. Where have you been staying for 5 weeks?" Wanda asked as they walked out of the bathroom.

"Here and there." Natasha said, not wanting to say she'd been living around the mall, there was no way she'd tell anyone how broken she had been for the past month.

"Where is 'here and there'?" Wanda asked. Natasha stopped when they got to the car. Cameras were being shoved into her face. "Fuck off!" She shouted as she handed Wanda her son.

"Go back to the tower. I need to talk to the press." Wanda nodded and made her way back to the tower. "Hey Steve. What you watching?"

"Someone found Natasha and she's answering press questions." Steve smiled sadly, this was the last time he saw Natasha, she said no and walked out the restaurant. He'd take her back because he knew she still loved him. She'd only said no because she cared about his reputation with the press.

"Black Widow, after news got out that you and Captain America were dating and people were personally attacking you, what's your opinion on that?"

Steve sighed. He knew what she was going to say. "It's none of your business. I regret not listening to the love of my life. He told me that I should not listen them, but I ignored him and that was the worst mistake I ever made." 

"And, if you could, what would you say to those people that attacked you?"

"I would tell them to mind their own business. I got hurt and so did Steve and regret that. It's none of their business what I do or who I date so yeah. They can go fuck themselves." Steve laughed.

"Bruce Banner said that you were already dating him and that cheated with Captain America, is that true?"

"Yeah, no. I broke up with him before I got with Steve. Over the next couple of months he tried to break us up. So did Sharon, she messed with the both of us and spread rumours around the tower." Natasha said and began to walk away.

"Now, if you will excuse me, even though I know you won't- I'm going home." Steve looked around and saw that the other Avengers had left. "JARVIS, where are the other Avengers?"

"They left with your son. They thought you needed to time to process what Agent Romanoff said to the press." They were right; he needed to think it over.

Natasha walked through the door of Avengers Tower and took a deep breath. She was scared, so so scared. She hoped Wanda was right and he wasn't mad at her. What was she saying; of course he was mad at her. How could he not be mad at her?

She walked into the common area and froze. Steve was sitting there, re-watching her press interview with tears in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she whispered his name. He didn't hear her.

"Steve?"


	43. Chapter 43

Steve didn't believe what he was hearing. She wasn't here; he had to resist the urge to turn his head. He still sat there and turned off her press interviews. She wasn't there she wasn't in the Tower. She was running away from the mall and the press.

Natasha stood there, he was ignoring her. "Steve?" She called again, voice shaky. She was going to kill Wanda; of course Steve hated her. She stared at the back of his head and the TV. "Steve please." She whispered again. She knew the rest of the Avengers were waiting outside of the Tower. She was going to kill all of them. She turned on her heel and walked out of the tower.

Steve kept hearing her talking so he turned his head. He spotted a flash of red hair and shot up from his seat. He ran to the window and saw her walking to the quinjet.

"Wanda?" She called her voice broken. "Clint?"

"Yeah. Hey did you guys get back together?" Wanda asked and they came out and handed her James. Natasha wiped her eyes and shook her head. "He ignored me. He wouldn't even look at me."

Clint pulled her into a hug and swore that he was going to kill Steve. "I'm sure he didn't." Wanda didn't believe that Steve was going to be that horrible. Natasha pulled back from Clint and nodded.

"I called his name and he just ignored me." Natasha cried. She held her son closer to her, finding it a source of comfort. "Hi Jamie. Mummy's missed you."

"I'm going to talk to him." Wanda said and kissed James forehead. Natasha nodded and sat on one of the cots in the quinjet. "Where are the rest of them?"

"We're here, Lady Natasha." Thor said and walked out from the pilot station, followed by Peter and Tony. "Hey Nattie." Tony said, trying to lift the mood and failing. Peter didn't say anything and ran to hug her. "Hey kid."

"Why did you leave? Why did you decline Steve?" Peter cried. Natasha smiled and kissed his forehead. "I don't know the answer to either of these questions. I regret it. I didn't want to ruin his life."

"But you ruined his life by leaving. He misses you like crazy." Tony said and Natasha nodded. "I know. I miss him like hell and Wanda said he missed me too, but he just ignored me." Tony sighed, one of his bestfriends was being a bitch to the woman he loved more than anything, and boy was he going to shout at Steve.

"Nat, do you want to stay at the tower or not?" Peter asked. "No. I'll stay where I've been staying for the past 5 weeks."

"Where have you been staying?" Thor asked. Natasha sighed; there was no way she was telling people that she was living at the mall. "Uh, like I told Wanda, here and there."

"So you've been living at the mall?" Clint asked Natasha nodded shyly. James began to cry and Natasha held onto his small finger lightly. "I'm gonna feed him." Natasha said and walked into the quinjet bathroom.

After she was done feeding her son, she pulled up her sleeves and saw the new cuts and scars on her arms. She sighed and ran her fingers over them. It hurt as some of them were this mornings but she didn't mind. "Nat?" Wanda asked in disbelief.

"Fuck." Nat whispered and pulled down her sleeves. "Nat, I thought you'd stopped. I thought, oh." Wanda said, the realisation hitting her like a brick. "It's because of Steve isn't it?"

"Yeah. He was the one that helped me stop and now he's the reason I'm doing it." She whispered. Wanda saw the assassin mask crumble.

"Did you talk to Steve?" Natasha asked, her voice barely audible. She didn't truly want to know the answer. It was going to be that he hates her and there was no way they were getting back together.

"Yeah, yeah I did." Wanda said. She didn't want to say what she saw. It was horrible. The press broke the both of them. Wanda could tell that Natasha didn't want to know the answer so instead of telling her she dragged her out of the bathroom and into the main space. "Nat, I'm going to take you to mine because I'm not having you live at the mall and self-harming. They'll look after you."

"Clint, no. I don't want to see them, they ask me where Steve is." She said horrified. Before she knew what was happening she was being dragged out of the quinjet and into another quinjet. She looked up at the Tower and saw Steve looking at her, she smiled at him. She tried to protest. She wanted to talk to Steve before she left.

"No. Steve's up there I want to talk to him." Natasha begged and kicked Tony in the stomach. Tony stumbled back and laughed. "Even when holding a baby you could still probably kill someone."

"Yeah. I want to talk to Steve." She whispered. "Do you want me to come with?"

"Yeah."

Steve saw Natasha roundhouse kick Tony, whilst holding their son and he couldn't help but let out a shaky laugh. She'd seen him watching from the window and then she tried to fight them. He saw her talking to Wanda and they walked over to the door.

Steve took a deep breath and walked up to his room. He didn't want to see Natasha if she was going to break up with him. He knew what she was going to say; she'd said it multiple times before.

He sat on their bed and read _Twilight_. He saw tear drops inside her book. He'd re-read it multiple times since she left. It was her favourite book and she'd read it multiple times as well. He looked up and wiped his eyes when he had heard a knock on the door.

"Steve? Please open the door. We want to talk to you." Wanda begged through the door. He knew he couldn't ignore them anymore so he opened the door for them. 

Natasha saw Steve and Wanda grabbed her arm to stop her running and hugging him. "Hi." She whispered lightly. He couldn't look at her or he would run to hug her. "Steve, please look at me." She whispered.

He shook his head, still looking down at the floor. He saw her arms; her sleeves hadn't been pulled down fully. He saw the cuts and scars on her arms. They were obviously because of him. Now he truly couldn't look her in the eye. He was the reason for her pain.

He turned around so his back was to them and walked to the bed. "Steve, why won't you talk to me?" Natasha asked, he could tell that she was crying.

"He can't. Or he doesn't want to look at you." Wanda exclaimed and he could tell she was looking into his mind. "He wants to, but he thinks if he does he'll hug you and he believes you want to tell him it's over. He thinks you're gonna take your son away from him." Wanda paused and Natasha took a breath. "He's seen your arm and is blaming himself for the fact you're hurting your self." Wanda finished.

Natasha took a deep breath and hugged her son tightly. "I'm sorry Natasha."

"I'll leave you to it." Wanda said before hugging Natasha and walking out the room.


	44. Chapter 44

Natasha stood in the doorway, waiting to be invited in but it looked like Steve wasn't going to do that. "Can I come in?"

"Are you going to break up with me and take our son away from me?" He sounded so hurt Natasha wanted to cry. Natasha shook her head and walked into their room. She handed him James and sat on the bed.

"Steve, you have to look at me. Please?" Natasha choked out, her tears visible. "Fine, if you won't talk to me, I'll talk to you." She paused and looked up at him, hoping he would speak, or smile, or do something to acknowledge her presence.

"I'm sorry. I really, really am. I regret not saying yes because then we wouldn't of had to do through these past weeks. I miss you and my son like crazy and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I-I just didn't want to ruin your life. You're America's golden boy and I'm a Russian spy, it would've hurt your reputation and I don't want that for you."

Natasha explained everything but she left out one tiny detail; that she still loved him. She didn't want to tell him that in case he no longer loved her.

"I understand all that. And I don't care. I don't care that it will ruin my reputation, I don't care that you think it will 'ruin my life'. All I want to know is if you still love me. I want to know if you still want to be with me. Because I still want to be with you. I still love you. I love you so much Nat."

Steve finally looked at her and smiled shyly. Natasha looked around the room and wiped her eyes. He still loved her. She nodded her head and stood up. "You know the answer to that question."

"Technically, it was a statement." Steve quipped and she smiled, brightly. "Come here." He said and opened his arms for her. Natasha looked at James who had been placed in his cot before running into Steve's arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry."

"Nat, please stop apologising. It is not your fault." Steve said as he kissed the top if her head. Natasha cried into his shoulder and apologised over and over again. Steve placed his fingers under her chin and tilted it up so he could look into his eyes.

Natasha reached her face up and kissed his lips. They both smiled into the kiss and Natasha licked at the seam of his. He let her tongue in his mouth and she explored it. His hands travelled to her waist and hers wound themselves around his neck.

"Nat, should we stop?" Steve asked when they landed on the bed and his hands were on her ass. Natasha broke away from the kiss and rolled onto his side. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Steve, I really am sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but I am sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you, or anyone on this team. I am so sorry. I don't expect you to want to get back together because I'm unstable and untrustworthy." Natasha sobbed and walked to the other side of the room. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at Steve.

"Nat, Nat. Please calm down. Did you not listen to what I just said? I want to be with you. Can we just forget about it? Please?" Steve begged whilst getting up and walking to stand in front of her.

"I won't be able to forget it. I haven't slept because every time I do I think about it. I remember the hurt on your face like it was yesterday." Steve sighed and pulled her closer to him.

"I will help you through it but please don't leave me again, I can't take it. These past few months have been like hell and I still love you, through it all. Please come back to me?" Natasha looked into his eyes ad saw that he was being serious, what was she saying? Of course he was being serious, he all was and he never, ever lied to her.

She nodded timidly and buried her head in his chest, "I'll stay, but even if you've forgiven me, I still can't forgive myself for the pain I caused you. I'm sorry Steve, I'm so sorry." Natasha whispered into his chest.

"Come on baby. I'll help you forgive yourself but first," He paused and looked out of the window and saw the darkening sky. "We should sleep, you'll tire yourself out if you keep this up."

Natasha nodded and walked to their closet to change, she slipped into one of his tops and boxers. She walked out and joined Steve in the bed, who was already half asleep. "We can talk about this all tomorrow, for now, just know that I love you and that we can get through this." Steve said lazily.

"I know we can, I know." She said and kissed him before placing her head on his chest and fell asleep, with his arms wrapped around her and their legs entangled.

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to post, I've been busy. Anyway, thanks for reading and all your reviews and favs!**


	45. Chapter 45

Natasha awoke first and was surprised to find that Steve was still laying next to her. She smiled slightly before untangling herself from him and walking over to see her son. "Hi little baby. Mommy's missed you." Natasha said as she fussed over her son.

She picked him up and cradled him. She began to feed him and moved to sit on the bed. She felt someone move from behind her. She turned and saw that Steve had flipped onto his stomach. She kissed James' head before moving to lie back on the bed.

"Hi little baby, do you miss mommy?" James reached his little hands forward and began to grasp at her hair and fingers. Natasha laughed happily.

Steve opened one eye and saw Natasha playing with their son. He sling one arm over her waist and smiled up at her.

Natasha looked down at him and smiled. "Did little Jamie miss me?"

"Yes, of course he did. I missed you too." Steve admitted and pushed himself up to lean on his elbows. Natasha placed James on Steve's chest before leaning down to kiss him.

"I missed you." Natasha smiled at him.

"Good. Please don't leave again." Steve grabbed her hands and peppered kisses all over them. James reached up and began to try and grab Natasha and Steve's hands.

"Hello James. Would you like attention too?" Natasha asked and kissed his head.

"He got a lot of attention for the past couple of weeks. He kept crying and I had no idea why. I didn't even know why I was crying." Steve admitted and blinked back tears.

"Well, I'm glad you took care of my son. I would be very mad if you treated him badly because I left you."

"What?! I would never treat James badly!" Steve protested. He would never, ever hurt their son; he was the only thing he had left of Natasha after she disappeared.

Natasha looked down at Steve and saw that he had tears in his eyes. She wanted to explain more, tell him exactly what had happened in those weeks.

"I love you." Steve whispered into her hair as she bent down to hug him.

Natasha looked up at him and studied his face. She wanted to know if he was lying. She had no reason not to trust him, but he had every reason not to trust her.

Steve knew she was studying him. He knew she wanted to trust him. He didn't mind if she said it back or not. He knew she did, he knew she loved him. Or She wouldn't have come back to him.

"I love you too." Natasha whispered barely audible.

James laughed when he heard those words and Steve looked up to her. "Did you like that baby? Do you like having your parents back?" Natasha smiled.

"I think he missed you more than anything." Steve said and hugged her.

They both laughed when her stomach rumbled. "I think we should go eat."

"Yeah, but won't it be awkward? I mean, I don't know." Natasha laughed at herself.

"That didn't make any sense baby. James makes more sense." Steve sat up and placed James in his cot.

"Oh shut up." Natasha punched his shoulder playfully. "What I mean is that the Avengers known I'm back, which I'm thankful for. But, I'm pretty sure Tony didn't fire all the female agents, and they probably still think we are together and it could be really awkward."

Steve pulled her into a hug. "It won't be awkward. I made sure the female agents stay away from James and me while you were gone. I knew you would come back."

"I love you. So much." Natasha kissed him and walked into their closet. "You really didn't move anything did you?"

"Nope. I was depressed, I just about had enough strength to get up and go downstairs. I wasn't in a good shape." Steve admitted as he changed.

Natasha felt tears in her eyes; she had caused him so much pain. The pain she felt was nothing compared to his. "I'm so so sorry. I didn't think. I'm so sorry."

Steve grabbed her arms and pulled her against his chest. "It's not your fault." He said as he kissed the top of her head.

"It's just, I was only thinking that you would thank me for it. I didn't think you would be this hurt. I didn't care if I hurt myself. I just wanted to save your reputation. I'm so sorry Steve." Natasha cried.

"No, no. You were just as hurt as I was." Steve traced the scars on her arm. He kissed her temple before moving to grab her a dress. He pulled the dress over her head and twirled her around.

Natasha laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really am sorry Steve."

"I know baby, I know. I love you, Nat."

"I love you too babe."

 **Ok, hi guys! I am so sorry it took me so long to update this. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter and thanks for all the reviews, favs and follows.**


	46. Chapter 46

Natasha took Steve's hand as they made their way down to the dining area. He gripped it tightly to reassure her that he was there for her.

"I love you." Natasha whispered and squeezed his hand back.

"I love you too." Steve said as they walked into the dining area. Heads turned to look at them and a few gasps and whispers broke the silence.

Natasha froze and her hand began to shake. "Hey, shush. It's ok." Steve whispered into her ear and began to walk towards the Avengers table.

Once they got there, everyone greeted her warmly, ignoring what had happened over the past couple of weeks. Natasha snuggled into Steve's side once they had sat down.

"Are you ok, Red?" Tony asked as he went and got breakfast for the couple.

"Yeah. I think so." Natasha said and looked up at Steve. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. Natasha smiled into the kiss before pulling away.

"Nat! You're back!" Peter shouted when he saw the red head. Everyone laughed as Peter ran to hug her.

"You saw me yesterday." Natasha said as she hugged him back.

"I didn't think you'd stay." Peter cried into her shoulder.

"Hey, hey. I'm still here. Look." She said as she released him, "I'm not leaving. Ever again." She admitted with a look at Steve, who smiled.

Peter nodded and went to go and sit next to Wanda. Steve wrapped his arm around Natasha and kissed her forehead. They both heard a click and looked up.

"Tony, what are you doing?" Natasha asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Taking photos, what does it look like Red?" Tony quirked an eyebrow.

"I understand that, my question is why?" Natasha asked and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich.

"Just some mementos." Tony said with a look at Steve. "Stevie, I need to talk to you, like right now." Tony demanded.

Steve raised an eyebrow before untangling himself from Natasha and following Tony. Natasha's eyes followed him.

"What do you want Tony?" Steve asked as he looked back over at Natasha who smiled before continuing to eat her sandwich.

"It'll be Red's birthday in a couple of weeks, what do you want to do for it?" Tony asked as he glared at a couple of agents who had plucked up the courage to try and talk to the both of them.

"Something small. I don't want to stress her, she's just had a baby and got back to the compound." Steve explained, with one eye still on Natasha, who was talking to one of the agents Tony had glared away.

"Ok then. Just a small dinner with the Avengers, Fury, Hill and Pep." Tony said, a small smirk on his face.

Steve nodded and walked back over to Natasha, who hugged him as soon as he sat down. He looked down at her and saw her eyes were glossed over.

She buried her head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. "Baby, what happened?" Natasha just shook her head.

"The agent that Tony scared away came and started insulting Natasha. She was horrible." Wanda explained.

"I'll take her upstairs." Steve helped Natasha up. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. Together they walked out of the dining hall, with Steve occasionally wiping away her tears.

When they got to her room Natasha let go of Steve's hand and ran to pick up her son. Steve walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, planting light kisses on her neck. "Nat?"

She turned in his arms and rested her head against his chest. Steve looked down and saw James playing with his mom's hair.

"I should go." Natasha said and moved out of his hold.

"Whoa, whoa. Natasha, no." Steve grabbed her arm lightly. "Hey, honey. It doesn't matter what everyone else says. It matters what I think and what James thinks."

"But."

"Please no 'buts' honey. You mean the world to me, no matter what any ones says. Whatever that agent said, it's not true. Please believe me, Nat. Please."

Natasha nodded and Steve wiped away her tears. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. "I love you Nat."

"I love you too." Natasha rose up on her toes and kissed him lightly. James moved his hands and grabbed Steve's fingers and pulled them away from where they'd cupped Natasha's face.

"Hey! She's my girlfriend as well!" Steve laughed and kissed their son on the forehead.

"I can already tell he is going to be very protective." Natasha said as she put him on their bed with some toys.

"He takes after me then?" Steve said and gave his son a dinosaur toy.

"Oh, yes. Definitely." Natasha said and leant into Steve's side. "I love you."

"I love you too Nat." Steve said and kissed her.

James turned and looked at his parents and smiled. He began to babble nonsense and reach for his toys.

"Ok, ok. We'll pay attention to you." Natasha laughed and began playing catch with Steve. James tried to reach up and grab the ball.

Natasha looked up and saw Steve staring at her, adoration in his eyes. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff, Wanda would like you to come downstairs and bring her nephew." JARVIS said through the comms.

Natasha laughed and picked up their son.

"Wanda really enjoyed playing with him when you were away." Steve said and they walked out of the room.

"I'm so"

"Nat, baby, please don't apologise. It's fine." Steve pleaded.

"I still feel bad. I left for five weeks, I didn't even try to contact you." Natasha's eyes were gleaming with tears as she looked up at him.

Steve leant down and kissed the bridge of her nose, then her cheeks and then her lips. "You are back now. That's all that matters." Steve kissed her again until James made a noise of discomfort, being squished between them.

"Sorry baby." Natasha said and kissed his nose.

"Can I see my nephew or?" Wanda called from the living room. The couple laughed when a pillow flew by and James tried to grab it.

"Wanda!" Natasha shouted.

"Sorry!" She laughed and made grabby hands at her nephew.

Natasha handed James over and went to sit on the couch. She motioned for Steve to follow her and began to flick through the channels.

"Nat, what do you want to do for your birthday?" Wanda asked as she laid on the floor with James.

Natasha looked up at Steve. "Something small. Dinner maybe?"

"That's what I told Tony when he asked." Steve said and pulled Natasha against his chest.

"Wait, Tony wanted to plan?" Natasha turned to look at him.

"Yeah. He asked about what I wanted to do for your birthday and he said something about dinner with a couple of people." Steve explained and rubbed his hands up and down her arms to calm her down.

"He'll do something stupid, he'll."

"Nat, calm down. I'm sure Steve won't let Tony do something silly." Wanda said, "Also, can we put _Killing Eve_ on. I heard every agent in the tower talking about it and I'm kinda curious about what it is."

Natasha nodded and put the show on. The Russian assassin brought tears to her eyes. She used to be that, enjoying the death, enjoying the pay. Travelling around the world when she worked.

She struggled out of Steve's arm and ran upstairs, ignoring Steve and Wanda's calls.


	47. Chapter 47

Natasha sat on her bed, her arms around her knees rocking slightly. She looked up when she heard a soft knock on the door.

Steve walked in and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't talk, just held her as she cried. He kissed the top of her head before helping her curl around him.

"That used to be me." She whispered, "I used to do that. I used to run around killing people, I used to be paid, I used to enjoy it."

Steve put his fingers under her chin and lifted it up so she could look into his eyes. "The key word in that is used to. You used to be like that. You aren't anymore."

Natasha kissed him lightly before he continued.

"Now, you are a mother, now you are an Avenger, now you are an Agent of SHIELD, and now and forever you are the love of my life." Steve kissed her and wiped her tears.

"I love you too." Natasha whispered, burying her head in his neck again. "Oh my gosh, we left James alone downstairs!" She jumped up but Steve grabbed her arm.

"Sweetheart, we didn't. Wanda's with him." Steve pulled her back against him and wrapped his arms around her. "Calm down."

Natasha laughed and moved to lie on the bed. She patted the bed next to her. "I'm sorry."

"Really Nat? Again?" Steve pretended to be angry. He laid down next to her and allowed her to hug his arm.

"I'm just always worrying that I'm not enough and we left James downstairs, I didn't think he was with Wanda." Natasha whispered and moved so she was lying with her back to him.

"You are enough though. James is fine. Everyone else is fine. We're fine." Steve said and rolled her over to face him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her face.

"I love you." Natasha whispered and kissed him like her life depended on it. She moved to straddle him.

"I love you too baby." Steve moved away, savouring the kiss. "Calm down, as long as you don't plan to run off again we have all the time in the world." Steve sat up and cradled Natasha up against him.

Natasha stared at him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart, I'm joking." Steve whispered and cradled her head.

"You are so not funny." Natasha said and wiped her eyes.

Steve smiled and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry." He said and kissed her forehead. " I love you, you know that right?"

"Yes, I love you too." Natasha whispered and moved away to hug his arm. She rested her head on his shoulder and kissed his bicep tiredly.

Steve asked JARVIS to begin flicking through channels until he found something he wanted to watch. He turned around and saw Natasha was dozing.

"Ok, thanks JARVIS, can you put this on?" Steve asked and looked back down at her. He settled back onto the pillows and Natasha began to mumble.

He looked down at her again to make sure that no nightmares were plaguing her dreams. She began to hug his arm tighter and he kissed her forehead, which made her release her grip on his arm.

"JARVIS, could you please ask Wanda if she is ok to babysit James for the night?" He asked quietly.

"Miss Maximoff said she would love to look after you son, and something else that I shan't repeat for fear of Mr Stark overhearing and disturbing Agent Romanoff's sleep."

Steve laughed and thanked the AI before continuing to watch the movie he was only mildly interested in. He wrapped his arm around her waist before trying to detach the claw like grip on his arm.

He looked down and saw a constricted look on her sleeping face. He removed is arm and Natasha whimpered and tried to reach for his arm again.

"Hey, hey. Ssh, I'm still here." He whispered and ran his hands through her hair to calm her down.

Her eyes flew open and she looked around wildly. She turned around and saw him looking at her and she tackled him in a hug.

"I'm here. James is with Wanda. You're with me." Steve explained as he hugged her back.

"Steve." She cried into his neck.

Steve laid down and pulled the covers over them. "Tell me what happened." He said as he sat up and created a blanket tent.

"We were on a date and Red Room came and they had James and-and." Natasha began to cry before she could finish.

Steve leaned forward and pulled her towards him. "You are fine. I am fine." He explained and kissed her nose.

She buried her head in his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too Nat." He moved forward and lay her on the pillows before moving to sleep next to her. He wrapped his arms around her before they both slowly fell asleep.

 **A/N: Heyo! So I feel like I haven't updated any of my stories in a while and I was just wondering if anyone actually reads and enjoys them. If you do, please review this chapter.**


	48. Chapter 48

Natasha awoke the next morning to find a warm chest pressed against her back and Steve's chin on her neck with his arm around her waist. She opened her eyes and saw James lying in front of her.

She pulled her son towards her and she saw that his fingers were wrapped around Steve's fingers. "Hello boys." She whispered and placed James onto her stomach, Wanda must've put him in his crib when she went to bed.

Steve kissed her neck before grumbling something.

"What did you say baby?" She asked sleepily.

"It's too early." He groaned and buried his head further into her hair.

Natasha laughed and hugged her son closer to her, "If you keep doing this James might become my new favourite in this tower."

"Hey! That's not far." He exclaimed and shot up. He looked down at her and smiled when he saw how sweet she looked with their son.

Natasha laughed and reached up to grab the front of his pyjama bottoms. She pulled him down until he was lying down next to her. "If it's too early you have to stay here and cuddle with us." She whispered and pressed her lips against his.

Steve didn't protest and he gladly kissed her back until James pushed his hands onto her face. "Again?" Steve exclaimed.

They both laughed and she kissed his nose and Steve's cheeks before lying back. "I love you both, so much."

"We love you too Nat." Steve said and pulled her into his arms. He didn't want to move, her was comfy and had the two most important things in his life with him, and nothing could destroy this peace.

Until, "Capsicle get up! We must plan Red's party." Tony's voice floated through the microphones in their room.

"Go away." He groaned at the corner of the room.

"Little Red, if you're listening please wake up your boyfriend."

"Shut up Tony!" Natasha shouted and threw a pillow at the microphone.

James' eyes began to well up with tears at the raise in their voices and the sudden movement.

Natasha looked down at their son and saw tears. "No sweetie, please don't cry. Please don't cry baby." She whispered and hugged him. "Uncle Tony is leaving us alone now." She hissed.

Her words had no effect on their son as tears sprung from his eyes and down his cheeks. "No, Jamie, baby, please don't cry. Please." She begged.

"Nat, hey. Calm down, he's a baby, he'll cry a lot. It's ok. It's not your fault." Steve whispered and hugged both his son and his girlfriend.

Natasha pulled away and went to get changed. When she emerged from their bathroom, Steve had managed to calm down James and Natasha instantly felt terrible, she couldn't even calm her son down.

"Do I have to calm you down as well?" Steve said with a laugh, which only made Natasha feel worse. "What's wrong?" Steve asked and stood up, holding James close to him.

"I can't even calm James down." She whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Nat, stop. Please." Steve said and pulled her into a hug. She cried onto his bare chest and felt James reach for her hair.

"Rogers please get your girlfriend and son downstairs, everyone wants to see them."

"Tony if you talk to us through the speakers one more time I will kill you, ok?" Natasha hissed.

"We should probably go and join the others." Steve said and pulled her away from his chest. He handed her James before kissing her forehead and going to get changed.

"So James. Tell me, why are Steve and Wanda the only people able to calm you down?" She asked with a whisper.

James laughed and played with her hair. He grabbed the finger she waved above his face.

"I love you too baby." She changed her hold of him until she was cradling him.

Steve walked out of the bathroom and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Let's eat." He whispered into her ear and led her out of their room into the dining hall.

"Ah! An hour after I first called for them to come down here, they finally arrived!" Tony exclaimed and moved around to give the family more room.

"Shut up Tony." Clint hissed and took James from Natasha so she could go and get breakfast.

No sooner had everyone sat down and started eating had JARVIS sounded through the speakers. "Avengers, you are needed in the briefing room."

Natasha groaned and took James from Clint. "Let's go." She sighed and walked over to one of the tables where the other SHIELD agents were. "Bobbi, could you please look after James until I come back from briefing?" She asked her oldest friend. She kissed his forehead before looking at Bobbi.

"Of course. Good luck Natasha." Bobbi said and took James.

"Let's go." Clint said and together the Avengers walked towards Fury's briefing room. They sat down and looked up nervously at Fury.

"You have a mission." He informed them.

"Thought so, what else could it be?" Tony said with a smirk but it was quickly wiped from his face when Fury glared at him.

"You have to teach us how to do that." Steve said and everyone laughed except Tony who glared at the golden haired Captain.

"HYDRA is back. We heard from an insider source that they are planning to break into New Scotland Yard. We are told the attack will happen in the next couple of days. You leave tonight. You will be posing as either police or finance workers. Captain, you are going to lead the mission." Fury told them and handed him the files they needed.

"Who was the inside source?" Natasha asked, although she believed she had a clue. She hadn't seen Bobbi or Jemma around the tower in a while.

"Agents Simmons and Morse." Fury told her, a knowing smile on her face.

"Tell them I say well done for getting the intel." She said before walking out of the room.

The rest of the Avengers looked at each other before making their way out of the room.

"Where'd she go?" Peter asked as they walked back to the dining hall.

"Probably to get her baby back." Clint said with a smirk and walked over to their table, only to find it had two extra people at it.

"Hey guys." Natasha said cheerily. "This is Bobbi Morse and Jemma Simmons. They were the two SHIELD agents that were working undercover as HYDRA agents and are going to tell us more Intel than is in that file." She told them and pointed to the file Steve was holding.

"Ok, so they want to get at the money the Yard has. If they get to that, and remove it, the Yard has no way to finance police, and by taking out finance officers, they have no way to manage the money. That's not in the file." Bobbi said and took the file from Steve. She got a pen out and began to scribble down what she had just told them.

"Yeah and from the Yard they are going to try and do the same to all of Europe until the entire continent is in anarchy. They'll then send some of their agents in to take over the countries." Simmons informed them. "Basically, you guys need to stop them or everything will go to shit and we will be very screwed."

"Thank you." Natasha said. "Also before you go." She began before the two agents left, "Simmons, could you and Fitz possibly look after James until me and Steve get back?" She asked with a smirk. "It'll be good practice for when you have a baby."

"Haha, very funny Romanoff." She said sarcastically. "But of course I'll look after James." She said and took James from Nat. "Say by to mommy and daddy." The girl said, putting on a terrible American accent.

"Bye baby." Natasha said and kissed his forehead.

"Bye Jamie."

 **A/N: For those of you who don't know, New Scotland Yard is in London and is responsible for basically running the police.**

 **I hope you guys like this chapter, please review because they make my day. Love you all 3000!**


	49. Chapter 49

"Wanda, Peter and Clint you are going to pose as finance workers or officers. Thor you are going to be a security guard, scan everyone who walks into the building. Tony, just walk around the building, tail these people." Steve said and handed him pictures of the four people they knew would be part of the operation.

"We don't know exactly when this operation will happen but every half an hour Clint, Wanda and Peter you will swap places in front of the safe with the money." Natasha said as she walked out of the quinjet bathroom in her catsuit.

"So what will you and Cap be doing?" Tony asked as he studied the faces of the HYDRA agents in front of him.

"Thor, you are also going to be looking for the people Tony is trailing. When they walk in the building, Thor make sure you alert us." Steve said, avoiding Tony's question.

"Me and Steve are going talking to the heads of department, trying to get them to shut the place down. No one leaves or enters the building." Natasha said and walked over to the pilot's seat.

"If anyone does, make sure that you take them down. We don't need HYDRA taking over Europe." Steve told them.

"Do we get uniforms or anything else to wear because I'm pretty sure I look weird in my suit." Peter asked and looked down at his attire.

"There's some stuff in that case." Wanda said and pointed to the corner of the quinjet.

"We'll land on the top of the building opposite the Yard in a couple of hours, be ready." Natasha said and flicked the jet onto autopilot.

Natasha was nervous, as was Steve, this was there first mission since James was born and this time they both had a reason to come home in one piece. They needed to be together for their son, they needed to raise him as a family.

"Are you ok?" Steve asked and knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his.

"It seems like a simple mission, considering what I've done, but I know that something could go wrong. I don't want James to grow up with one parent." She told him and kissed his hands.

"He won't. We'll both be safe and no harm will come to us. We've been through worse, remember." Steve said and hugged her.

"I love you." She kissed him before walking back into the main body of the quinjet and handing Wanda a blazer and pencil skirt.

"I love you too." Steve said and kissed her temple.

"Everyone good?" Tony asked and placed the photos of the HYDRA agents in a briefcase.

"We land in thirty minutes. Get ready." Natasha said and walked back over to the pilot's seat to begin steering the jet.

After half an hour, Natasha put the jet into stealth mode and landed on top of the building opposite the Yard.

"Peter, get Natasha up to the roof of the building." Steve said.

Natasha grumbled before hugged Peter as they swung to the roof. "Thanks Peter but I never want to do that again." She said and placed her hands on her knees, trying to steady her stomach.

"You get used to it after a while." Peter laughed as the rest of their team landed on the roof with them.

"I'll stick to flying on a jet thanks." Steve said as he let go of Tony.

"Let's go." Natasha said and led the group through a door on the roof. They walked through the building until Peter and Wanda left impersonate finances officers.

"Comms on?" Clint asked.

"Yup Mr Barton." Peter voice came over the comms and Natasha had to stop herself from laughing.

Eventually everyone was in their positions until Natasha and Steve were walking towards the head of the Yards office.

Natasha raised her hand and knocked on the door. She held her shield badge in her hand. Sighing, she stepped back as the door open and she walked in, Steve on her tail.

"Yes?" A man asked, his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

"I'm Natasha Romanoff and this is my partner Steve Rogers and we work for SHIELD. We need you to shut the building down. HYDRA are coming and are going to try and steal the finances." She said.

Meanwhile, Steve walked around the office, thinking something didn't see right. The man hadn't noticed him looking around, he was too engaged in staring at Natasha explained why they needed to shut the place down.

He noticed a small pool of blood seeping out from under the closet on the opposite wall. He pressed a finger to his comms and whispered, "HYDRA has taken over the main office of the yard. Wanda, Clint, Peter get to the safe." 

Natasha looked over at him worriedly, ringing her hands together nervously. "Actually, I just got a message saying that HYDRA has backed down." She told the man and nodded to Steve who locked the door to the office.

"Good to hear." The man said and they both distinctly heard a gun cock. He pulled the gun out and aimed it at Natasha's head.

Steve lunged forward and knocked the gun out of his hand, making it shoot at the ceiling. Fragments of ceiling fell on the two as Natasha shot the man. "One HYDRA agent down. No idea how many more to go." Steve informed the rest of the Avengers.

Natasha ran out of the room, "Hail HYDRA!" She shouted and four people ran up to her and saluted her.

Steve knocked them all out and handcuffed them. He took their comms and slotted one his ear and handed the other to Natasha.

"Guys, they're here." Clint shouted through the comms, followed be grunting and a shout that sounded like Wanda.

"We're on our way." Steve said and they ran down to the safe.

They joined the fight and found their team out numbered by HYDRA agents. Natasha ran in and knocked out the ones that surround Wanda, who had a bullet wound in her lower calf. "Steve, help me get Wanda out of here." Natasha begged and hoisted Wanda's arm around her shoulder.

"No! Nat, I need to help."

Steve shook his head before picking Wanda up and carrying her outside. He placed Wanda in the corridor outside before telling her to shout if more agents came their way.

"Could use some help in her Cap!" Peter called, followed by a short shout of pain.

Steve ran back in and eventually they managed to kill or knock out all the HYDRA agents. "Is everyone ok?" He asked and checked the three other people in the room.

"Yeah, Cap, we're fine." Clint said as they began moving all the agents out of the room. "Peter, sling them up."

They hauled them up the stairs and into an elevator where they then took them up to the quinjet. "Thor, Tony, everything good?" Wanda asked as she began to sew up her bullet wound.

"Everything is good. I'm on my way up." Tony said and a couple of minutes later he arrived with Thor.

"Let's go." He said and the jet took off.

Steve noticed Natasha was incredibly quiet, even more so than normal after a mission. "Nat, hey, are you ok sweetheart?" He asked and moved to sit next to her.

"No." She whispered and removed her hand from her stomach. Her hand was covered in blood and her eyes were drooping.

"Lean against me and I'll help you close it up." He said and pulled her against his chest and began to temporarily staple her bullet wound shut. "We said no injuries, remember?" He whispered to her still body, the rest of the quinjet occupants melting away so it was just the two of them.

"Nat, James needs us. You said yourself, you've been through worse." He whispered and tears dripped onto his cheeks. "Nat, please."

 **A/N: I'm thinking of finishing this book soon so I'm trying to tie up loose ends, so the next couple of chapters may be intense, or they may just suck. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Love you all!**


	50. Chapter 50

Natasha awoke with a sharp pain in her stomach. She blinked her eyes open and stared around the dark room. She moved her hand down to her stomach and felt stitches.

Her first thought was Steve, where was he and was he safe? Then she thought of James as she pushed herself into a sitting position on the bed.

She asked JARVIS to put the lights on and she saw Steve hunched up in a chair, asleep. James was asleep in his travel cot by the bottom of Steve's chair.

"Steve?" She whispered and placed a hand on her stomach again when pain seared up it again. She groaned in pain before saying his name again, but this time louder.

Steve's eyes shot open and he stood up. "Nat, hey. Sweetheart are you ok?" He asked with tears in his eyes. He sat down on the edge of her bed and held her hand tightly.

"I'm fine. Just a stomach bullet wound, I'm fine." She whispered and moved to the side of the bed so Steve could sit next to her. She put her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

"We said no injuries remember?" He said and kissed her forehead. He slipped out of the bed and took James from his cot and sat in the bed next to Natasha.

"I know, I'm sorry. They were lunging for you and I couldn't see you die." She whispered and brushed the hair out of her sons face. Tears dripped down her face as pain flared up again from her stomach.

"Is your wound hurting?" Steve said and pulled the blanket away so he could check the wound. Gently, he pulled the bandage away and saw it bleeding lightly. "I think you tore your stitches when you sat up."

"I've been through worse. Pass me that table over there and I'll stitch myself up." She whispered and pointed to the corner of the room where a table was with needles.

Steve passed her the table and helped her stitch the wound back together. "That's better, they'll hold." He whispered and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Go back to sleep, it's about two in the morning." He whispered and helped her lie back down.

"Stay here with me." She demanded quietly, not wanting to wake their son, who was having a peaceful nights sleep for once.

"No. You'll be out of the hospital soon, I promise. I'll be over there." He told her and pointed over to the chair he was sitting on previously. "Goodnight my darling." He kissed her before walking over to the chair and settling down, uncomfortably, to sleep.

"Goodnight my love. I love you."

"I love you too."

Natasha smiled happily before lying back down and settling down to sleep.

Steve awoke to find Natasha crying in her sleep. She was whimpering and saying his name. He stood up and rushed to her side. He placed his hand on her face and caressed her cheek.

"No, no. Please no. Steve." A pause, "Steve!" She screamed and her eyes shot open and darted around the room, sweat drenching her forehead.

"Hey, hi. Hey sweetheart. You're okay. You're okay. James is okay, I'm fine." He told her gently, and helped her into a sitting position.

Natasha nodded and moved out of the bed and into his arms. She dug her head into his chest and felt strong arms wrap around her. She closed her eyes and listened to the steady beating of his heart to calm her.

Steve manoeuvred them until he was sitting on the bed, his legs hanging of the side and she was sitting with her legs thrown over his lap. He caressed her calf with one hand and held her hand with the other. "You can tell me."

"It was about the last mission we had. They managed to shoot you." She whispered, with tears in her eyes. "You died. They killed everyone else, I was alone." She paused and let out a shaky sob, "I was left alone." Tears spilt down her face as she finished.

"I'm sorry Nat, I'm so sorry." He pulled her into a hug and held her as she cried. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.

They broke apart when they heard a knock in the door. "Oh sorry. Should I come back later?" Cho asked.

Steve shook his head, "No, check her now please." He got off the bed and picked James up from his cot.

Cho helped Natasha out of the bed. "Any trouble during the night?"

"Yeah, I tore my stitches but Steve helped me stitch them back up." She said and helped Cho remove her bandage.

"You're lucky your serum can heal bullet wounds quickly." Cho said and began wiping the blood around her wound. "At least you stayed in the hospital room this time."

"Ok, last time wasn't my fault!" She exclaimed with a laugh.

"I think you're good. You can go." Cho said and walked out of the room.

"Let's go." Steve said and wrapped an arm around her waist. He bent down to pick up James' cot and he helped her up to their room.

"I hate hospital gowns." She groaned when they got to their room. She took off the gown and flung it at Steve, who grinned at her. "Pass me some clothes."

Steve walked over to their closet and took out some jeans and a top for her. He walked back over to her and pressed kiss all over her face.

She laughed and took the clothes in his hand. She changed quickly took James from his cot. "How's my baby? Huh, my baby boy? Are you hungry?" she asked animatedly.

"I have the bottle." Steve said and handed it to her. He helped her to sit on the bed. He laid James on her lap and fed him.

"I'm going to get some breakfast." She said and tried to get up but a pain in her stomach made her sit down. "Help." She pleaded and held out her hand.

He sighed and helped her up carefully. Wrapping his arm around her waist he helped her downstairs. He placed her in a seat and she leant her head against Wanda.

"How are you?" She asked and took James from her.

"I've been better."

"Well, it's your birthday in a week so you'll be better by then." Tony said and stuffed some food in his mouth.

"Uh don't remind me! I'm gonna be 95!" She exclaimed, her laugh ringing out across the dining hall.

"I'm 100." Steve elbowed her and she laughed harder. "You're hilarious."

"I know. I know." She laughed as he kissed her forehead.


	51. Chapter 51

Natasha forced her eyes open, the screaming turning into a whimper. She turned onto her side and reached out for Steve, only to find he wasn't there. She pulled herself into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her head in them.

She looked up when she heard cries from the other side of the room and released James was awake and in need of attention. She stumbled out of bed on weak legs and picked him up.

"Hi James. I'm sorry if I woke you sweetheart, mummy just wishes daddy were here." She whispered to her son. Walking back over to her bed, she lay down and placed James down to her left.

James looked at her and reached his arms out for her.

Natasha took his small hand in her and kissed it. She looked over him and saw it was three in the morning. Normally when she woke up this early, Steve would help comfort her back to sleep, but he wasn't here, he was on a mission.

Soon, James was asleep and Natasha picked him up and moved him to his cot. She walked back to her bed and lay back down, pulling the duvet over her until only her chin was showing.

She shut her eyes and tried to fall back asleep, but every time she shut her eyes she was reminded that Steve wasn't there and she was terrified she would have a nightmare and wake her son again.

She lay awake for hours before finally deciding to get up. She was going to try and avoid everyone today; she wasn't interested in her birthday if Steve wasn't there.

She walked over to James and picked him up carefully, and put him in his stroller. "Let's go out today baby." She whispered and walked out of the tower into the busy streets of New York.

James began to open his eyes as they got to Central Park. He gave her grin and Natasha smiled bent down to kiss his forehead.

She walked over to the lake and took James out of her stroller and sat down on the grass. She placed her son on her lap and began pointing out things in the lake when her phone rang. She answered it and heard Wanda screaming at her.

"Wanda, calm down." She said as she pulled her phone away from her eye as not to deafen herself.

"Where are you?" Wanda asked panicked, "James is gone! Are you ok?"

Natasha laughed and stood up. "Wanda, I'm fine. I'm in Central Park with James because I don't want to stay in the tower again."

"Nat, is this because of Steve?"

"Maybe." She whispered as she began to walk back to the tower, stopping at a bakery to get some breakfast. "I just miss him. He's been gone for two days and Fury said the mission would take a week."

"He'll be back soon. Come back to the tower, Tony's throwing a fit because he wants you here for dinner."

"I'm on my way." Natasha said before hanging up and looked down at her son. "Do you know what today is baby?" She asked and blew a raspberry at him. "It's mommy birthday, and your daddy isn't here. Daddy's missing mummy's birthday."

When they walked into the tower, everyone began cheering and screaming her name, wishing her a happy birthday.

"Thanks guys." She whispered and got James out of his stroller. She hugged him close to her as he began to cry at the loud noise.

Wanda walked over to her and hugged her. "Come on. You're going to sleep." She whispered and took James from her and handed him to Clint. She helped Natasha up to her room. "JARVIS says you've only had three hours sleep since Steve left."

Natasha groaned before laying down on the bed. She glared at the young girl before shutting her eyes and letting sleep over take her.

Wanda slipped out of the room before walking back to the common room and pulled out her phone. She had a text from Fury.

 _He's on his way back. Sending in different agents to take over._

Wanda smiled, "Steve's on his way back. Fury's sending different agents over." She told everyone.

Tony nodded before opening up the security feed for Natasha's room. "She's sleeping peacefully, for now. I'll alert you if she changes."

"Ok. I'm going to get my kids and Laura. I should be back for dinner." Clint said and walked out of the tower.

Then, they all began to try and get ready for the dinner. Peter was making the meat, Tony was doing the decorations, Wanda was doing presents, Maria was preparing the vegetables and sides and Thor was sitting on the couch looking at take out menus, for when the meal when wrong, as well as looking after James.

"Captain Rogers has landed in the tower." JARVIS informed them and Wanda looked up from the present she was wrapping.

"Tell him to go straight to Agent Romanoff's room." She said.

"Miss Maximoff has informed me to tell you that you must go straight to Agent Romanoff's room." JARVIS told Steve as he walked out of the quinjet.

"Thanks JARVIS." He said as he ran towards the room he shared with Nat. He changed out of his suit and into some comfy clothes when he heard Natasha whimpering.

"You really don't get one good night's sleep do you baby?" He whispered to her before moving to sit next to her on the bed and pull her into his arms. He began to caress her and kiss her face until she began to calm down.

Natasha felt someone pull her into their arms and she calmed from her nightmare, until she realised that it couldn't be Steve and she began to struggle. She forced her eyes open and gazed up at Steve.

"Steve?" She exclaimed and her voice cracked. She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. "You're mission wasn't supposed to."

Steve cut her off by kissing her. "Happy Birthday, my love."

"I love you." She whispered and hugged him tighter. She felt tears on her cheeks and she buried her head in his neck.

"I love you too Nat." He whispered and pulled back from the hug. He laid her back down and kissed her again. "Go back to sleep. You need it." He told her and reached over to grab a book from the side table.

Natasha looked up at him, dreary eyed before moving and resting her head on his lap. "Wake me up before dinner." She whispered sleepily and wrapped an arm around his legs.

Steve nodded and began rubbed her arms to help her sleep.

 **A/N: The next chapter will probably be the last one and it will be quite funny, I hope. Thank you for all the favs and comments. Love you all!**


	52. Chapter 52

" _Natasha, you've done your job well." Ivan whispered, his breath fanning her ear._

" _No, no." Natasha pleaded._

 _Ivan just shook his head, raising the gun up, higher and higher until it was pointed right between Steve's eyes. He laughed crazily._

 _Steve looked at her with wide eyes, reaching a hand out for her. He smiled at her weakly before a gun shot echoed through the room, and his eyes lost all colour._

 _Natasha screamed, louder than she'd ever screamed and tried to force her eyes open. Tears dripped from her eyes and she looked at the pool of blood forming from between Steve's eyes._

"Nat, it's ok." Steve whispered and pulled her closer. He held her tightly as her screams subsided and her eyes blinked open slowly.

"Steve? Steve! Oh thank god you're ok." She cried out, tears sprung from her eyes and she couldn't stop them.

He pulled her even closer to him and wrapped his arms around her waist. He whispered calmingly in her ear and let her relax against him.

"Nat, it was just a nightmare, it's not real, I promise. It's just us here, just you and me. " Steve whispered as he helped her out of their bed. He wrapped an arm around he waist to steady her as he helped her into the shower.

"I'm just out here, it's ok." He whispered when she turned to look at him.

When she stepped out of the shower Steve wrapped her in a fluffy towel and carried her towards their bed. "Dinner's in an hour." He told her.

Natasha nodded and lowered her head, she let out a small laugh, "I keep killing you in my dreams."

He shook his head and held her hand as he rubbed her back. "As long as you don't kill me in real life then it's fine." He laughed and pushed her up. "Go and get changed, I'll still be here when you come out."

Natasha nodded and walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out a light cream summer dress with flowers over it. She slipped it over her head and walked back out to meet Steve who was wearing a shirt and some dress slacks.

"Nat, you look beautiful." He said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"You look very handsome as well." She told him and they walked towards the dining hall.

The doors opened and the dining room was revealed to show burn stains on the top of the oven and all the avengers sitting around on the floor, holding take-out menus with James lying in the middle of them, babbling happily. The meat and vegetables were a black block of coal, smoke rising from the centre.

Natasha turned to look at Steve, a grin spreading across both their faces. She shook her head lightly and let out a series of giggles, so unlike the Black Widow before burying her head in his chest. Her shoulders shook due to badly hidden laughter.

Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders lightly, dropping his head on down to kiss her. "We should've just gone out to dinner." He laughed quietly, the almost comatose avengers not noticing the couple.

"Were you ever going to tell us that you nearly set the place on fire or were you going to let us know once we were all dead?" She asked, a smirk in her voice. Raising her head, she surveyed the scene again and couldn't help but laugh at the guilty looks on their faces.

"Natasha, we are so so sorry. Peter managed to burn the." 

"I did not burn anything Clint! You were the one that thought it was a good idea to let Lila stir the gravy!" Peter shouted back.

"It was Hill's job to make the gravy!" Tony shouted, "You burnt down all my decorations!"

All the avenges back shouting and screaming at each other whilst James just sat patiently in the middle of them, clapping his hands together.

"Should we just go and get take-out?" Steve asked and went to pick up James from the centre of the arguing teammates.

"Definitely." She whispered and took his hand and they walked out of the tower together, looking for Chinese.

When they got back, everyone was still arguing. The beef smelt so much worse than before and Natasha now just noticed the gravy strewn across the remnants of the decorations.

She had to stifle a laugh and hugged James tighter to her chest. She rose up and kissed Steve lightly before taking his hand and walking towards the sofas, which were the only part of the room undamaged by the attempt at dinner.

"We have Chinese." Steve shouted to towards the group and immediately their heads swung round, guilty in their eyes.

"I knew it would all go wrong!" Thor boomed and walked over to join the family on the sofa.

Just then the elevator doors opened the Barton family appeared. The children ran towards Natasha, Steve and James whereas Laura stood with her hands on her hips. "I told you it would go wrong Clinton."

Everyone laughed as they all sat down in front of the TV. "Seriously Natasha, we are all so sorry. We didn't mean to ruin your birthday." Tony said sincerely.

"It's fine Tony. Seriously." She said as she handed everyone his or her food. She leant against Steve's side and placed James on her lap.

"This is a perfect birthday." She whispered and began eating.

The afternoon tuned into the evening and the conversation continued well into the night. They had finished their meal hours ago and everyone was now either dozing or engaged in light conversation.

Natasha was curled into Steve's chest, looking up at him with big glassy eyes. "Thank you for coming home for my birthday."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world babe. Happy Birthday." He leant down to kiss her and smiled into the kiss.

She held James' closer to her as she felt her eyelids droop. "I'm going to sleep, so don't wake me up." She said and rested her head against his neck.

"Ok baby. I love you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you too." She whispered as sleep over took her.

 **A/N: So, that's the end of this story. I'm going to go through and edit every chapter cos there is a shit ton of errors. Hope you all enjoyed this story!**


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